My older brother is 24 years old and steals money all the time from anyone and everyone. He uses their credit cards and bank accounts. My parents divorced when he was eight. My dad is a wealthy Dentist in NYC and pays off the people whose credit my brother has stolen to stop them from going to the police. but he's running out of money doing this because my bro wont stop!
My father tried to help the problem and sent him to Vietnam to get married because he thought that would straighten him out. but it didn't, now he's married and has twin boys. He came back to America and lived back with my mom to find a job and get his life on track.
We all thought that would have done it for him, no more stealing no more hookers no more massages. he has a job now but last week he stole $2500 from my grandma. MY GRANDMA! the one person who begged my mom to let him live back here. and yesterday he stole $5000 from my mom. My dad doesn't want him to go to jail but he's just not getting better. I'm lost.
2007-02-26 09:52:55 · 15 answers · asked by mnl3387 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
btw....who the people that think it's fake...you're right...they didn't have thousands of dollars in cash lying around....they're called credit cards dumbass
2007-02-26 14:36:48 · update #1
btw....to the people that think it's fake...you're right...they didn't have thousands of dollars in cash lying around....they're called credit cards dumbass
2007-02-26 14:37:14 · update #2
Sweetie trying to help him like yall are is really helping him sink deeper because he's not having to face up to his wrong. Its the same way I felt about my partner using crack to hang in there and maybe something I do or say will be the thing to get him to quit. But I came to realize why should he quit what will he lose NOTHING!! Cause he still had his job, home ,and me. But when I walked away and all that except his job was gone to he saw what the crack and him using it cause him to lose, Did he stop I really dont think so. Was it hard to walk away Hell yeah but I rather feel bad for him but have a normal life for me. He's not a child sweetie he's a man. And u have heard this before but its true THE BEST THING YALL CAN DO FOR HIM IS TO WALK AWAY!! IF YALL REALLY LOVE HIM THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO HELP HIM. And if he changes its a blessing and yall will be so glad yall did, but if he dont at least yall know yall did all that yall can. But the thing that can make a real difference in his life is this, when yall walk away,, walk away in prayers. Get your family to agree to a time and date to all pray yall dont have to be together. For instance yall choose 6pm well wherever each one is no matter what yall are doing stop at 5:59 pm to pray for him at 6pm also choose a day to fast.Sweetie if God cant change him yall certainly cant either. If you ever want to talk Instant message me ok. Also I'll give you a short lil testimony of my own that happen just yesterday my 2 last daughters like to smoke weed thinking its no harm but several times I came home I smelled it in their rooms I kept threating them to call the police but in my heart was a battle to do that cause the middle daughter has a 10 month old baby, but they wouldnt stop and again like I said why should they all they ever heard was threats and knew I was just running my mouth and I know thats what they would tell the friends that were here the same thing. Yall dont worry she just trip like that WELL HEE THE HELL HAW ON THEM!! When I smelled it yesterday I didnt say a word I set beside my bed and ask God to give me the strenght to do the rite thing. I politely got up and told 1 of them to bring me the cordless phone and they did not paying me no attention cause I was tripping so they thought I didnt suspect a thang! And then I dialed 911 and when the cops came all their faces were amazed!! Well the resolve of what took place is personal but my point is now they know Im fed up and they are liable for themselves my job is done.And like one of the cops told them i owe them nothing they owe me everything!! AND THE MAIN THINH THEY OWE ME IS RESPECT!! THE SAME THING YOUR BROTHER OWE YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS. IF HE CANT RESPECT THEM WHY DO THEY HAVE TO RESPECT HIM!!!!!!!!
2007-02-26 10:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it sounds as if your brother not any has a sexual problem but also a drug problem. I have been through this with my best friend It also sounds like this has been going on for a while and I am not going to say that your family is to blame ( by all means please here me out ) But your family according to you has bailed him out constantly. That's called enabling. You see your brother has no conception of consequences. You father is paying people off so he does not go to jail well The only way for your brother to learn is to be punished. In his eyes he can get away with anything he wants and that's never going to help him and if he has a drug problem jail might be the best place for him so he can dry out. The only way for him to learn is to hit rock bottom and unfortunately that mean you guy will have to turn your back on him for awhile. Sorry sweetie but at this point its the only thing you and your family can do!!!!
2007-02-26 10:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by kevin_girl666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is he stealing so much money? he must be on drugs!! or he is just a kleptomaniac? any way sounds like he needs to go to jail, you see what helping him has done, nothing he has only gotten worse, and what was your dad thinking, sending him to the heroin capital of the world and for a wife no less, gee lets see, he can't get his life straight so lets get him married so he can f uck up someone Else's life too, sounds like really good advice, sounds like they have over protected him, he has never growing up and why should he, if every time he gets in trouble your family helps him out of it, time for them to press charges against him, and make him get some help, before he steals from the wrong person.
2007-02-26 10:07:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Hard & Thick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does need to go to jail. Your father isn't saving him, he's only causing the situation to be worse by bailing him out. It is just reaffirming to your brother that he will never have consequences for anything he does. Why isn't anyone making him responsible for paying for these crimes? As you see the problem is just escalating. The family should definitely press charges and try the tough love approach. Nothing else will work as his track record has proven.
2007-02-26 10:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by ireallydoknowitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is little you can do. Your brother is obviously a grown man with children of his own. You can advise your family to make sure they keep their money and personal information secure when he is around. You can also advise them to allow this man to suffer the consequences of his actions. Only when he does that will he learn that crime doesn't pay. This may be too harsh for your parents and grandma to do, so at least encourage them to stop bailing him out. As long as they continue to do so, he will continue his dishonest ways.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 10:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to do whats best for him you need to tell the police it better you stop it now than him go to jail for robbing a store or bank and go to prison 20 years or more.
2007-02-26 09:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by rockinweazel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a WEALTH of good advice from the folks who already answered you above my post! Your family has a problem with moving their tolerance levels higher and higher as the this man's heartless and selfish intolerable behavior continues to escalate . I am going to assume drugs and alcohol are involved here. This kind of behavior affects the WHOLE FAMILY! Please read and then reread the advice that is above and then firmly set YOUR boundaries(someone has to take a stand, let it be you)....and stick to them. Check out AlAnon. Good Luck
2007-02-26 10:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by yepitsme22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the whole family has problems. Who the hell sends their son to VIETNAM to get married?? Anyway, how is he getting access to their accounts? The obvious answer here would be change all your bank account numbers and don't give him access to any of them.
2007-02-26 09:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the only problem your older brother has is that other people won't allow him to stand up & face life & deal with any situations he gets himself into.....he needs to be left to get himself out of jail [so to speak] it seems hard for me to say that I know, but for many...hard is the only thing they really understand.....then & only then will he really know that what he does comes with a price....
2007-02-26 10:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that is your brother but, jail is the only way for him to learn his lesson. Or you can probably send him to a psychatrist (however you spell it) This situation is going out of control. Have you all see why he steals. Im sorry but it the only way. :(
2007-02-26 10:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by The Original Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋