OK. My fiance has a child under the age of 1 that he didnt know about till about 6 months ago. He has only saw it a couple times, due to the mother, and he is now paying child support & insurance, about $200.00 a WEEK. and we have it REALLY rough right now with money & this weekend we had all of $10 bucks to spend, and he is willing to give up rights and all, since he dont even see the kid. And i feel like it will be better for the kid in the long run so it doest go from house to house. and NO this isnt the reason why he wants to give up rights, but will he have to still continue to pay child support? we are young and dont know what to do. who does he talk with about giving his full rights up?? PLEASE someone help out and answer back.
2007-02-26 10:04:30 · 11 answers · asked by sweety pie <3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Whether he sees the child or not, he still will be forced to support the child financially. I know that this is a hard situation and alot of men find themselves in this situation. Time does pass and the child does grow up. The best thing you can do is to support him and encourage him to be a good dad and be involved with his child. The child's feelings matter more than the money does.
2007-02-26 10:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kyle 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I feel that since you have called this child "it", this is truly about the money. I would never put a price on my child life and would pay whatever I had to to have a realationship with my child. I believe than any man or woman that can look into his childs eyes and turn his or her back on them truly is a heartles person. This child will go through so much knowing his or her dad turned his back on them for $200 a week. I think the best thing this guy could do it grow up, and use proctection in the future. You may want to make sure of that as well so you do not find yourself in this same situation.
2007-02-26 14:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't give up the rights to your kid...you may regret it one day. Wow...200/wk? I get 150/wk for my daughter and her dad has her usually 3 days out of the week. You need to find out the sate laws of where you live in so find an attorney or someone and get some help.
Get time with the child. Know the child and love the child....it's not the child's fault he/she is in this world so don't you think it
deserves all the love it needs?
Have your fiance look into his child's eyes...really look and convince himself he does not want to be a part of his/her life. Any man who can turn away on his own flesh and blood is a jerk. Maybe you should not be worried about the 10 dollars you had and the 2 of you change your lives to improve the modification of having a child around.
If he is such a horrible person who can easily turn his back then give up the rights and let a real man be able to step in and be a father and daddy. Any man can be a father and produce a child......it takes a real genuine man to have the privilege of being called daddy. You need to decide if the 2 of you are willing to be a active part in this innocent child's life or not.
2007-02-26 10:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by Chris M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know you don't mean to sound like this is no different than giving up a pet you can no longer care for (which to some people is very difficult too) but you do. You come off as selfish and insensitive at best; merciless and mercenary at worse, concerned with having this man to yourself regardless of what it may cost him in the future. I know you don't mean it that way, but I caution you to be very careful with this issue.
The child is your fiance's FLESH AND BLOOD. You will never be related to this man by BLOOD. He created the child (whatever the situation; one night stand or relationship gone horribly wrong, it really doesn't matter) the child is here and deserves to be supported. He is apparently the father as the courts must have determined paternity. Things do not always stay the same. In the future he may want a relationship with the child and the mother may also mature enough to support that. Going from house to house is better than having a mysterious circumstance surrounding your identity. If your fiance' wants visitation he only needs to petition the courts for it, since paternity has been established.
In any case, tread lightly. You plan to marry this man. No doubt you might also want him to father your children. Would you want them so easily cast aside for financial consideration like only having $10.00 to spend? Parenting is expensive, sure. There were times when I CELEBRATED clearing $10.00 at the end of my expenses! It is called sacrificing for your children.
Advise your fiance to contact a legal assistance foundation for advice on terminating his parental rights. That would mean he was free of his financial obligation, but can he live with the moral consequences of that decision for a lifetime? That is what it would mean. Morally, he should be will to sacrifice to take care of what he had a part in creating. If you want him to be a real man for you and your future children, you'd encourage him to take care of the one child he already has.
Just my opinion, but this is a large part of what is wrong with society today. Too many abandoned children born to parents who think no more of giving them up than a pair of shoes that no longer fit their style. The child is a human being. You both need to respect that.
Good luck to you all.
2007-02-26 10:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whatever rights he has or doesn't have, he has to pay child support. there is only a certain per centage of the income that can be taken for child support, so i would sugggest ringing a legal aid place to have that checked out. the child needs all the help he/she can get, not having a stable father figure can be very hard and even damaging, but it needs to be something sustainable. this is about him and the child and whether or not the child interfears with your life is beside the point, the welfare of the child must always be paramount.
2007-02-26 10:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess this will teach him to use protection and to not sleep around. You both sound as though you deserve each other. Even if he signs over his rights he will still have to pay. BOTH parents and a judge have to agree to this. I hope the mother of his child isn't short sited enough to want him to do this. She deserves support from him.
And if you don't think he's bad for doing this, I hope he turns around and does the same thing to you. Then you can write us and let us know how that worked out for you.
2007-02-26 10:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by that dead girl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is absolutely pathetic. It's clearly not about what's best for "the kid," as you call it, it's about you not wanting to pay child support. Even if he gives up his rights, he'll have to pay child support until the child is adopted or 18.
2007-02-26 10:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are heartless - it is about the money. He will have to pay child support for a long time whether he sees the child or not. You can tell you are young. You don't care about the baby - he needs to see his dad - mind your own business.
2007-02-26 10:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anne B 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes he should give them up if he is willing to. No child deserves a father like that in there life. He is so willing to give it up without a second thought just because of money. How would you feel if he did that to your child or if one of your parents did that to you? Being young doesnt have anything to do with it. People young and old have hearts.
2007-02-26 10:11:38 · answer #9 · answered by Crystal F 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
First and foremost, this whole situation is NOT YOUR BUSINESS! YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT OF THIS CHILD!! YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR OPINION TO YOURSELF and let your man do what he KNOWS IS RIGHT!
He's going to pay child support until the child is 18 whether he has parental rights or not! Stay out of his business before you make things worse for him!
2007-02-26 10:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋