Why don't parents spank their children anymore?

Question

I'm sure anyone who's seen these "Nanny shows" on television like Nanny 911 and Super-Nanny knows what I'm talking about. All this talk about "naughty spots" etc. etc. It makes me so frustrated because I just want to tell the parents on there: "You don't need a television show to fix your child. Just grab a belt and give them a good spanking and they settle down. Parents have been doing it all through history, and guess what? It works. So why don't parents seem to want to give spankings anymore? Has our entire society just gone soft? I fear for the future when I see all these pansy children growing up without a parent willing to take charge. Our prisons are going to be overrun with people who had no idea there are consequences for your actions. My parents spanked me and I love them for it. Discuss please.

Answer 1

YES, our entire society has gone soft, 95% of all Americans (disgraceful fact) are so apathetic that if you put them in a situation that is morally wrong and say to (for example) force the persons hand onto a shock plate then push the switch causing them to die you would do so on the orders of a powerful appearing person you had never met in your life before (this was an experiment conducted to see if Germans were mentally different because of actions at the holocaust). Americans in this study proved to be the MOST apathetic nation in the world as a first world country. Thus to your question the television is GOD and no matter what it says or how it says what it says the message is (at least partially) conveyed. As such if a show tells parents to use a corner rather than physical violence it is what will occur.

Also spanking (or other forms of physical punishment) of a child is child abuse that has proved to increase the chance of specific mental dificiencies by up to 20%. Thus your answer not so much in a nut shell but in a simple number of sentences.

Answer 2

Most parents DO still spank. Furthermore, several of those parents on the nanny shows spanked their kids (I recall seeing at least a couple do it on camera) and yet, their kids were still so out of control that they had to call Supernanny to come help them. I really think it seems like most parents nowadays can't just find a good balance. Some parents are extremely soft/permissive and let their kids get away with murder and don't punish them at all. But there are plenty of parents on the other end of the extreme who just scream at their kids all day long, smack them around, and don't actually spend time with them or have any positive interaction. Kids don't respond to either of these kinds of parents. Again, you just need to find a balance. I absolutely do not agree with you that you should hit a kid with a belt whenever they do something wrong. That is abuse. A non-abusive spanking is 1-3 swats on the bottom with nothing but your hand. And even that should not be your first option. If you are going to use it, it should be the last resort, and I do certainly think it's possible to raise good kids without spanking. You just have to make sure to use some kind of discipline and be consistent, and still be firm when needed and not just act like your child's friend.

Answer 3

I certainly will when I have children, but under some circumstances. I'll give a brief overview of what my discipline regimen will be like with my children. This idea was actually a system within a school I volunteered at, and I thought it would be wonderful to adapt it to home life. The idea is a card chart, with colored and laminated cards (construction paper) that will go in a plactic folder under the child's name. When a certain behavior is performed, the card may be switched with another of a different color. These are the colors, and the first mentioned will be what the kids start on, and so on. Green: This means that the child is on good behavior. If it stays that way all day for a week, they get a little dollar store prize. Yellow: This is a warning. It tells the child that they have done something wrong, and I'll talk to them about it, so they should watch it. If they stay mostly on green, with only a few yellow cards all day for a week, they get one piece of penny candy. Orange: This means that they have either repeated behavior they were told about which turned them to yellow, or they have done something potentially harmful to others, or got in a verbal fight. The child will be put in a time-out for as many minutes as they have years of life, then they will be talked to about what they did. Red: This means they have done something easily harmful to themselves (ie. Running out into the street) or of the same equality to others. They wil be scolded, and given a spanking with only my hand, over all clothing. They will then also be put in time out as they go over what they did, and why it was wrong. If they get a toy from someone else, within the week of the spanking, it will be withheld for one week, so they don't get the impression that they are being rewarded for bad behavior. In my perspective, spanking is never a bad thing. So long as it's used for pure discipline, and not sheer anger. It should also not be used with a switch, belt, or object other than a hand. When they have seriously put themselves or others in danger, a time-out won't cut it. They ould need to be repremanded immediately, and sometimes, spanking is the only option to discipline at the level of the crime. Spanking out of discipline isn't abuse. It's discipline. Spanking out of anger and with a foreign object is more on the abusive side.

Answer 4

I remember a particularly nasty fight my dad and I had over a monthly writing assignment. These fights were actually the reason I avoided this homework, but that's another conversation. It was sometime during that fight, while I was speaking rationally and calmly (consciously making an effort to almost whisper so it couldn't be called shouting). Spanking had become ineffective years ago, as I realized that it was only momentary and I would be sent to my room, so he decided to escalate to the belt he used to get as a child. I finally realized that night that it had absolutely nothing to do with correcting my behavior, he was literally lashing out because he was angry and frustrated. I was just afraid of the big angry man in the kitchen, and I was even hyperventilating; I had to wear sweats to gym to hide the bruise. From that day on, that's always the image that comes to mind whenever someone says "this kid just needs a good spanking". Who knows? Maybe if I'd seen some sort of rationality in his discipline, I would have been more obidient.

Answer 5

I was spanked as a child (judiciously) and I think I turned out pretty good. However, I do think that spanking can also be the lazy man's way to discipline and that it can be ineffective if done too much. There are other things that, if done consistently (key word) are just as, if not more so, effective as spanking. There is the danger of the macho-ism of spanking (look at me big tough parent kind of attitude) and an over-domineering type of parenting that creates children that are unachievers who hide a lot of anger (believe me, I'm from the South where spanking is an honored way of raising kids----I have seen it backfire pretty badly!).

You've got to be careful that you're not just lashing out at your kids with quick anger but that you're specifically trying to teach them something---especially when it comes to safety. Spanking kids takes the least amount of intelligence when it comes to discipline and so it's an easy response to misbehaving kids, but alternative ways should also be tried. Most of us have the brains to do it.

Answer 6

Well parents are afraid of the consequences. Just like now a days children will threaten the parents with calling the police on them for hitting them. I find it ridiculous. But then again if they are strict onthe child from a young age they wont need all that.
I was strict on my duaghter at a young age and she wont act up now. There is no naughty spot but taking away things help.

I don' think you should hit your kids because that certainly isn't teaching them to trust you it is teaching them to be afraid ofyou. I dont watn my children to be afraid of me.
They are scared enought of getting yelled at if they do something wrong.

My mom never spanked me and maybe i needed it but...that is a whole other story.

I guess i may have spanked a few times but the older they get hte less i would spank and the less i would have to spank...

Answer 7

I just wonder why almost everyone refuse to spank their kids when really bad. In many cases, the children must know that they should not have done the wrong things? If they know, why should we forgive them and said "don't do that next time"? If spanking will lead to thier violence behaviour, I also want to say forgive them by teaching them a lesson will also mislead them they will be forgiven by everyone when they are wrong.

Sometimes, they are out of control and even worst. Honestly, how many of you can control the behaviour of your kids without the spanking? I read from one mother's passage. She believe in pants and underwears down spanking. It is the most efficient way. And I strongly agree with her. Honestly, I was spanked in the same way when I was really bad before 10. I turn out really good now. I still love my parents. I understand I really hate spanking by my mum. However, do u you what is the meaning of punishment? Punishment is something u will be given that u really don't want to have or given when u fail to do sth or not behave well. If u enjoy it, how come it is a punishment? It is an award.

I was spanked with my pants down when I was really bad until 9. I think it really works for me. Because when I want to do sth wrong, I must think carefully the result. If I hate spanking with my pants down, I need to stop.

So everybody, try to think it deeply. To have a good kid, sometimes spanking is needed.

Answer 8

My parents definetely spank me and it really help me to be who I'm, because every kid is rebellious when there are younger and if you don't show them who is boss they will ran all over you're ***, both mom and dad. What you need to decide is when spanking them is necessary and when to do it. Not just when, but please don't spank them like animals, because I believe that you are a human being, or you? Know one thing, that kids are smarter than adults and get smarter every year they are born, so try to out smart them rather than spanking them. Be smart not dump! I hate child abusers! Oh, the TV is not the nanny or the aswer to your child.

On your behalf, as a parent, spend as much time as you can with your child besides the necessary work time. Your kids act bad because you don't spend time with them. Love them and show it!

Answer 9

I am with you 100%. My parents spanked me and I thank them for it. kids need to be spanked, it has worked for hundreds of years. and most of the greatest figures of history were spanked as kids.
the problems is that the government has given to much power to the kids. they have taught the kids that they can call the police if they do not get treated exactly the way they want. if there is any discipline at all the kids can call 911. this has scared many parents so the parents let the kids run wild. then there are the "experts" like those on TV that think you should be the child's Friend, and not a parental figure.

Answer 10

Well when I was young my parent's beat the living sh*t out of me for things I had not done, my father would for no reason walk past me & slap me hard around the side of my head blowing my ear drum on my left side once leaving me partially deaf in that ear, he said it was for something I did wrong that he never caught me for!

Because of the way I was bought up I could not smack my own children, but I had to stop my X wife from beating them when I felt it was enough punishment.

I believe taking privledges away has a far bigger impact than violence, & it gives them reason to realise that taking away from them say tv for a few days, & stick to it without giving in, is painful but not to their health or mental status when they are adults.

Its the way a parent brings up their children is what is making so much out of order in the youth today, smacking them is an excuse to escape from the reality of parenting & passing on love instead of hate.