Do other home schooling families encounter the same?

Question

I home school my 4 children (although 1 of them is not old enough, he will be following the footsteps of his siblings). I have heard an endless amount of negative things about home education on y/a and therefore i was hesitant to let on that i have made this decision, but in doing so i have found that the only negative feed back i got was from my own family, my own as well as in laws. People i meet in shopping centers or strike up a conversation with in the bank or at the park are actually very nice, they are interested and actually praise me for my efforts, and if i see them again i'm introduced as "that amazing lady who manages to raise 4 kids and home school them"....its a great feeling to be recognized for what your trying to accomplish. Why do my own family (mother/father/brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles and the like) only see the negative and refuse to listen to my side and see the benefits...my kids didn't get this amazing without me so obviously i'm doing something right....right

Answer 1

Hands down, the people that judge me the worst are my own relatives. I've been doing this for five years, and still, to this day, I receive nothing but judgment and criticism. Even at Thanksgiving this year, my husband's sister said to a table full of relatives, that it is such a shame that we are "doing this" to our kids.
Even though we discuss it, and I have tons of information (haha, lol) they don't listen. Oh, ok, they listen, but they do not hear me.
One reason? I come from a long background of teachers. tons of them, so I'm sure they feel it is a threat to them. Another reason is the "we're older and wiser" thing. My husband is the youngest, and I was always "the rebel." My family probably sees this as me rebelling against society, and my husband is (even at close to fifty) seen as being too young to understand the world around him, lol.
Another reason is they choose to believe the worst. Yes, there is lots of bad press out there, but they have a living breathing case study right in their family. Do they ask? No.
The hardest part of this and the part that bugs me the worst, is the negative impact our family has had on my children. These are their beloved grandparents, aunts and uncles, great aunt and uncles, cousins. They have been raised to love and respect them, so when they speak out against what I'm doing, they naturally begin to doubt themselves, the education they are receiving, my ability as a parent, so on and so forth. this past holiday season was the roughest yet, and it has had such a negative impact on my highschooler, that she will probably choose to return to the PS system.
all because some "well meaning" relatives that are "just interested in your education, sweetie" and that "just want to make sure" have been able to affect her in such a negative way.
My rambling point is, do not take their criticism lightly. Talk to them, be strong and courageous, and talk to your children as well.
I know these well meaning relatives are uninformed, closed minded judgmental naysayers, I just never told my kids that because I did not want them to lose respect for their relatives.
In the process, they lost respect for themselves and what they have achieved, and it's a long road back.

Answer 2

Family doesn't have to be polite. They feel they can voice their opinion in any manner they wish. My family is not happy that I have decided to homeschool. They think it is a phase that will pass if they keep reminding me they think it is a bad idea. My in-laws however are much more interested in finding out more about it, and more about why we are choosing to HS. I think part of that has to do with the fact that my DH and one of his cousins were quite gifted and the public schools failed them academically and socially.

With my family I try to stay off the topic unless they ask and if they start trying to turn it into a debate I let them know it is no longer up for discussion and change the subject. If that doesn't work I tell them I have other places to be and I leave. If we are at my house I tell them it is time to leave.

I don't find it very difficult, but I have always done things my own way and that has always been different than what my family thought was the RIGHT way. They still love me though.

Answer 3

Physiologically? Nothing. Actually, boys are boys and girls are girls. The results of public school and home school vary. So far in the 18+ years of our home-school we have noticed that public school children tend to have a very limited vocabulary -- often vulgar. Not all are like this. Many are polite and kind. Home-school children tend to be more respectful toward adults and more helpful to small children. They do not see age differences as obstacles. Home-schooled children have the same behavior problems as children in any educational setting. The benefit is in the fact that issues can be dealt with in a swift manner. Home-school children are less prone to become involved with anti-social behavior. Many public school teachers have told us that home-schooling is the best route to go! The teachers work hard in the schools and they do the best job they can with the resources and time that they are given. But they have many obstacles and hindrances along the way.

Answer 4

My mom and dad were very much against me homeschooling my two boys and, as for my siblings, they didn't really give me an opinion one way or another. My in-laws, on the other hand, are WAY into the homeschooling agenda. It wasn't until after I was taking my mom somewhere and my oldest was in the backseat of the car, talking. He then started reading all of the signs and the clocks (both digital and analog) out loud and asking all sorts of questions about the signs, establishments, yada yada yada. She was very impressed with how much he knew and it was an even bigger build up for me to have HER praise me and his journey in education. Her attitude changed and she brags and boasts about them and my dad is just amazed with all we have done and how far ahead we are compared to our public school system. And to be fair, my original hometown was the lowest of the low regarding public schooling.
And yes, I get the same. Things like socialization, are they really learning, and is it just because you don't want to get a REAL job. Homeschooling is hard work. Keep up the good work and if you have any questions or need any support, email me.

Answer 5

It sounds like you are doing an awesome job. I didn't really have any problems with family (I was homeschooled for the last two years of high school), but people that don't even know me have a problem with it. Really, it's none of your families' business. If they refuse to listen, you can't make them. My suggestion would be, when they bring it up just say something very vague about it, and then move on to another topic. If they insist on that topic, tell them that you don't have to listen to their negative comments, but if they would like information on what you are working on with your children, you'd be happy to share if they will keep their negative comments to themselves.
Just remember that you are doing a great job. Don't let anyone convince you that you are doing the wrong thing.

Answer 6

You are doing an EXCELLENT JOB! Your parents and in laws might comment on this way of education because,

1. They arent used to the fact that children can be homeschooled

2. They prefer children to go to school as they have a lot of faith in the school's rules and safety system (which I totally disagree on. Have you seen the number of murders and gangsterism and so forth increasing in all schools??)

3. They dont really have a clue on what type of education pattern that you are following and fear that your children (i.e. their grandchildren, nephews and/or neices) will be brought up with irrellevant education or unsuitable education.

I for one, can understand the problems you face as well as the fears your family members have. Firstly, to teach is not an easy matter, what more, to handle 4 children! Being an educator, I have to face a class of 12 children, of whom, I must understand their abilities, their behaviours, their studying capabilities,... But, if you enjoy teaching, especially with the recommended guidelines, I will tell you this, GO ON WITH IT.

However, to tackle ur family matters, its best to get both mothers (i.e. ur mom n ur mom in law) involved while teaching the children. When they are involved, they willl understand the education system that you follow and how well it works.

Yet, bear dis in mind,... I have met many students who have been homeschooled, and come up with amazing grades. Yet, when they are let off into the open world, they tend to shun away from the public or they tend not to understand the demands made by the society or the working community. This is a problem that you will have to find the answer to,... I would suggest to let ur kids work during the 'school holidays'... :)

Enjoy!!

Answer 7

Most people feel that home-school takes your children away from society and believe that your kids have no friends. This is what your family must be mainly hearing. How long have you been home-schooling? It took a couple years before my grandparents finally accepted that we were home-schooling(I think it helped that we went to a home-schooling thing where we were with a lot of friends). Just remember that they DO mean well, but just don't understand. :)

Answer 8

My family and my husbands family didn't like the idea of homeschooling when we began. Mainly because they are very liberal and don't understand our problems with the school system and modern culture. Since they have gotten use to the idea, they have been tolerant, but the stereotypes come out. I know that the benefits of homeschooling are downplayed in their eyes by the opinion that we are just crazy religious fanatics.

Answer 9

Your family has a far greater interest in how your children turn out than do the people you meet while shopping. It's fear and a desire to truly be heard that cause their reactions. See through their negativity to the emotions they have behind the negativity and spend more time letting them know that you really understand their fears than the time you spend trying to defend your decision.

Answer 10

My little brother is being "home schooled" and honestly, this is my opinion of why people feel somewhat negative towards homeschooling..

I think home school is great for some kids, however for a lot of kids being "home schooled", it's just a way for them to drop out of school without any repercussions from the state. That is basically what has happened with my little brother, and I think it's becoming all to common.

Some kids actually do really well being home schooled however, and I don't think that people should base their opinion of it off of what home schooling means to other people.