Why am i anxious to be me or myself?

Question

Why am i shy and socially anxious?
Why do i find it so difficult to be myself around other people and find i cannot be myself, why am i so shy and depressed? What can i do, i feel i have a lot of hidden talent and want others to know the real me, but i feel if i did show them me i would be shy and embarrased, i worry far too much about what others think of me, what do you recommend? I want to be ME and not be someone else!! I want to chat to people i dont know and for people to like me for ME not for some person i pretend to be, i dont want to put on acts just to get ppl to like me anymore!!!

Answer 1

I know how you feel. Social situations are hard for me too. It's deceptively hard to be yourself instead of the person you think people want you to be.

The only advice I can give you is to bite the bullet and go ahead and be yourself. You can try it in 'low stress' settings (the line at the grocery store, with the barista at the coffee shop, etc) with people who's opinion of you doesn't really matter. As you become more comfortable and confident with that then you can branch out to people that 'matter' (friends, co-workers, etc)

Trust me, people don't talk about you nearly as much as they think you do (I've learned that from personal experience).

It's very scary I know, but I don't know any other way to deal with it. The plus side is that it is so liberating once you can be yourself and much less stressful.

I hope this helps. (And I promise I'll like you no matter what :) )

Answer 2

You'll change over time and as you mature it will be easier to force yourself to walk through the fear and/or anxiety. You probably place so much importance on the people you encounter, the situations, your work projects, etc. It's okay to do so. It's okay to be shy, nervous or anxious. It's a matter of learning the tools to handle things despite the fear. You'll achieve great things b/c of your disposition...not in spite of it. So don't criticize yourself too much. You'll be the co-worker that everyone relies on to pay attention to the details, to ensure things are done correctly the first time....wait and see.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. You just have to let go of your anxiety. Don't focus on what people think of you. Do what you want to do, act how you want to act, and don't put on fake faces for the benefit of others. It's a hard thing to conquer, but I'm confident that if I can do it, anyone can do it. Main thing: don't change yourself for others. Just try not to think about pleasing everyone else all the time. Make yourself happy.

Answer 4

It can be really hard to relax and lose the self-consciousness. Try, when talking to someone, to try to get to know the real THEM. The real YOU will follow more easily.