Hazel was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl.
She decided she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and
made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden someone, she called
her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman.
The doctor told her, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Hazel was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.
2007-02-26 10:55:01 · 49 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
you've seriously got the best jokes. star from me!
2007-02-26 11:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Diamante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, a bit cruel again but still kinda funny!!.
gosh i hope there are no 93 y/o women on here!!
there has to be a blonde joke there!
ok the blonde who shot herself in the head and missed her brain by three feet??!!
I know an even better oap joke
try this:-
How about the aged couple (mid to late 60"s) that decide to get married after losing their respective spouses to death, and then move to Florida. As they are are talking through the sharing of household expenses and other miscellaneous things (they're) both relatively well off with each one having retirement income), Jane asks Harold what they should do about their own houses."Well, we ought to each sell our homes and then we can each put half the purchase price into our new home." Harold then asks Jane what she'd like to do about the grocery bills and she says "Neither one of us eats very much, so maybe we ought to split that bill on a monthly basis." to which she agrees. Then what about the utility bill? Same sharing response. Then Jane asks Harold what he wants to do about the sex thing, and he replies "Oh, infrequently" and she says "Harold, was that one or two words?"
LOL??!!
2007-02-27 07:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
awesome. a salesclerk knocked on the door of a house in a clean housing progression and a lady answered the door. He began, "Ma'am, i'm promoting the most up-to-date innovation in vacuums, that is the right little gadget I absolutely have considered in a lengthy time period," and with that, he proceeded to unload on her new carpet a blend of ketchup, salsa, airborne dirt and mud, grape juice, etc. as she watched, horrified. He said, "If this vacuum would not freshen up that mess, i am going to eat it!" She said, "do you want a fork?! we've not were given the means on yet!"
2016-12-05 00:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by korniyenko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aye not bad, 8 out of 10 for it
2007-02-26 10:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by Alistair B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey! I posted this a while ago! You best get flapping those fairy wings & catch up, fairy gal! You owe me some royalties for copying it! I'll expect my bag of Space Raiders in the post! ;)
Ps:
It still made me laff, so you can still have your *!
;)
J
2007-02-27 00:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Jay A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That could very well have been my granny!! Tragic, of course, but funny nevertheless, because of the image in my head when reading it.
2007-03-02 04:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by unanski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
swing low eh 10/10
2007-02-27 08:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your on a roll girl keep it up 10/10
2007-02-27 00:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol 10/10
2007-02-26 11:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by Rod Stewart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this reminds me of a song!
do your boobs hang low
do they go down to da flo
can you tie em in a knot
can you tie em in a bow
very amusing joke!
2007-02-26 11:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋