What would you do if a boy asked your 9 yr old daughter to go out on a date?

Question

A coworker of mine's 9 yr old daughter was asked out by a boy in her class. How do you tell her no without making her scared to talk to you about anything else?

Answer 1

too young plain and simple

Answer 2

There is no way in the world that a 9 year old girl should be going on a date with a boy. Although you didn't state the boy's age, I think that 9 is a little young for dating. Personally, I would just tell her no that she is too young and that as a parent you will decide when it is right for her to go on a date. I don't think she will be "scared" to talk to you again about it or anything else; it's the way you explain your position to her not the position itself. If she feels you love her and only want the best for her she will feel confident in your parental love and seek out your advice in other matters. That's your role as a parent!!

Answer 3

Explain to her what an appropriate dating age may be (usually 16), and the reasons. Offer to chaperone a group activity involving her friend and others of the same age group.

Kids need rules even at 9, or 16, or 18. Rules help them to understand their world, feel secure and trust their parents. Your kids aren't going to stop trusting you because you enforce rules; but, they will not trust you to take care of them if you do not have rules.

In our house, I started telling the kids from the age of two that there would be no dating until they were 25 and that even then, dad would be going with them and sitting between them. I think they understood by the time they were 7 that 25 wasn't the real age. By the time they were old enough to care, sitting down and having a real talk about dating wasn't a problem. There's nothing wrong with adult supervision and group activities.

Answer 4

Well first of all, don't get mad. It feels good to be liked and get attention at any age. Has anyone asked what he had in mind? Maybe he wanted her to go somewhere with his family. That might be ok. Nine year olds aren't allowed to stay anywhere without adult supervision, so there really isn't an issue. Tell her what the approved dating age is for unsupervised time spent alone on a date. Until then, whether she is with boys or girls, all time is supervised.

Answer 5

I would ask ask her a question, such as: What is the purpose of a child going out on a date at such a young age? I would just invite the little boy out on an outing. However I don't believe in dating. It just promotes promiscuity. And there are two many teenage pregnancies out there. I have a neice who is 8 and has had her period already, so it is a definite NO in my opinion. Also if she asked your opinion she must have a level of respect and confidence in you so I would worry about her being scared to talk to about other issues.

Answer 6

Take her out with you to a setting where its just you and here, ie like to go get a milkshake at the malt shop. Make it a fun outing in other words so that when you have the discussion with her, she does not get the impression that you are punishing her.

Have heart to heart talk and explain to her what your objections are. Tell her all of the positive wonderful things she does and how proud you are of her about those things. In other words, begin this conversation with strengths and positives. Then as the table is set, as it were, you can address your concerns.

At the conclusion, tell her again that you love her and our proud of her and that you feel confident that she can proceed with the plan you just discussed, ie avoiding "dates" until she is older and matureer.

Answer 7

Well, just tell her straight-out, 'honey, I think you're too young to go out on a date. I realize that you and so-and-so like each other. I think it's important that you have friends. It would be alright if you two wanted to hang out sometime as long as I or the other parent supervised.' and then let the child express her thoughts (anger/what-have you). Acknowledge those thoughts, those feelings, and talk them out logically with your child. Peel those emotions down to their real foundations to find out what's going on and take care of those. This should turn out to be a really good Talk for the two of you to have.

Answer 8

i wouldnt let her go, she's too young to be dating! I'm only 13 and i'm not even allowed on dates! And besides you're not going to know what there doing!
Just tell her that she's too young that's what my mom told me!
the only thing is the boy tells everyone that i used him when i didnt!
don't let her go but i would let her hangout with him in school
only or maybe you could meet with him after school one day and talk to him! that might work! Good Luck!

Answer 9

well at the age of nine, things arnt serious and most of the time these days "going out" means just being bf and gf not doing anything... my sis is 10 and she is "going out" with a boy and she said they never even hugged or kissed or held hands and they only talk and sit next to eachother at lunch,...i would let her "go out " with him but if he accually wants like a real date, invite him over for a play date, and you could have some of the girls and guys other friends come too, i really hope i helped you and good luck!

Answer 10

Um, you are her parent, not her friend. If you think 9 years old is too young for dating, say NO plain and simple. If you feel the need, explain your reason. However, you are the parent, not her. You are her guardian, not her. She depends on you for everything. Remember that.

Too many parents these days are too afraid to do the "wrong thing", for fear that their child will not talk to them anymore.

Answer 11

well you should tell her that the only way she could go on a "date" at that age is for both perents to be present. But tell her that a date by herself and the boy is absolutely out of question, just tell her she's too young for real dating.