I'm a 2nd year medical student, and my boyfriend is doing his residency at a hospital couple minutes away from me.....I know both of us are extremely stressed out. I've been thinking about breaking up so we can both go our own way. However, We've been together for the past 4 years, and if I imagine my life without him, I feel like I'm empty. I dont know what to do anymore....please give me some ideas to path up our relationship!!!
2007-02-26 08:57:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you need some solid communication time to work out the problems and find common ground. You need to listen to each other and find ways to help each other with the stress. It also sounds like you two like each other enough to make it worth your while. Pretend someone offered you a choice, you can have what you want, but have to agree to give up on love. Would you accept that deal? Not many people would.
2007-02-26 09:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to make some "us" time - no work, no school - just you and him. I understand not wanting to give up a 4 year relationship so I would try this and maybe a rule where you can each vent to one another for 20 minutes while the other listens. You might also tell him what I told my husband. You realize he's under stress, but he needs to be very careful to not take it out on you. Try a punching bag or something like that, but your relationship may not survive if you're the one who picks up the slack.
2007-02-26 17:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you cant imagine your life without him i wouldnt break up with him. You should try to do something really nice with him away from work and just talk about everything thats been bothering you. Im sure he feels the same way. That would help you two get on the same wave length and know what each other are thinking.
2007-02-26 17:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, this is a tough one. You both need to talk. You need to tell him what you've just said here.
My suggestion, and I'm no dr...
I would suggest that you treat your relationship as roommates. There is too much going on in both of your lives. You have no room for the relationship. If you both care about each other, understand that right now you can't give each other what you need. He's working, what, 24 - 36 hours at a time. 70 plus hours a week? It's going to be like that until he gets out of residency. You're going to school and have to focus on studying...
Tell me, if you weren't with each other now, and someone asked you out, would you start dating or would you understand that you don't have time for that commitment?
If you are honest with yourselves... You would realize that you can't put another person through this.
But the fact is you have each other now, and now you have to figure out how to make it work. If you still love each other, try making less demands on each other's time and attention. If you are willing to invest in your future relationship, just as you are investing in your future careers, then you will be willing to make sacrifices.
Good luck to you both.
A~
2007-02-26 17:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to end it because you think it'll be easier for the two of you, don't. If you still care for him & honestly don't want to part, then talk about all that's going on in your lives. If you two love each other enough, this will pass.
but, if you don't want to break up with him because you wouldn't know what to do without him, then it's best to do so. Don't stay with someone just because you're afraid to move on. It'll only hold you back & you'll miss out on all the new people/experiences.
Your lives are taking a drastic change, maybe it's time to move on & start fresh.
2007-02-26 17:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I of 3 years broke up yesterday. I'm not with him and I still can't imagine what I'm going to do. I'd say that maybe you should let him go. As much as I'm hurting right now, I feel relieved because I know that there isn't going to be any more arguing. Think about your future, do you want to have a husband that you always fight with? As much as you need him by your side you need to be with someone that makes you happy, not mad because you're fighting.
2007-02-26 17:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by JoAnn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just listen to him whatever he has 2 tell u and work things out...listening is the key
2007-02-26 17:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by elona 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋