there's this guy i've been seeing for a while and i've known him for about 8 months all this time he said that he has no kids i went on myspace and seen his page plus his sisters page and i saw two kids and on the page she said it was her nieces and one of them look just like him and she said on there that he has one on the way under the picture......why would he not tell me that he has kids? that is so wierd to me....i probably messed that up by telling him when i first met him that i want to meet a guy with no kids but still i feel he should have told me anyway hiding them makes him look bad. there was a girl that called me and told me that she's the mother of his two kids and he said that she was lying. How can i get him to confess about his kids?..this is not the first guy who has done this to me...why do some guys do this? no rude comments just need advice
2007-02-26 09:40:27 · 30 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think some guys do this because they want you to like them first before they dump baggage on you, but it always backfires on them.
2007-02-26 09:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by sheila 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
FIRST - You didn't mess up by being honest and telling him you wanted to meet a guy who didn't have kids. From where I come from, that's called honesty and is to be commended.
SECOND - Why would you want to continue a relationship with anyone who has lied to you? If he has lied about something that is as important as having children, how could you even begin to trust him about anything else?
THIRD - This has happened to you before? Maybe you're setting yourself up on a very bad pattern. If this has happened to you before, you need to do some "homework" on the guy before you go to the next step.
FOURTH - Why wouldn't he tell you? this is simple - He's a liar. -- a better question is, "Why would you want to be with a liar?"
FIFTH - Why do guys do this? Believe it or not, but all guys don't do this - Only the dredges - and it sounds like it's about time you moved on and found a MAN - not some liar and "wannabe".
It's all up to you - You sound intelligent, caring, willing and able to commit yourself to a loving relationship - you deserve the same in return - stop screwing around with liars and losers and look for someone who deserves you.
2007-02-26 17:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by poormigalito 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you need is a liar. You didnt mess up by telling him you wanted a man with no kids. That is what you want so its not a bad thing. I would get rid of him and fast. If he lies about something so important like that, then he probably lies about everything else. You are just picking the wrong men. I would suggest being friends with a guy first...for a while...meet his family etc. if you see that he is honest, then begin to date him. You dont deserve to be lied to ever, by anyone.
2007-02-26 17:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by mlock123 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because you let them lie first off!
Secondly all men want is to get between a women's legs and they will do all they can to do that, even betray their kids. Sad huh? I know. That is the only two ways about it. I am sorry for that but that's life unfortunatley. I have two kids, a boy and a girl, 12 and 16 years old. That's a good start, are you feeling better now sweetheart? Good luck to you always
2007-02-26 17:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's not the first guy the problem is not with them but with you and what you are attracted to. Something within your personality makes you seek these type of personalities out. Possibly some male figure in your life lied to you about things. Get some counseling so you can stop the cycle. Each time you go through this you cause damage to yourself. Your distrust builds and you construct walls around you. Without help, before long you'll become hollow inside. You'll become involved with men who only reinforce your negative feelings about them. You are fostering some demon within yourself and you need to understand what caused it. What feeds it. It's a form of abuse that you do to yourself.
2007-02-26 17:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by briardan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two questions for you:
1. Why are you still seeing him if he is a liar?
2. Why are you still seeing him if you want someone with no kids and he has kids?
No offense intended but it sounds to me like it's time for you to put on your walking shoes and walk away from this guy. If for no other reason as you will always wonder if the last thing he told you was actually true.
Best wishes to you and I hope you can work this trough to a satisfactory conclusion...
2007-02-26 17:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It probably was the thing that you told him when you first met him that you wanted a guy that has no kids so hes trying to hide it from you. but I didn't know why hes still trying to hid it from you. but how do you know that that was really the mother that called you? you don't know that for sure so he could be telling you the truth. and when you saw his sisters page on myspace, she could be referring to someone else because how can he have one on the way when hes with you?
2007-02-26 17:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by vicky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to "get him to confess" about anything, dump him. If he lied to you about such a major issue from the beginning, he is a serious liar! Why do you think you messed up by telling him you want to meet a guy with no kids- are you blaming yourself for his lie??? It is a good thing to be up front about what you want in a partner! Dump him, honey.
2007-02-26 17:46:50 · answer #8 · answered by Susan H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be glad that you found out before it was to late. If he lied about having kids, the most important thing in a person's life, then he would lie about anything. Keep your head up , you deserve better. You don't need him to confess it you have seen this with your own eyes. You need him to take responsibility for his action in lying to you. Please remember that we allow people to treat us a certain way , its not your fault if that person chooses to lie to you about anything that's on them . Stop beating yourself up over this , and realize that you were giving a gift ( a way out of a bad situation). smile.
2007-02-26 17:59:38 · answer #9 · answered by Priscilla B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're serious about the relationship, you're going to have to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Let him know how honesty is very important in a relationship. Do your best not to get angry while having your talk with him. If you have been with him for 8months, it's getting to be a pretty serious relationship. At this point you should know how you feel about him, would it bother you now to know he has kids? Know how you feel about the possibility that these children are his. Based on how you feel, that is how you should approach this situation. I believe he lied because he really has feelings for you, and you made it clear how you felt in the beginning. He is scared to be honest, because he probably feels that you will leave him.
2007-02-26 17:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by Brian 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once a lair, always a lair. He trying to have game, but not at all smart to have a myspace with the kids on the page. Call him girl on his lie and then see what happens.
2007-02-26 17:45:32 · answer #11 · answered by J J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋