No gifts please....just cash?

Question

I'm going to be getting married next year and my fiance and I already have everything we NEED to set up our household. The only thing we don't have a house to set it up in. Is there any way to let people know that we don't need things, but that money--to put towards a down payment on a house--would be so appreciated, without causing a fiasco and offending everyone? Please help!

Answer 1

Hi I'm also getting married and i have been stressed by the exact same situation i have decided to attach a note in the invitations saying " as we have been blessed to have everything for our home we prefer montary gifts, thank you for your understanding and god bless" you don't have to let them know what the money is for i think that would more offend people. good luck

Answer 2

I hear this question asked a lot and the truth is that it's just plain rude to ask for money and there's no way around it. Chances are you may have a lot of things you need, but not everything, and even so, you could register for things that you don't need but that would be really nice to have anyway. Getting that much cash is a nice thought, but it's not the right thing to do to request is, and chances are you will receive a good amount of cash anyway. Use what you do get toward a downpayment, but guests are coming to your wedding to share your day with you and not to give you a downpayment....that's something we normally have to save for. Good luck.

Answer 3

My hubby and I lived together for a year before we got married so we accumulated everything we needed (except a toaster, i still need one). We had a big wedding with a ton of gifts, what we did was return all the gifts we didn't need and got gift cards instead. We used the gift cards for everyday stuff like groceries, etc. and when we bought something with the gift cards we would take that amount out of checking and put it in savings Like if groceries cost $35.00 I would put that amount in savings. Were still using gift cards to buy groceries and we've been married 8 months and bought a house in December with the money we "exchanged" for our gift cards.

I wanted to ask for money instead of gifts too but everyone told me that it was rude.

I know its kinda ghetto but since we knew we would be returning almost everything we only registered at Target and Wal-Mart that way we could get groceries/ everyday things with the gift cards.

Answer 4

No, there is no way to do this. If you don't want ANY gifts, that is okay to say so politely, but NOT that you want money instead.
Most people are totally grateful to get whatever gifts people choose to give for the wedding; you must realize that guests done "have to" give a gift, most choose to - to help out the young couple starting out. It's not their fault you have all the stuff already.
Save on your wedding expenses and put that money towards the house yourselves.

Answer 5

there is no way to ask this. you dont ask for anything because that is pretty much like saying you expect a gift and thats rude. if people want to give a gift then they will. if they want to give money they will. even if you tell them its for a house that still looks like your saying "please come to my wedding but help me buy my house" if you need a house then forget the wedding and use the money towards a down payment. or dont buy the stuff to set up a house if you dont have one to put it in. if people come out and ask family member then they can tell them your saving for a home and maybe these people will give money, but other then that be greatful for what you get.

Answer 6

LOL. I know the feeling but as one person told me, they would rather give a gift than be "judged" on the amount of money they gave. I told them that wouldn't happen but the fear still lingered.

My plan, return items that we know A) we won't use or have no need of B) the person won't be that offended if they find out and/or C) know that the person will never be around to see if the gift was used (i.e. my uncle on the East coast).

You might casually mention you would prefer money. That might cut down on the gifts, but I wouldn't make the money an outright demand.

Fact is, even if you ask for just money, you'll still get gifts (ask my sister) so work with what you have and just be sure to be courteous with everything.

Answer 7

I have heard people requesting $ for a downpayment. Maybe ask the same question in the etiquette section to get ideas on how to pull it off. If you get gifts with receipts, return for cash.


Maybe not that in lieu of registering, the couple has requested cash gifts to buy a house.

Answer 8

Asking for cash is tacky. My husband and I didn't need anything either, but we were getting ready to remodel, so we registered with Home Depot.

We didn't get anything from our registry, but we got over 1000 in Home Depot gift certificates. Along with a lot of cash

However, if you don't register, people will probably just write a check, it's easier.

Answer 9

You really cannot ask for cash. That is truly incredibly tacky. The only thing you really can do is to have your 2 moms spread the word that you guys are trying to save for a house, and plant the seed that way, but outright asking for money is in poor taste.

Answer 10

we too dont need anything i have been out of the house for 12 years and we have lived to gether for 3 years. so the parents are telling anyone that asks we would like gift cards to home depot, menards and stores like for our new house we are in the middle of buying. ( We would like to get a new stove, dishwasher and fridge for the new house.)

Answer 11

that is the most tacky thing you can possibly do. You just do not ask people for money as a gift. There is not correct way to do it because you simply should not do it. You might as well sell tickets instead of sending invitations.