How can I gain confidence?

Question

I need to be a more confident person I find it hard to make friends and to do presentations at college. In fact I can't do them at all I have panic attacks and shake like mad. And also I need more confidence in my image as well cause even though I dress nice do my hair and make up nicely and try to eat healthy, I still can't stand my mirror image! I am 17 and don't want to stay like this all my life so any help?

I also self harm and occasionally make my self sick. I have been badly bullied in the past and let down alot by people I've tried trusting.

Answer 1

I think if you concentrate on what you are doing, rather than what other people think, then you will start to feel more confident. Confidence comes from within, you could wear old clothes and be confident, so you should, worry less about what you look like... Be proud of who you are and except who you are.
As for presentations or public speaking, no one likes to do it but everyone has to do it in life, did you know, that the panic attacks (shortness of breath) and the shaking, everyone goes through that, when it comes to speaking in front of an audience, its like ridding a bike for the first time, its nerve racking but once you get back up there and keep practicing you get better.
I don't think you lack confidence, i think you are beating yourself up because you look at other people and think to yourself why cant i do that, or be like them, just realise that you are unic and that you can do anything anyone else can, with lots of practice, and start loving and excepting yourself, BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE AND IF YOU CANT TRUST IN ANYONE ELSE AT LEAST GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO TRUST IN YOURSELF... I wish you all the best..

Answer 2

Well it is all up to you to change. Im younger than you and i have the same problems but, don't have panick attacks. It helps if you have someone on the sideline while you find the confidence in yourself. Also, it can help more than you believe to be more out there while trying to find friends. It will be very hard but in order for others to be friend you. You need to find inside of you what you are looking for. Some self reflection could help a bit. I hope you find what you are seeking but remeber it will take time to get where you want to be. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

You probably know what kind of answers you will get, here are some:
- believe in yourself
- you are your own critic
- you have invisible audience, that is you think everyone's focusing on you.. so stop that
- try to make friends by being friendly, like smile a lot
- try to start conversations, which practices your social skills
- if you're really determined to change, try seeking for a professional help, your school is mostly likely to have one... they're confidential and free

im the same way, i found that the only way to cope with those is to get out of my comfort zone, it's hard but im getting there... you will too if you're take actions

Answer 4

get some good weed. medical marijuana is the best, but you probably won't qualify for it until you are 18. i have had problems with being nervous, and having anxiety attacks for years, and medical weed is the only thing that i found that completely relaxes me. you don't have to smoke it all the time, but after you smoke a few times, you will see how it feels to be relaxed and confident. real confidence comes from inside, but marijuana can be a good tool to unlock it. you need to love yourself first. then, you won't be as concerned with what other people think. for me, medical weed is the only thing i have ever tried in my life that helps me with anxiety.