Is this how judgement day will be ?

Question

The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"

Answer 1

LOL!
Ha! I was NOT expecting that ending!!!!
Nice one, but I bet it is not appreciated on here!

Answer 2

Wow of path this is :) LOL i will positioned you at east . do no longer upload OR DELETE FROM THE observe OF GOD BIBLE Of that Day Knoweth No guy. Matthew 24:36-40 4 – yet of that day and hour knoweth no guy, no, no longer the angels in heaven, yet my Father in basic terms. yet because of the fact the days of Noe have been, so shall additionally the appearance of the Son of guy be. Fro as in the days that have been till now the flood they have been ingesting and ingesting, marrying and giving in marriage, till the day that Noe entered into the ark, And knew no longer till the flood got here, and took all of them away; so shall additionally the appearance of the Son of guy be BIBLE.. IC XC NIKA Kyrie Eleison, Kyrie Eleisonl Kyrie Eleison

Answer 3

Wrong. Day of Judgement occurred yesterday, when U.S. A-130 gunships turned Iraqi insurgents into puffs of smoke.

Answer 4

If tonight you stood in heaven's court;
to seek eternal favour...
Would you face Jesus Christ as Judge;
or face Him as your Saviour?
There are many who don't quite know for sure;
what that verdict would be...Ever...

So lets imagine for a moment
you are standing dead center...
In the Courtroom of Forever...

(instrumental)

Sitting before you is a structure;
massive and intense.
It's here where your fate will be determined;
before this Judge's bench...
Then a voice booms:
"This Court's now in session."
And your adrenaline starts to rush.
Peering down with eyes;
that see through your soul..
Is God the Father, your Judge.

Then off to your left;
across the room...
Is the virtual sillouette of sin.
Stepping out of the shadows of condemnation;
your worst nightmare walks in.
On his face is the smirk of evil incarnate;
his mind fixed on your destruction in Hell.
You've just been introduced to you prosecuting attorney;
none other than Satan himself.

The Bible says he's the accuser of the brethren;
so guess what he's gonna do.
He's gonna accuse you of your sins;
and he knows them all...Both the old ones and the new.
He's prepared his case for years;
now the golden moment is his.
So in arrogance he presents his case to the Judge;
and it comes out sounding something like this...

"God, you see this worthless piece of trash over here!
This one is a sinner to the core! This one's commited adultery,
cursed his neighbors, stolen money, been into drugs, alchohol
and even more! This hopeless wretch has even slammed his friends!
And by the guilty face, this courtroom can tell. That through immoral
incertainty beyond any reasonable doubt, this one deserves eternal
judgement in Hell!"

The words of accusation still echoed;
your every sin thrown up in your face...
Then God opens the book;
with every deed that you courted...
And reviews your records of disgrace.
God says "The book says you did this, this, and this and everything
you were accused of today. Now before I sentence you to Hell forever;
are there any last words you have to say?"

...Now if it's true you were standing there;
in the Courtroom of Eternity.
With God to your front, and Satan-the prosecuter-to your left.
There's one remaining eternal truth;
one that's crucial to remember...
One you should never, ever, ever forget...

Then, on the other side of the Courtroom...
(doom music)
I said, on the other side of the Courtroom...
(doom music)
You ain't hearing me tonight;
I said, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COURTROOM!
(doom music)

...Is the one and only Son of God;
revealed in time and space.
And he's your defense attorney;
who has never lost a case!
It's not Buddha, Muhammad, or Christana(wrong);
or any others who succumb to death!
Ladies and gentlemen;
on the other side of The Courtroom,
is Jesus Christ of Nazereth!

Then Jesus jumps up, says:
"Now what a minute God! I got something to say! May I remind you
that on a cross 2000 years ago, I washed his sins away! I was
crucified, I died, they put me in a tomb--but long about the midnight
hour--the power of God hit me and I walked out of that grave, alive
and well with ressurection power!"

Then the devil says:
"It's in the book! It's written in the book! Check the book!"

God said:
"Okay."
Then He takes the book out, lays it open and says:
"Now we'll see what this book has to say."

He turns to the first page...
The second page...
The third...
By the fourth, the devil seemed shook...

God closes it, says:
"The blood of Jesus must of worked...Because there's absolutely
nothing in this book."

The devil says:
"Now what a minute, check that book again! All his sins are written
down, they're all right there!

God says:
"Devil, maybe you're mistaken all together. Maybe it's this other book
down here..."

Devil cries:
"NO!! Not that book! Not that one!"

God said:
"Devil, why you so uptight?"

God sets the book down...
The dust flies...
And on the cover it says: The Lamb's Book of Life!

(singing)

Is your name in that book?
Is your name in that book?
Is your name in that book for sure?

If you've been forgiven...
And your name is written...
Then raise your hands-praise the Lord.

Yes, my name's in that book...
My name is in that book...
My name is in that book tonight...

I've been forgiven...
And I know my name is written...
In the Lamb's Book of Life...

(three blows of the mallet)

This court is ajourned...

Answer 5

Ha. Ha. Ha.

And to think, I didn't see that one coming.

How many millions won't see it coming on Judgment Day?

Answer 6

You should have siad "Test subject of the human race". Stand where I TELL you 345.8, welcome to the Matrix. Now get undressed.

Answer 7

and I so wanted to laugh but this just wasn't funny

Answer 8

Not even close to funny.

Answer 9

definitely not! judgment will come in a different way...

Answer 10

it should be in the jokes section, but it was rather good.