PLEASE ANSWER does this look "cheap" to an ex?

Question

if your "ex" (we never got to become official because he started liking someone else, after leading me on for three weeks...) broke your heart, about a month ago.... (i still will Always love him though.. and i'm about as over him as i guess i can be for now.. we only truly dated for two weeks, then he led me on for three more..) but then his best friend told me that HE himself liked me (after being there for me and comforting me the week after my "ex" dumped me) and that he wanted to date me. i was just wondering your opinions on dating the Best Friend. because i myself think it is wrong, that i should be off limits to the guys best friends... but many people say it is fine. but i wonder what does this look like in my ex's eyes? does he think i'm just some cheap girl who will date anyone.. if i just give his friend ONE date.. just because he likes me mostly.. i believe in at least trying out a date with someone Once if they ask.. and i've told his friend i only see him as a friend too

i care what my ex thinks because i fell in love with him. and don't say "it wasn't love" or whatever just because i am 17 and perhaps "too young" to some of you. i know i was in love.. but he didn't love me.. so that is why i care though because i care about him. but i just want to go on ONE date with this guy (i guess it might overall be somewhat of a pity date.. but i let him know how i felt and he STILL wanted to go..) and it's high school and i think i should give him this ONE date.. and just see how it goes to make sure..? because i have gone out with him "as friends" to just hang out.. and that was fun, because it was as friends so there was so pressure though..

Answer 1

I don't think it looks cheap. I once dated a guy, who did the same exact thing to me. His best friend was there for me throughout the entire ordeal. In fact in time, his best friend became my best friend. There was always an attraction there. We never dated, just always remained good friends as neither one of us ever wanted to cross that "dating your best friends ex" line. We were very good friends for about 6 years then as we got older we lost touch. Its been 10 years since we last talked and I still think about him. Looking back now I wish I would have dated him. I still think about what could have been. If you have feelings for him then go for it, at least you'll never look back and wonder. On the same hand if you aren't really feeling anything for him more than friendship be up front and tell him that. My motto now is live each day as its your last.

Answer 2

You loved someone after three weeks? I'd have to say if you are just going on a "pity" date like you lead it on to be, don't do that to him. Especially if he is only a friend. You'll either taint your friendship or lose it all together. The other guy was an EX for a reason right? Who really cares what he thinks.

Answer 3

Yeah, there are some people who will think you're cheap for going out with his best friend so quickly afterwards. I mean, there's an unspoken rule between friends right? You don't date your friend's ex. It seems a little weird that the guy would do that to his BEST friend. Even if his friend was a jerk to you.

Hopefully, you didn't sleep with your ex. If you did, it's better to leave this BF alone. If not, why not be friends a little longer and get to know him better anyway? There's no need to rush things especially if you kinda have feelings for your ex and you're not completely over him.

Answer 4

It looks like you are just trying to get back at your x. If you still have feelings for this other guy then you do not need to date the best friend, at least for a few months. Because you know with them being friends....you are bound to run into each other. I would suggest waiting, so that it does not look like you are trying to make your x jealous and so fourth. This way you will find out the real intentions of this guy.....it may have been that you x made some lude remarks about you and the best friend wants to find out if it is true......always respect yourself and your body.....demand that others respect you to.

Answer 5

Go with your gut instinct. Stay away from the best freind. He doesn't sound like a good guy anyway- one week later and he's already trying to get with you?
That does not sound right.
Also are you sure you are ready for a new relationship so soon? Being that you are still concerned w/ what your ex thinks, it does not sound like it. Not trying to be mean, I really do hope the best for you.

Answer 6

If you date your ex's friend and hit it off and stay together as best friends and soul mates and grow old and die together a happy life, well then i guess your ex would look like the cheap fool for letting you go. Life is for living so go try new things.

Answer 7

Sounds like you are quite young - and hence the dating game is a time to experiment, meet new people, and find what you are looking for in a partner. If you found someone you want to date and he feels the same way - despite past relationships - it is perfectly a-okay.

Answer 8

if you already told his friend that you view him as just a friend then you should keep it that way, you have to consider how you would feel if this guy wanted to be with your best friend, And even though he hurt you, as you said, you obviously still value his opinion, so in short the best thing to do is stay away from his friend because in the end you'd just be hurting the friend by leading him on.

Answer 9

Just get on with your life... think about YOU and not so much him, he dumped you after all. IF he wants to think you're only dating his friend because of this reason or that reason , let him think that, and just life your life your way.

Answer 10

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