I live with my boyfriend of 1.5 years. On Saturday, while intoxicated we got into an arguement. (He doesn't drink) It was heated and I decided I wanted to leave. I was grabbing my phone and purse to have someone come pick me up. He grabbed them and hid them, then he was trying to hold me back, the more I resisted the more angry and aggressive he got. I gave up and thats when he threw me up the stairs, I got hysterical and sat on the ground sobbing. (Remember, I was drunk) He was grabbing my arms, shoulders waist anything he could grab and was trying to throw me up the stairs again to our bedroom. I remember telling him not to put his hands on me and he laughed. Now my conflict is, obviously this was uncalled for. But, at the same I was drunk and was a little drama queen at the time. I know it wasn't okay to handled that way. He hasn't done anything like this before. How can approach the situation taking that into consideration? What is the safest route to take?
2007-02-26 09:01:01 · 50 answers · asked by Kimmydean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Side note: I drink on occasion, but rarely get drunk. Am I at fault for an argument sure we both are... But that doesn't make it right for him to hurt me. I definitely didn't do anything like that to him.
2007-02-26 09:11:09 · update #1
Another note: He never drinks and didn't this night either.
2007-02-26 09:34:03 · update #2
You need to talk about it, especially considering he was not even drunk so he should have been controlled........
Let him know in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate this type of aggressive behaviour no matter what is said between you two in an argument or no matter how drunk you are.......
Ask him why he laughed when you asked him to stop?!?!?!
Make sure you make it clear that you will not allow him to get away with it again..............
No matter how drunk you are you do not deserve to be handled and pushed around like a bag of spuds..........good luck xx
2007-02-26 09:07:42 · answer #1 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That does not sound like a healthy relationship that you are in. I don't care how drunk he is or how drunk you are. There are no excuses in the world for a man to ever put his hands on a woman. If you were the biggest drama queen in the world it still does not give a man the right to put his hands on you. I'm wondering if he he has acknowledged the fact that he did push you around? If he put his hands on you one time that's too many. You should talk to him and tell him how you feel. But most importantly you need to get out. I know it can be hard to leave him especially if you guys stay together but there are shelters for batterd women. I work with battered women as my job and I see it all the time. Either you leave or stay in the realtionship and risk being killed the next time he decides to put his hands on you. Good luck.
2007-02-26 09:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether you class yourself as acting like a drama queen (i wouldn't have classed it this way as people act differently when intoxicated) or not DOES NOT excuse your boyfriends behaviour!!!
My advice would be to leave this relationship immediately!!
You cannot guarantee that it will not happen again (as they say.... once a man hits a women and gets away with it they will try it again)
The safest route to end this would probably be via the phone or Internet, it may seem the cowardly way out to some, but at least you are going to be safe at a distance!!
Good luck!!
Remember you are worth more than having a bully for a boyfriend!
2007-02-26 09:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly, he only reacted like this because you were vulnerable. & not in the correct state of mind, & it was alot easier to treat you like that.
It doesn't matter that he's never done anything like that before. What matters is he did it NOW. & that you need to get out of it. It doesn't matter how you were acting, no man should ever do that to you.
What you should do is end it ASAP. Try to do it in a public place, or on the phone. Just make sure you're in a place where you know he can't touch you.
If you don't end it, he WILL do it again & it WILL be worse. Don't be the cliche girl that thinks it'll be alright & it was a "mistake".
Be very calm & blunt about everything. & do it as quick as possible & don't look back.
2007-02-26 09:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he was in the wrong for putting his hands on you.But it is only his first time and everybody deserve a 2 chance i would say give him another chance but the next time it happens don't give up just keep fighting intoxicated or not but go to him and tell him you didn't like the way he handled the situation and tell him he put his hands on you again it is over and it is going to be hell to pay and if he risk losing you then you are to good for him go find you another cause just like you got that one u can get another so don't waist time on somebody who don't appreciate you cuz trust baby he ain't the only good looking, non drinking man out there
2007-02-26 09:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by PassionatePices 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you were not so drunk that you're remembering this straight, it sounds like your boyfriend is a tad psychotic, or on drugs, or both.
Either way, there should be no going back after an incident of such magnitude - it only leaves the door open for a repeat performance.
If you're daft enough to stick around after that, there's little sympathy for you - you also might want to consider your drinking habits if they leave you so defenceless.
2007-02-26 09:12:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have an excellent memory to be drunk. Now that you are sober you realized you saw a side of your partner that actually could be brought out when you are not drinking too.
The safest route is to wait for him to leave and get your stuff together and go where you know you will be safe and away from him.
2007-02-26 09:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to these people who tell you to leave the relationship, I would never hit a woman but I would have handled it the same way, if you were drunk im sure he was just trying to protect you and keep you in the house that night. Maybe you should examine how you act after you have a few drinks. Good luck.
2007-02-26 09:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds dangerous, I would approach him and tell him that his behaviour was unacceptable. Any other signs of aggression and you must leave. There are no excuses.
My bf actually caught me in bed with some and yet even though he as livid he NEVER laid a finger on me. When I think back to it, there was nothing stopping him hitting my girlfriend and I, we were both almost naked, in a state of arousal and pretty shocked but he never laid a finger on us - just trashed the place a bit, called us names and left.
Do not put up with being treated like this.
2007-02-26 09:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. Do you mean for us to think that your bf didn't have anything to drink, or, that he never drinks, but that this time he got drunk? That could make a very big difference ...
Help for Battered Women! :
- "Maybe This Time He'll Change"
- Why Do Men Batter Women?
- Help for Battered Women
- Machismo--A Global Problem
- Correcting Misconceptions
- "Sometimes I Think I Am Dreaming!" (a successful outcome)
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20011108/article_01.htm
How to Solve Problems Peacefully :
- Why They Resort to Violence
- How to Solve Problems Peacefully
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1998/11/1/article_01.htm
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2007-02-26 09:31:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋