A Question about Visitation with my son and his father....?

Question

Hi, I recently just broke up with my jerk of a bf, We have a 3 month old son together. What do you think some of the guidelines should be for a visitation between my son and his father.

There will be NO over nights stays until he is at least 2... and I really dont want him left alone with his father too...

and do you think I should make him pay child suport? how much should I ask for?

Thanks... i'm pretty well ticked off at him, and I'd be ok with my son never seeing his lying, cheating dad again, but I know its best for him to have 2 parents... My judgement is filled with bitterness and anger at his dad right now, but I want to give him a list of guidelines to go by, please help me! ALso there is a chance that his dad may be moving out of state....

Answer 1

You should NEVER keep a child from his father just because you had problems with him. I know you don';t want to hear it, but why do you want to punish your child? Just because his dad cheated on you or whatever, doesn't mean you should punish the child.

Answer 2

Why don't you want him left alone with his father?
If you think the dad is a bad person, untrustworthy, involved in drugs or whatever, and going to expose your kid to chaos, then I have heard that, to make your son's life as peaceful as possible, it may be desirable to get your boyfriend to sign away his parental rights. Bribe him with not having to pay child support. But only do this if your boyfriend has a problem with substance abuse or is in some other way not really a fit parent.
If your boyfriend is moving out of state and won't be seeing your son, you probably really want to make sure he signs away his parental rights so that he doesn't reappear later and sue for custody.
Good luck.

Answer 3

You are absolutely right, the child needs both parents! First of all, I understand that you are angry, but know that you are not the one who sets the guidlines on visitation or child support...that is what the courts do....unless you can prove that he is an unfit father then you have no legal reasons to set any guidelines. If he moves out of state then he will still have visitation rights...as the courts see fit.

Take a little time and think about what is best for the child.

Answer 4

right now you are upset at the child(rens) father but keeping a child from their father isnt in their best intrest we dont have all of the information to answer these questions child support is decided by a judge and they have to go by his income i belive its 6% of his earnings I also dont think you should show your anger towards the father of your precious child(ren) for any reason in frount of the child(ren) because that only makes the child(ren) resent you when they are older but guidelines should be placed but they are guidelines you should use as well. So when you are deciding what guidelines to use think as to weather you can abide by them as well an example that is hard to abide by is if you tell the father you dont want the child around their g/f-b/f then you should not have the child(ren) around your g/f-b/f

Answer 5

I'm sorry the three of you have to go though this my ex and i split up when joey was 1 1/2 y/o

what you have to do is stop thinking about what he did to you and look at what kind of a father he is or will be

most states have parenting plans on there web sites you can print one out and fill it out then file it

feel free to e mail me and i can walk you though this

Answer 6

well the right answer is to say you need to let your son know his father too, but i couldnt say i would with a child that small. do you know that the child will be properly takne care of? is the father a drug or alcholic besides a cheater lol. if you dont have confidence in him properly taking care of him, then i wouldnt. he cant make you without a court order.
for child support, go and file now. they will make you both fill out expense declerations (just shows your income verses bills) and decide on child support on that. also it depends on how much visitation he has
if he is moving out of state, he cannot take the baby without filing for custody and a move away order. however if he isnt intrested in going through a custody battle then i wouldnt worry about it.

Answer 7

Why do people not think about what kind of person they are having a child with until AFTER the baby comes? The man was good enough for you to choose him to father your child....maybe you should consider the idea that he's not the only one with problems here.

Answer 8

their right about the judge thing. but if you go to the attorney general, which handles the child support cases and specifically ask that the child have no over night visitations until the age of 2 and other specifications. they will most likely comply. you can also set different boundaries in there. like what days he had pick him up.. what hour you want him home. stuff like that.

Answer 9

Well, take him to court. Paternity test. I think $200.00 a a month is fine. My boyfriend took his ex to court because she denied him any sort of visitation, didn't put him on the birth certificate, and was going to make another guy(her new "baby daddy" she had another one when my boyfriends child was 10 months) the babies daddy. If the ex boyfriend is just a total *** then kick him out of the baby's life.

Answer 10

First thing to realize is that your child is NOT a weapon. Regardless of what he did to you, he has rights as a father that the court will determine.

Too many women use their children as a weapon against their ex and that is childish and disgraceful. Unless abuse was involved the father should have the same rights as you do.

Answer 11

well the visitation is up to your ex. I mean lets see how often he comes around to visit his child. I think 3 mos is too young for a baby to be without his mom. As far as child support goes, does your county district attorney handle that? That way you're not the "bad" guy (and if he's late things like his license and tax returns will be taken from him).