English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

After we broke up my ex said we would still be friends. He would still talk to me and hang out with me and our friends. But then he started to avoid me. It's gotten to the point where I'll walk up to our friends and he'll just turn his back on me. He won't even look at me. He dosn't talk to me at all. He won't go to any of the after school clubs we were both in before either, and won't tell his best friend why he decided to quit. We had a pretty mutual break up, he just didn't want to be with me anymore and I didn't plan on staying in a relationship where I wasn't wanted. I never did anything to hurt him. He has told me he dosn't love me anymore and that he never wants to be with me again over e-mails so I know he dosn't have feelings for me. So why can't he just be my friend? I'm not trying to get him back, but it makes things kind of weird when hes avoiding me and I don't want to lose a friend. Maybe I can fix it if I know why hes being like this. Any ideas?

2007-02-26 13:09:12 · 4 answers · asked by Simple Love 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

4 answers

I believe that it is possible for males and females to be friends afterwards and that ex-boyfriends make THE BEST FRIENDS.

However, I am surprised that he broke up with you and HE offered friendship, much less was able to act like a friend in the beginning. I've found that it's usually guys who have their d*cks on their brains for ever after and can't get past that to a platonic relationship.

What his particular problem is, I have no clue. I think it is possible that he still has feelings and finds it hard to be "just friends" after all. He could be regretting his choice. He could be surprised that you're taking his proposed arrangement so well and/or being so friendly towards him.

Maybe there's someone in your friendship circle that he's interested in, has the hots for and feels uncomfortable or guilty pursuing her in front of you. Maybe he also no longer wants to be friends with you, but doesn't have the courage or the guts to say so, so he runs.

The only way to know for sure is to ask and apparently he's not talking, as well he's starting to run away when you show up.

It's not your fault. He's in the driver's seat here, so you won't ever be able to fix this and shouldn't waste your time trying. It's his guilt/discomfort/rejection behavior and that's not your fault either.

Let him run. It's all HIS stuff, not yours. The best thing you can do right about now is to continue to just BE YOURSELF in his presence and out of it--be calm, collected, comfortable, engaging with your friends. Let HIM figure out a way to face you when you meet. Let his conscience bother HIM; not you. Don't you be responsible for his "stuff" bc you're not.

You can't be friends with someone who clearly doesn't want to be and you shouldn't force it or squander time or energy. You also shouldn't blame yourself. You're clearly pretty blameless here.

Again,YOU can't ever "fix: this, but he can. It's not in your power OR within your responsibility to fix this, it's his. I know it's hard, but this is one of those mysteries you just have to let go of.

2007-02-26 13:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

if you guys were friends before he became your boyfriend then things are never going to be the same as they were. even f you guys weren't friends -then being in a relationship, you cant just be friends and anyways why would you want someone to be your friend that is TRYING to avoid you

2007-02-26 21:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by ashley 1 · 0 0

sorry honey but you can never be friends with an ex simply for the fact that you were in love or even just liked him more than likely on an intimate level! sorry babbe but move on! he is!!!!!

2007-02-26 21:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by RebeccaAnne 2 · 0 0

maybe he has realized that he really likes u still just cuz they say it a boy doesnt mean it boys r jerks like that u just give him his space he will get over it

2007-02-26 21:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by mdmel 3 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers