what to do with an alcoholic parent that is a senior?

Question

I am almost 40 and my dad acts like he is the kid. I have 2 kids of my own. He does not understand why i never visit. I dont have the extra money he always asks for. That is the only reason he calls me. And i dont want my children to remember grandpa in a can of beer. I screen my phone calls cuz i am afraid it will be him. He inherited alot of money a few years ago and that is all gone. He has no money for food. I feel for him but i can not help him. I love him and dont want to seem selfish but what else can i do?
He has no interests beside sitting and drinking. Walking is a no go in his book. He has put enoough miles on his legs. I took him once to see my son play baseball and he pissed his pants cuz his legs have enough miles on them. I dont want to deal with this and i dont know how to deal with this. Any help would be wonderful.

Answer 1

Your father is ill. He seriously can't do anything about his situation without help. He will also need to want to beat his addiction.

This situation is harmful for you and your kids... they are your first priority.

As hurtful as it may be for him, you need to be cruel to be kind.

Print out information about beating alcoholism along with contact details of people that can help him. Explain to him that you cant visit or let him have anything to do with your kids till he cleans up.

These sites may be helpful for your dad
http://www.rehabilitation-program.com/alcohol/
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash
Get him to take some of the quizes here:
http://www.mhsanctuary.com/tests/alcotest.htmThey may help him realize his problem.

and this site may be helpful for you
http://www.aamolly.org.uk/drinkers.html

Good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like you've already made the right decision. Explain to your father that you love him but you will not tolerate his behaviour and you have to put the welfare of your kids first.

It's neither your responsability nor within your ability to rescue him.