I am a very loving, emotionally and physically available mother for my 3 year old son. So how come everytime he's with me he tells me he wants to be with his grandma, father (we're separated), aunts etc.? It really hurts my feelings. He doesn't do this to anyone else when he's with them. For example today, I took him bike riding just me and him for a few hours. We had so much fun and bonded so much. We got home, I gave him a bath, read him a book and gave him a kiss goodnight. He then blurted out his daily, "I wanna go to Softa's (grandma) house." I just don't understand. I mean I'm a good mother and I do discipline fair. I don't abuse my child. I show plenty of love to him. Isn't a child supposed to be attached to his mother? I don't react when he tells me these things so he's not just saying it to get a reaction. I keep it to myself. I know it's sometimes normal for them to feel close to someone else, but this is crazy. He never wants to be around me, he's always complaining. Help!
2007-02-26 13:49:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
one more thing- he lives with me full-time. Thank you.
2007-02-26 13:50:48 · update #1
Thank you to everyone that answered. There were many of you that had very helpful answers that I can't pick myself. So I will let everyone else vote. Thanks again!
2007-02-28 10:26:10 · update #2
Ask them what thier routine is when he goes to bed. Might be that he is allowed to stay up later. Not that you should allow it. It's not that he is closer or loves them more, it's cause he wants to go go go.
He is with you most of the time so the little time they have with him they probably keep him very busy.
2007-02-26 16:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, dont not feel bad, i am a mother of a 12 and a 13 yr old and they went through the same thing at that age. All it is ,is that it's a change of environment and anything other than home seems better to a child because the grandparents ,aunts , etc are not there every day all day and they tend to let the child get away with more than the parent, and the child is old enough to see that. All he wants to do is go where he can be pampered and feel free to act anyway that he pleases because they still think whatever he does is cute and he like the praise. So be patient and will be just fine.
2007-02-26 14:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by zandra c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.....Um...Please examine your question. Do you notice how rediculous you sound? the newborn's 3 years previous. he's not meant to be a guy yet. he's a newborn. toddlers learn by using play. in case you proceed with the way you're elevating him, that damaging boy is going to have intense psycological subject concerns whilst he grows up. Intelligence is one subject, yet you will get no the place in existence with out love. and how you're treating him, whether you do love your son, he will advance up questioning which you do not; that he's not good sufficient for you, that he will by no skill have the skill to verify your standards, and he will despise you. i comprehend you do not prefer that. So permit the newborn be a newborn. coach him approximately 'becoming up' whilst he's older, whilst it is the splendid time. approximately 17 on the earliest...provide him of undertaking to make his own errors and learn from them. he will learn lots extra from that then he will you pounding those training into his head.
2016-10-16 13:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although every child is different (My 4 yr old always wants family visitors......Wheres grandpa, uncles, cousins...) I think its a phase they are going thru. Your doing the right thing by spending time, fun time with him and not getting mad. I always have to explain where everyone is and why they didnt come today, But I always say they will visit. Why not try saying "Oh, you get to see your father every Saturday and every Sunday - you lucky boy!" Or whatever the days are. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 13:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is doing this because he knows that this hurts you. He is probably hurting about the separation and wants to make you hurt too. Kids are smart even at this age. When he says these things say things like ok you can go there tomorrow and I am sure that you are going to have so much fun. Act like is doesn't even bother you and I bet you anything it will stop when he sees that it doesn't faze you. Good luck.
2007-02-26 13:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahh...just another lovely phase the little darlings evolve into.
I had my 3-year-old tell me that he hates me. I don't take him seriously, and neither should you with yours.
He feels safe and secure with you. He sees you as, "THE MOMMY". Lord and Guardian of his world. Everybody else, he sees as fun, different, a new experience.
At 3, they are masters of manipulation. They might not mean it, they're still test-driving their emotions, throwing things out and seeing what kind of results can be gotten from it. When mine tells me that he hates me, usually because I'll say 'no' to something or other. I'll tell him that I love him, with exaggerated emotion, and give him hugs and kisses. It'll make him laugh and he'll forget what he was mad about.
2007-02-26 17:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by CyberCop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think all kids go through this starting when they're three and four. I have three kids, and all three of them constantly want to be anywhere but at home with me. They want to go to Grandma's or the neighbor's, or go to the gym with their Dad. I think that as moms, we're comforting and always there for them, and they know that. So being with someone else is more exciting, you know, like when they're with Grandma and Dad, they get to have a sip of soda or a piece of candy, something that moms usually see as taboo. Wait until he's ill, or gets in trouble at school, or skins his knee, he'll not want to be anywhere but with you!
2007-02-26 14:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey sounds like my daughter maybe we should get them together since they always want to be away from us!! Just kidding but my three year old little girl does this to I think maybe they think they have options now that they are all grown up..LOL. It is a phase from what I have heard from other moms and this to will pass after some time. Good Luck and God Bless!!
2007-02-26 14:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to go because its different and exciting. If he lived with them he would be asking for you, its always the way, we always want what we cant/dont have at the time. Dont take it the wrong way, you sound like a great mother and maybe its just a phase.
2007-02-26 14:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt take it personally that he doesnt want to be around you as you say. He probably gets very spoiled at grandmas house lots of candy and staying up late . Just tell him you love him and hell see ggrandma soon. he will out grow it soon enough. He just needs to know you wont guve in to it. Also I would talk to them about his spoiling and have them stop it or see him less Its hurting your relationship
good luck
2007-02-26 13:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by Catie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋