What do you do when you feel your life has absolutely no purpose?

Question

When all of your previous goals / dreams have died? What happens now? Where does hope ever come back -- and how? I'm single (lonely), uneducated (4 years college, no degree) and old (32). I feel so pessimistic about the future that the taste is BITTER. What can I do? I HAVE to change or I will NOT survive. Any advice? :)

Answer 1

Take up surfing.

No joke.

I was a young infantry officer, both my legs got messed up, i couldn't soldier any more, couldn't run or play sport anymore, was unemployed, my girlfriend of many years left me, etc, etc bring on the violins.

You've got to fight to get back on your feet. It took me a while but now I have a good job i love and a good life. Surfing is the most peaceful, relaxing experience and whenever I got too stressed just taking my dog to the beach and getting out on the waves cleared my head and made it all worth while.

Doesn't have to be surfing. Just getting out into the wild is enough. Oh and I live in freezing cold Scotland which is proof that if you live near the sea you can surf.

Take up a hobby that you can be passionate about. You'll meet people, have fun and enjoy life.

Answer 2

I have something rather confrontational to say--your current situation-whatever it may be-is a direct result of what you are feeling, thinking, and believing. Unless you take full responsibility for where you are now, you will never fully have control over where you are going.
You are deserving of whatever you want. You are here for a purpose-do not waste the gift of life. Did you know that in the city where you reside-there is buried treasure in abundance?
And, its right before your eyes! It lies just below the surface of any cemetery--there in the ground are unwritten books, unpublished music, unfinished works of art ; talented personalities that never offered their gifts to others.
Get busy--volunteer at local agencies that are helping the less fortunate. Read to Seniors, help the homeless--give the knowledge, skills, and abilities you've acquired in a helpful manner. You will be so busy that, you won't have the time to be depressed or self-critical.
The object of all life is development--develop your mind, soul, and body. You owe mankind an opportunity to know how you struggled and survived. We all have problems--but together we can accomplish greatness.
May the blessings flow.

Answer 3

stop asking questions and go get the things that are bringing you down! go get a new hairstyle or a makeover. it will make you feel better about your self. start an excercise program. it will help release endorphins that will make you happier and it'll get you in shape so you don't feel so old. go out and get a degree in something! you can do the massage therapy one. and if nothing else you will be able to give good massages to the next guy worth your attentions. and, btw, the dream shouldn't dissapear when you're 32. in all the romance novels, all the girls are late 20s or early 30s. you have to experience life and know who you are before the love can happen. so start finding yourself and don't let yourself be defined by the things that bring you down! romance doesn't just happen in the movies/storybooks, you know!

Answer 4

Get educated.

With 4 years of credits-- you probably could graduate in one or two more years!

I'm 34 and I went back to college. (I never graduated because of depression etc.) You've got to get your life back together.

Don't worry about love or being lonely-- get yourself together and the rest will follow.

Single-- Now is really not the time to stress about that.

Uneducated-- Get educated! Work on that first!

Old-- Yeah, there is nothing to do about that. But just think... do you want to graduate college any older than 35???

And I will graduate older than 35! Don't be like me.

Get yourself together, baby girl.

Answer 5

First of all 32 aint old at all. Second why did you let your dreams die? As lame as it sounds life is what you make it. As far as I can see there is no deep purpose or meaning. The best advice I can say is Do what makes you happy. Screw everyone else and stop being so serious. Worrrying about **** you cant change is a waste of time
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Answer 6

Hugs for you - first and formost.

I am a 33 yr old woman who suffers from depression. So, though I can never know your exact feelings, I know aproximately where you are right now.

The things you have described, dead dreams, loss of hope, lonely, pessimistic, even bitter, all sound like depression to me.

You are right - things have to change! I also want to let you know that you might need a little help to deal with this.

If you are thinking about suicide or hurting youself (or others) in any way, you need to straight to the emergency room and they will help you from there.

You might need to make some changes in your life and you might need some medication and you might need a therapist. You might need one or all of these to help you through this time. I strongly encourage you to seek medical help from a psychiatrist and to see out a therapist to see if these things will help you. It is often not a simple or quick fix, you might not want to hear this, but it may take a little time and some work to turn around the way you feel. It is true that you can not just "snap out of it."

But, Don't let that cause you any more dispair!!!!!!!! There are lots of things to think about and do to help yourself in the meantime.

1. Put yourself first!!! Do things to take care of yourself. ANything that makes you feel papmered. Show yourself that you love yourself.

2. Adgknowledge the factors causing stress in your life. You can look them over and just see that they are there - you don't have to try and solve them all at once. Just know that they affect you and you will be ok and will find ways to deal with them better whern you feel better. Right now you are taking care of you.

3. Know that how ever aweful you feel right now, this is a temporary state. TEMPORARY. You will come out the other side feeling better.

4. Tell people you are not feeling well and ask for help when you need help. I know it is harder than it sounds, but you will be suprised how many people there are out there who can and will help you.

5. Avoid alchol, drugs - anything that makes you more hyper or is a downer - they all affect your mood and ability to make good decisions. They will not give you escape or release from these feelings and may even make them more intense. If you find yourself using or depending on these items, see a Dr. right away. If you do use or drink and start to feel more like hurting yourself call 911 and go to the ER, where they will keep you safe and set you on a path of help.

6. Seek help of friends and loved ones - sometimes just their presence will help you get out of your head a little bit for a while.

7. Use healthy distractions - you favorite TV Shows, movies, games - take a walk with a camera and focus on the world around you for a while. Exercise can really help clear your head and helps release chemicals that make you feel better, endorphins.

8. There are many, many phone lines with people to talk to if you feel too down. Your healh insurance may have a 24hour mental health line - mine does and they have helped me in the middle of the night, when I didn't have anyone else. There are also all sorts of depression information web sites you can viist. Stick with the ones from trusted sources such as NIMH (national institute for mental health). Oh, and the chat rooms may cause more harm than good. Stick with the professionals.

Lastly - take care. you can email me if you like - know that I am out here caring about you.

Answer 7

When you feel as if your life has no purpose look around and help someone else....there are so many volunteer things to do, many of them very simple...read a book to a poorly sighted person, sit with an elderly person so their caregiver can get out of the house to shop or just have a short break...hold a door for someone else who needs the help. Smile at a baby, pray for those who have physical deformities...many are in wheelchairs and still find life busy and fulfilling...get busy and you will find lots of meaning in your own life!

Answer 8

I had the exact same problem - except I went to school 10 years and didnt get a worthwhile degree....
I had to change everything.
I started writing....
Look at yesterdays question "is depression selfish" and you'll see what I did....
It gets better with time....but you have to make a concerted effort - and be patient. Life didnt get messed up overnight - it wont get better overnight - it might even get worse for a while, but it will get better.
New dreams surface as time goes by and you get to know yourself on a deeper level.
Good Luck

Answer 9

Look at it this way.... you've got a brand new slate to write on!
I don't know about you but my younger years kinda sucked too, so I think life is just life and it all kinda sucks except every now and again you get a reprieve from the drudgery!
Just enough to keep us interested and in the game.
It's up to you to decide what doesn't suck more than the rest.... know what I mean?

Look for laughter and sunshine and anything that will make you smile and don't stop looking.

Answer 10

First of all, have you ever heard the song Move Along by the
All American Rejects. (I am very serious about you hearing this song)Thats what you need to do. i have felt so low i couldn't even move. I was ready to kill myself. The key to this situation is to keep going even if there is no reason, or hope. Hope will find you!!! I have been to the darkest hour and if you will wait you will find the light again-i sware this to you!!!