6 year old with nightmares?

Question

So my nephew is 6 years old, he has had a lot of things go on that most kids dont deal with (his father passed away a few years ago and now a friend of the family whom he stays with a lot is sick) I found out that he has been sneaking into my friends room in the middle of the night and sleeping in his bedroom then waking up before my friend even knows he was there. I also found out he has been having bad dreams about my friend dying... How do we deal with this? I feel he is too old to be sleeping in someone elses bed, but I dont know if under the circumstances it is ok? any advice is appreciated.
Also, although my friend is not his father, he may as well be since he has been taking care of him for the past 2 years (i am at school and his mom has never been in his life) and my nephew considers him like a father and his children like brothers...

I asked this earlier and got some good insight but would like more so that is why I am reasking it. Thanks

to Pandora- first, he doesnt have a mother in his life, like I said. and second, his dreams are of my friend dying so they arent that far off from the truth i cant tell him they are make believe..

I think the reason for him going into the room is that he has had to call 911 for my friend in the past week, and I think he feels he needs to be next to him just in case. I am really not sure what to do if he should be allowed in the bed or not. He is 6 but at the same time he is scared and confused and he has every right to be.

Answer 1

Encourage your nephew to draw on paper what he remembers of his bad dreams.
I did this when my kids were little. It helped them when the big scary things were now little and on paper, where I was present and wouldn't let the bad things get them.
Sometimes, while they were drawing the bad things, they would bravely add happy conclusions on the paper, determined to make the happy things happen the next time they slept.

Answer 2

at 6 years old and as much as he may have been through life is going to hard to handle. many emotions and not knowing whole adult situations can be scary. HE may need some questions answered, but wont ask them. Talk to him, often, ask him if theres anything he wants to know about and dont be afraid to listen. Get him a dream catcher, explain the meaning of it to him, and nitelights wont hurt either! my son will be 7 on the 1st and he had a time similar to this, i just had to be open with him, and explain people sometimes have bad dreams. But to always be positive and think of good happy things before sleep.
I think the dream catcher had alot to do with it. I explained that dreams is something for our minds to do while we sleep because our brains never sleep. Maybe he needs someone to talk to about the death..maybe he doesnt fully understand it or grasps the real reality of what it means. Thats alot to a child. Goodluck and i hope something works for u and him!

Answer 3

He may see a psychologist.

But in terms of his friend dying, he may find the boy in his bedroom. Which means that he should know so that he does get shocked and think he's a burgular.

He should be told why this boy is there.

The boy should be told that it may not be safe if he wakes up and thinks he is a burgular.

Try and find out about this illness he has and if it is not life threatening, show the proof that this is the case by going through information on this condition with him.

Answer 4

Yes, he is to old to be sleeping with someone else in the bed.

You should explain to your 6 y/o nephew that these dreams he has are just make believe. Sometimes make believe can be scarey, but it doesn't happen in real life. And let him talk them out. Let him draw what he sees in his dreams and ask him how he feels everyday. Death can be tramtic for a child, unless you don't make a big deal about it.

Ask him every morning (or tell his mother to do this) to tell her son to draw a picture of what he had a dream about. or you can like, paint a big old chaulk baord in his room to do it. And then they can talk about it.

Just as long as he knows its not "real" and it's "make believe" he will not be scared by it. and his nightmares could go away.

As for sleeping in his friends room, tell him that everytime he sleeps in his own room, he gets a gold star. (kids love charts that they can put stars, or happy faces, whatever on!!) and when he gets like say 30 stars on his chart, he gets a special treat (like ice cream, a specail toy he's been wanting, or maybe a day where he can do wahtever he wants!!!!) And that way he will be discouraged from sleeping in the friends room. I wouldn't punish him for it, but I would very nicely say "Johnny, mommy/aunt *insert name* is very disappointed that you did not sleep in your room last night. Because of this, we can't put a star on your chart today." and thats it. He will feel devstated, and try again to not sleep in that friends room.

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Mother doesn't have to mean the woman who gave birth to you.

And yes, his dreams ARE make belive. Yes, his friend is not far from death, but still, the way he dreams it, is fantasy. I think you shoudl talk to your nephew about what death is and how its okey. If you need to show him how death happens, buy him a flower and explain that even though its really pretty, it will not last forever. Just like his friend. He's his friend, is "pretty" but he can't last forever, just like him. Just remember, explain things simple and he will understand.

Answer 5

It sounds like he needs to have some counseling. He also may feel unsecure because of his mom not being around. Who has guardianship over your nephew? If no one has guardianship someone needs to. He needs to know that he belongs somewhere.

Answer 6

AWWW this poor little guy needs to go and get some counseling, that way he can have someone to talk to...

Answer 7

let him sleep with someone else! its scary for him !