I heard a report that many professional women are having late children in their 40's (donor) and many women find out that it's too late when they finally want to have children. I work in politics but should I give it up so I can have kids or figure out a way to balance.
2007-02-26 08:51:58 · 11 answers · asked by lorrnae 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes - they can be balanced. Some women are not happy unless they are working and have a sense of self outside of just being a mom and/or wife. Which is better - a stay at home mom who is unhappy and therefore takes it out on her kids or resents them - or a working mom who devotes her total time and attention to her kids whenever she is with them, even if only for few hours a day? Quality can be better in some cases than quantity. I am certainly not saying there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mom and I salute those who can do it. I, for one, was not one of them. I went back to work when my daughter was 3 weeks old because I was going nutso! And - no, she is not a psychologically warped person or ax muderer because of my having worked throughout her childhood. . She is a kind, loving, well-educated young adult with whom I have a very close relationship. You have to do what is best for BOTH of you. If you are not happy being a full time mom, you can make both work with a lot of effort. Money isn't everyhting - but another thought in defense of working is financial security. People in my same professional field who took time off to have and raise their kids are now finding they are not in a position financially to retire. All those years of not working and contributing to their retirement plans is a financial setback now that their children are gone from home. Those years can never be gained back professionally or financially. Also - what happens if you end up divorced like so many of us do? Will you be established enough and financially secure enough in your profession to support yourself and your children if worse comes to worse? Just some things to think about. Good luck - motherhood IS wonderful.
2007-02-26 09:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you want most out of life? What will be most valuable to you when you are 80 years old? Will you regret it if you can never have any biological children? Will you regret it if you don't reach your career goals? Those are questions only you can answer. It really all comes down to what you believe in. You just really need to search your soul. Many women have a career and a family. But personally, I believe that children don't develop as well when the mother is not at home with them.
My mother was a stay at home Mom. She went to college to be a teacher, but she decided to stay home and raise a family and make a home for us. I was, and am, so blessed by her decision. She was ALWAYS there when we needed her, and even when we didn't. It was a comfort to me even during my teenage years. It made me feel special and like I was worth all the time in the world--at least to my mom.
I am in no way saying that moms who work are bad mothers. Some have to for financial reasons, or to fulfill themselves. But all I know is that I will forever be grateful to a mother who sacrificed her career for me and my 3 sisters. She has told me many times that her children are the greatest joy she has in life.
2007-02-26 17:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by Sari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the first question is, is it really important to you to have biological children. If you are willing to adopt, you can do it at any age.
Most women in the US with children also work and find a way to balance it. It can slow down your career because you are not able to work the extra hours and always be available like before kids, but it does not destroy your career. maybe with kids at 40 you will be where you would be at 35 without kids, is that okay with you?
2007-02-26 17:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman can balance their carreer and children if they put an effort into it. I think it's a good thing that if women have children, they also have a profession that they practice and love.
I am sick of all those stay at home house-moms who don't have any life outside of going to Starbucks and having playdates at the park. Get a life!
I have a three year old and have been in my profession for 5 years. My daughter is intelligent (she can almost read), well balanced, much loved and not stuck to my hip.
2007-02-26 17:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by ☺SDgurl☺ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion you can try to balance, but what you'll find is that you'll not do either well.
I had my two boys young, and "had" to work, or felt I had to. What I find now, and I bet you'd find later in life also, is that what I missed wasn't worth any salary, benefit package or satisfaction I might've gotten from working.
Today I have a two month old, and sometimes I find myself looking at her, thanking God (and I'm not religious) that I don't have to work, or that my husband and I have made sacrifices so that she is my priority in life.
Not only will she appreciate it in the future, but my older boys (16 and 15) are watching and learning from me. They ask me if I did "this, that and the other" with them, and I am able to explain that even parents (me) make mistakes. Things I did with them I won't necessarily do with their sister, because I have learned with time and age.
I have re-devoted myself to my family. A job and career will always be there when/if I am ready to go back. I will never (as with my sons) be able to turn back the clock and be the mother I should've been.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-26 17:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on your body.
See your doctor with your mate and see where your at.
But if I were you i would get that out of the way, do u really wanna be in your late 50's wiping a baby's butt....lol
How long are you going to wait?
If you have a man, I would get to it.
If you have family support and a good man, you should be able to balance. Or just consider adopting? But its all in your ballcourt....based on what you personally want and think you are ready for and could handle.
Take care & good luck.
2007-02-26 16:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by msconfused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can balance life the way a woman can, you can have both. I am a Hotel Manager, mother of 2 children in school, and I have just gone back to school as well to finish my degree. It can be done. You have to believe in yourself.
2007-02-26 16:57:55 · answer #7 · answered by missjax72 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you could find a healthy balance. Just take you time and make sure your ready and that is all that matters the rest will work itself out.
2007-02-26 16:55:48 · answer #8 · answered by Sherrie D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Choose one or the other: Career or children.
It's not fair to children for their parents to have them with no intention of raising them.
Just as you couldn't be good at your job if you weren't there, you can't be a good mother if you're not going to be with your kids.
2007-02-26 16:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by Bradley 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you can always have your eggs frozen , until you are ready to be a mother . That way you'll have fresh eggs , your mind made up . and of course a plan. Good luck.
2007-02-26 17:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by winnerfull-1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋