my sister is getting married to the father of my neice .... i am happy for her but he takes advantage of her, he gave her an std from him cheating with some Bi#$% ,he has a very bad attitude and he is so ungreatful... and im not saying all this because of what i think ,its all cause of what i know for a fact because of what she told me...now my sister wants me to participate in the wedding ceremony but i really dont want the two to wed... i would feel like a hypocrite if i participated and feel the way i do....i dont know how to tell her i dont want to play a part in the wedding cause im afraid of hurting her.....wat do i do, how do i tell her?
2007-02-26 09:33:04 · 6 answers · asked by Worry wart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I understand. Participating in the wedding ceremony as a maid of honor or bridesmaid means you support the union. If your sister's fiance' has been unfaithful and she has shared this with you, naturally you want to be protective of your sister.
However, you need to keep in mind that couples sometimes do work past infidelities and get an understanding. Apparently this is the case with your sister. She has accepted the incident, forgiven it enough to still marry the man, and no doubt wants the union out of either feelings of love for him or wanting to provide a full time live-in father for the niece you spoke of, or both. Therefore, you should either talk to your sister and express your concerns or consider participating in her wedding as a sign to her that you are standing up for HER; that you will always be there for your sister.
If she has unresolved issues with her man there is little more you can do beside support her. I would advise against putting a damper on her day by not participating. She is a big girl. She has a daughter and she knows what she is getting into. Unless he is physically abusive, put your reservations aside and rejoice with your sister.
2007-02-26 09:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll be there, but you won't really be taking any official part in the ceremony...
Then, when the priest asks if anyone knows of any reason why the couple shoudn't be married, to speak up, that's when you unofficially partake of the ceremony..... :)
2007-02-26 17:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a stick situation on your hands and only you can make this choice.i,m sure you don't want to participate but ask yourself will i feel better about doing after wards?then do it. we are born with the right to choose our own friends and enemies and both our friends and our enemies must live with the consequences.live by this rule and use your best judgement.it's the best anyone can doo. good luck!
2007-02-26 17:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your sister's wedding. You may not approve of all of her decisions, but they are hers to make, and if you are close to your sister--it sounds like you are--it would be courteous of you to participate in any way she asks. If you want to discuss the shortcomings of her husband--and it sounds like they're worth discussing--don't do it while she's making wedding plans.
2007-02-26 17:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decline the offer and if she asks why, tell her you have too many misgivings about her choice for a husband and you're not basing this on words only, you're basing this on facts.
2007-02-26 17:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life isnt about being right or wrong. Its about being there for people. Just be there for her. right or wrong. You are going to be wrong many times in your life and wouldnt u wanna know your sis will be there for you?
2007-02-26 17:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋