who's at fault?

Question

Adult child: 46, going through divorce, unemployed, extravagant lifetsyle, house payment
Parent of Adult child: 79, widowed, owns home, living off savings, simple lifestyle
The adult child asks for money repeatedly (total $50K+ in 2006).

The parent gives and gives and gives. Even when the child's divorce is settled and when the child gets a job the child feels they will still need about $1,600 monthly from parent.

Sure the child is wrong for asking but is the real problem that the parent keeps giving in to the requests? The parent is concerned that his money will eventually run out and he will have to somehow survive. The child continues to waste money.

Answer 1

This one is a no brainer....the parent who is giving the money is at fault. Why grow up if you are going to be handed money for free?

Answer 2

The environment of a child's upbringing creates who they become as adults. This is just a continuation of the relationship they had with their parents as a child. Try tough love. Use the word "NO". He is not going to love you any less. As a matter of fact It will make a 49 year old child, "GROW UP".

Answer 3

It is the parent's fault for continually giving their adult son money. It is the adult child's fault to keep screwing his parent over by acting this way and keep asking this parent for money, knowing that she/he is living off of their SSI and and simple lifestyle.
So, let's review: They are BOTH wrong. The parent for continually giving the son money and the son for doing this.
If said parent knows that this child is doing this and the child knows that they are taking away their parent's savings, then they both get what they deserve. Sad.

Answer 4

They are both wrong. The child for taking advantage of a mother's love, and the mother for not making the child take care of himself.

Answer 5

the real problem that the parent keeps giving in to the requests.