My girlfriend and I have a (usually) very happy relationship, care for each other a great deal and have been together for 4 months.
Recently she's been feeling bad and usually I will talk with her and try to make her feel better. This time she's been sad for a couple of days, for various reasons (not all to do with me) - but she also feels unsure that I want her. I have told her already that I do and I'm not certain if she believes it yet as she's asked a few times.
The main problem is that I like to be there for her, but these past few days have been frustrating and she thinks that it will be better for me if she doesn't tell me when she feels bad. She wants to keep all the bad things to herself so nobody else has to see when she feels blue.
Is it healthy for her to do this, and what can I do to help her and make her feel better?
2007-02-26 12:32:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She seems to be suffering from depression and a lack of self esteem. Usually the episodes last a few hours to days and sometimes more severe depression can last for months.
When someone we care about is going through a state of depression it can be frustrating, not knowing what to do or say makes us a little uneasy ourselves. Try sending her a card and letting her know that you care for her and are there when she needs to talk. Give her a little space and see if that helps. If the depression seems to be getting more frequent or lasting for more than a couple of days, suggest she see a counselor. If she would like you could even go to the first session with her. Also, journaling might help her to just release some of the bad thoughts.
She is lucky to have a boyfriend who is caring and understanding and who wants to be there. I am sure after a little time she will be back to her old self and thank you for your support and patience.
Best of luck to you both. :)
2007-02-26 12:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Atropabelladonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my gf is sorta like that 2 ( i am 14 and so is she). just keep on persisting to know whats wrong and she will give in. i think this is a trust problem so think back and see if you can find something that you screwed up on trust wise. this may b why she is trying to hide when she feels sad from you. other than that she might just not want to feel weak in your presence if that makes any sense lol. well i hope i helped.
2007-02-26 12:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!
You're her bf so it's your job to be there for her, even if she insist that she don't want you to know (mostly it's a trap) and you should just always be by her side. Just don't be so pushy about it, and do it in your own sweet little ways to let her know that shes "loved". You shouldn't prove to her anything, just let your actions speak for itself by doing sweet little things. Bring her a flower you pick of the garden,....bring her her favorite candy when yu see her, offter to give her a massage to relax her....whatever it may be. Just let her feel shes loved by you don't just sit there and ask WAHTS THE MATTER...cause there is nothing you can do....acknowledge she is upset and just make her feel like even if everythin else is wrong...at least one thing is going right...
2007-02-26 12:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by ALoNe & DiStRaUghT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is what i honestly think, but keep in mind im 16 and currently been in a relationship for 11 months. my situation could be very different from yours
a) this is VERY normal for her to do this and feel like this
b) if she doesnt want to tell you and she strongly thinks that she probably does feel that its best for you not to know. you dont need to know whats going on to be there for her.
c) dont tell her you love her too much. make sure she knows it, but hearing it too much is like someone tellingyou theyre sorry twice a day, you start to not believe it.
d) i know girls get frustrating sometimes but just hold on. in the end its so much more worth it.
e) the key is patience. just be there for her IF she needs someone to talk to, shes a big girl and she doesnt NEED you to drag information out of her. just make sure she knows your there and make sure she FEELS [ not knows ] that you love her and care for her alot.
good luck
2007-02-26 12:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by braineak123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say you should give your love and tell her not to keep things to herself because its not good. you should be there for your girlfriend because if you weren't there for her then she'll really want to keep stuff from you. don't let it get to that point and tell her that i will always be there and protect you from harms way.i hoped that this helped a bit.
2007-02-26 12:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by shy boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she's depressed and may need someone to talk to professionally. keeping you out of it only isolates her even more. see if you can convince her to get some help.
2007-02-26 12:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by rainyday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her do what she wants to do she will snap out of it soon enough she knows herself and knows how to cope that is why she told you that .lol
2007-02-26 12:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your gf some space & see if things get better.
2007-02-26 12:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by Angela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell her you want to help if you can but your not going to push her but when she is ready to tell you you are there for her and will listen and will try to help in anyway you can and if she will let you.
2007-02-26 12:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by betty m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋