My mom left me and my sister and stepdad.....?

Question

I am 15 & almost 7 mos ago my mom left my 14 yr old sis & my stepdad& me to take care of her sick dad. But he isnt gettin any better & my aunts& grandma are the ones takin care of my grandpa & my mom stays at a guy friends house all the time. she wasnt ever a good mom( she was mentally abusive I i would always have to walk on eggshells around her to keep her from flippin out on me.) I am a 4.0 student & do excellent in school but ever since my mom left i have had to take over all the responsibilities of my mom. I cook, clean the house, do the laundry b/c my stepdad and sister wont do it. Its not the fact that i have to do it, its just so stressful keeping up with home responibilities &school ones. my mom has me, my 22 yr old sis, & my lil sis. She has never been there for us like most parents are. i know she smokes pot & she has been messing around w/ the friend she is staying w/ but my stepdad seems oblivious to it & doesn't want to start drama.Wat to do? i cant take much more of it!

Answer 1

Awwww, Honey......I know from personal experience exactly how you are feeling. Congratulations on the 4.0. That is awesome. I know that this probably sounds trite, but please see your school counselor, or a favorite teacher if you don't have a counselor, and tell them exactly what you have told us. There is counseling available for you and your family. It sounds as if your Dad just doesn't want to face the issues, and the siblings are not doing as well as you.

Please get some help, and let us know how you are doing. You are in my prayers.

Answer 2

Oh sweety, you sound like you are under so much stress, that is not good for your health. I suggest you seek some counseling. Try to get your family to attend if they are willing. If not please do so yourself. Many schools have counselors. If yours does, that is a place to start. If not, then perhaps you can talk to your doctor and ask for a referral.

I was the oldest and only girl in my family. I did much of the cooking and taking care of my younger brother though my father was there. Noone told me I had to do it, but I just did it and they accepted it. At some point I realized this was not fair and stopped. It caused problems and I could have handled it better.

Perhaps you can sit down with your step dad and sister and discuss dividing up the chores while your mother is away. You live in the home and should contribute but its not all your responsiblity. Also since your mother has a drug problem, Alanon might help you. Ask your counselor or doctor about this group. As far as your mom being unfaithful, its a horrible example, but its your stepdads problem, do not get involved in their relatioship.




Good luck young lady. You are going through stress for sure, but you seem very strong and can get through it. But do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Answer 3

There really is nothing more you can do. You sound very smart and mature for your age. Like you said your mom is mentally abusive and I'm very sorry for you and your sister to have to live with someone like that. You have taken on much responsibility. Please remember what you wrote "She has never been there for us" so it really is no different right now. It may be a little easier for you not to have to deal with her abuse. Your step dad is most likely not oblivious to what your mom is doing but prefers not to confront it. Is your step father a good person? If so, be thankful that you have him there with you. If not, seek help at your church, a friends parent or a school counselor. You have a bright future ahead of you and going through these tough times will only make you a stronger person when you get older :)

Answer 4

Your mother is a lost cause so you won't get help from there. Try talking to your stepfather, he sounds like he cares for people. Tell him of your problems and say you need to excel at school and there is no way you can continue to do everything around the house. Tell him that he needs to support you and to get your sister to pitch in as well. The other option would be to talk to someone at the school but this brings outsiders into the situation which you might not want. Last, just stop doing everything and maybe they will notice no food on the table, no clean clothes or dishes and wake up to themselves

Answer 5

ok at the starting up, i imagine you said precisely the right portion of your sister. someone needs to inform your mom, and it will be extra appropriate for you in the journey that your sister did the speaking. yet she's already said her position in this hasn't she. Now as for her telling you that you'll't tell, and that she will be in a position to bare all of your dirty little secrets and techniques is only a manipulative bluff. as well, what ought to you've probable performed it really is worse than what your sister did with the doorstep dad? you should also comprehend that none of that is of your making. it is your sister and step dad who did this to you and your mom, no longer any incorrect way round. Plus this isn't a burden that you need to be anticipated to carry. you would not be betraying your sisters trust because she has shown she has no trust herself. trust isn't a birthright. it really is a few thing it really is earned, and your sister has made the genuine of the record of belongings you could do to betray your mom and your household, so get that theory out of your head. If I were you, i'd get on the phone for your mom, and declare an emergency, and characteristic her hightail it residing house pronto. the actual shown truth that the doorstep dad is wandering around the residing house inebriated is reason sufficient, and that is all you want tell her until eventually she receives residing house and in the front of you. i imagine you and your sister favor to depart the residing house now (yet in effortless words with your mom's expertise and consent) and pass to a relied on buddy, neighbour, or relative until eventually your mom can get residing house and take cost of the topic.

Answer 6

Can you talk to a teacher or school counselor?? Or a Pastor of a church? They could probably give you some good advice and know where you can get help with this problem. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your doing a great job. I'm sorry for you, but make sure your school work doesn't fall behind, train your sister so you don't have to do so much for her. I feel your pain. If it gets to much look up family services in the phone book. You have a big responsibility and your doing a great job. I'll pray for you. You gotta have faith.

Answer 8

move in with some one else. i had the same problem. my mom was abusive too and then she left and my dad wasnt doing a very good job so i moved in with my aunt. im 14. you should ask your step dad and he should trust you since your a strait A student and stuff. =]

Answer 9

Talk to your school counciler...(I know I spelled that wrong) but anyway...that would be the person who could probably help and talk to you!

Answer 10

i THINK you should be patient of that...you're a good student right?i respect to you...you must think as a best student.takean action as a best student too...find the councelor..it the best way..from me.best of luck..!!