what do you say to hubbys mother when she has abusive words toward our child?

Question

the other day we went to my hubby's moms house and my daughter just got her hair cut and shaped. she said "hi gramma"!
"i just got my hair cute do you like it?"...then gramma said (sarcastically).."well, good for you"..."are you trying to fish a compliment from me?"...i thought it was rude and my daughters feelings were hurt.
then another incedent was when we were all there my hubby was walking upstairs to see his brother so i followed him up thereto say hi too and as I did...my mother in law laughed and made barking sounds at me and said" oh look there look at the pathetic lost puppy" (referring to me) she said "why do you have to follow ron around like a lil puppy dog?"..she said this infront of my daughter and then i said " why are you being so mean to me?" then she said out loud "go to hell *****!" (in front of our child too!)
what would u all do in a situation like this?

most grammas want to give their grandkids a cookie or milk or a treat and hugs...but with our lil kids when my daughter wants to hug her she pushes her away...oh and if my daughter goes in the kitchen automatically gramma yells get outta my kitchen u didn't ask!! and my daughter says oh i was not getting any of your food and gramma says good cause i am not offering ...get your own food AT YOUR OWN HOUSE!~ why is this woman that mean?

Answer 1

I'd make the decision not to expose myself or my child to the woman. Your husband may want to visit his mother alone-- I wouldn't demand he never see his mother, but I'd stop seeing her. She sounds toxic-- who needs that? The kids don't need to hear it.

Answer 2

Has she always been this way or is this new? If this is new behavior, you might want to see if you can get her to see a doctor --there may be a medical problem.

If she has always been this way, then I would not go to her house. If your husband wants to go, let him go alone. If his mother wants to know why the rest of you have stopped visiting, have your husband tell her --with specific examples --and let her know that you will not visit as long as she treats you like that.

It may be a lost cause --some people can't be happy unless they are putting someone down. And explain to your daughter that gramma loves her, but she is grumpy "so we will not go see her until she feels better"

Answer 3

Good Grief. She sounds like a really unhappy/unbalanced woman. I would talk it over with your spouse and brainstorm some different ways to avoid having to go through that again. Such as tell Grandma that it hurt and it was SO hurtful to have her Granddaughter have to listen to it. Maybe give her an ultimatum....if she behaves like that again in front of her grandchild that her visits will be restricted. How about maybe working out an all adult time to give her the opportunity to explain why she is being so passive aggressive? Good luck to you all. :)

Answer 4

This is sad... how could someone be so mean.. I would of let her know how i feel,,, i dont care if husband got mad or not.. but i would of taken her aside and told her.. dont talk to me like that and treat my child with respect... if you dont want us around tell me now.. cause i will not come back until you apologize to me and my daughter.. some people just are mean and dont care.. so good luck and just say a prayer for her....

Answer 5

this occurs a lot with moms and sons. the mother's develop into jealous of the son's female friend/spouse. they could also develop into hyper-protective besides. in accordance to what you've said, you've not at all been unfair with her. So, she truly has no grounds. i imagine she feels threatened by you. She is petrified of you taking her son's interest and affection remote from her. So i do not imagine it really is unavoidably your fault. at the same time as I comprehend she is unreasonable and infuriating, she truly is to be pitied. Her habit comes out of shock or perhaps a sadness. Your husband on the different hand feels stuck interior the middle, and compelled to pick an aspect. notwithstanding, all therapists will allow you to comprehend that a husband must be unswerving to his spouse first. at the same time as he loves his mom, his modern-day promise is to you and your baby. Aboverall, his first priority is to maintain a good marriage and homelife. i imagine you want to make sure a counsellor (both with your husband or in simple terms you). they'd grant you with some insights. The "undesirable mom-in-regulation" syndrome is particularly common. i'm positive they could help you out. interior the intervening time, do save your distance once you could. pick your battles heavily. What your doing (being well mannered) is tremendous. I imagine that annoys her more suitable than some thing; no longer playing the game, she's attempting to get you to play. also (I absolutely have a feeling in this), that your husband would nicely be sharing own marital suggestion jointly with his mom. She would in effortless words be listening to the about unfavorable issues, about arguements that you would have had etc...actually everyone has their issues. Your husband ought to no longer be sharing this suggestion with absolutely everyone, extraordinarily his mom. she will be in a position to inevitably sense a favor to shelter him. in simple terms ask him if he has performed this. per chance thats why inspite of your politeness, she thinks your an undesirable individual. nicely reliable success. follow your guns. you've a wedding ceremony to maintain. do not enable her petty habit smash issues for you. She would not at all be your acceptable buddy, yet per chance sometime you could both be well mannered and respectful in eachother's presence. Take care ;)

Answer 6

Your mother in law doesn't deserve a grandchild like your child. I would consider NOT taking her back over there for awhile, or at least till she apologizes to your daughter..(I think you know how she is and it probably doesn't make a difference or not weather she likes you , you probably don't care). It's HER loss not yours or your daughters.

Answer 7

abuse is never ever ok no matter where it comes from she probably treated him that way so he thinks it ok, talk to him first and let him know u r not comfortable with her words or treatment and you would like him to speak with her about it. if she continues keep them from over there with out supervision. and if u r there and u witness it pull her aside and let her know gently that her tone is harsh and u r not comfortable with it. some time ago i told my southern traditional mom that i dont want her hitting my daughter she had an attitude but she never hit her again. i said it firmly but with lpve. remember children first

Answer 8

I would have told my significant other that this behavior is completely
unacceptable to you and your children, and told them that you want to leave now. If he refuses, then I guess he's still a mama's boy, and you need to set him straight, that you and your children will not be subjected to the verbal abuse from his mother, and you will no longer visit her with the children. If he sticks up for his mother and does nothing about it, who does he really care about then?

Answer 9

Yeah, I wouldn't take my child around her nor would I go around her again. Your husband needs to be a man and tell her that he won't allow her to treat his family like that.

Some nerve. I can't believe she acted like that. She looses in the end.

Good luck!

Answer 10

The next time she slips in one of her snide remarks, I would say. "You are a rude, cruel, miserable person. I will no longer subject myself or my child to your mean attitude".