help me out my self esteem is broken...again?

Question

i have been having problems with my self esteem for a long time, by the way im 23 yr old male. i guess my problems started when i was sexually abused by my aunt severally from age 7 to 11. thats another story....anyway so i have been try to build my self esteem and i was so proud of what i had achieved.
then two weeks ago i decided to challenge myself by doing some voluntary work, it was a good feeling coz at least it gave me meaning in life.... i was supposed to start today at an old peoples home
when i went i was told that we are sorry you cannot be of use here because you are black...she told me that way straight up, i felt devastated.
is there anyway i can regain my self esteem
by the way im an african and im in norway for studies.

please help and please dont call me names.

what you dont believe me? i tell you she told me in norwegian..."her er det vanskelig for mørke folk å få jobbe her" translated to english means exactly what i said....need i say more
by the way you are confusing me with somebody else i have never been addicted to depression drugs!

Answer 1

First of all I would definitely go to that woman's boss and let them know what she said. That is considered discrimination and it is against the law. Also, because you were sexually abused, maybe you can volunteer with children that have been sexually abused and know that you are helping them through the same thing you went through.

Don't be down on your self, if need be seek the help of a trained therapist and have them help you find ways to feel better about yourself. Good luck. :)

Answer 2

wow thats horrible! i cant believe they would turn you down for something you have no control over, and shouldn't even matter in the first place! i know that negative things that people say effect you several times more than any positive things said, but you really do need to ignore that rejection. you are worth something! your help can always be needed. you wouldn't want to work at such an ignorant place anyways. dont let all your accomplishments and self esteem go out the window because of some racists. try another volunteer job. whoever is at the receiving end of your charity will benefit from it greatly and appreciate it.

Answer 3

Don't give up on yourself and don't take those comments personal. Some people are so against people because of their race and I don't think it's fair at all. Just keep letting people see who you are and if they can get a chance to know you they will realize that you are a wonderful caring person. It doesn't matter what race you are on the outside what really matters is what's on the inside. But some people are so blind they will not allow themselves to look beyond that. That makes them ignorant and shallow. Try not to let if affect you. Theres lots of people out there that don't feel that way. The ones who accept you as you are, are really the ones who care about you and who will be there for you. You can be a victim or a survivor, choose to be a survivor and you will acomplish whatever you put your mind to. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that that's happened to you. I think that you should still be proud of what you have acheived and that you should continue in your challenge of doing volunteer work to the community. You are who you are, and you should NOT define yourself by the actions of others! Keep your head up! This is your life. Take control of it. Don't let others control your life.

I don't know what your religion is, but I'm a christian, so I find peace in God whenever painful things happen, whether big or trivial. Sometimes, all I do is call on His name: "Oh, Lord Jesus." And I just repeat it. It doens't have to be loud. I sometimes just whisper it quietly while walking to school, and I know that God is always there with me. I find that knowing God and his purpose for our lives gives me strength to bear the obstacles that life throws at me.

Answer 5

focus on your strengths and what you enjoy;
get back on the horse and try again, not all volunteer establishments will be as ignorant or rude as the one you went to;
you can make a difference in your own way and it will help you feel better about yourself


don't focus on the past...you have to find a way to leave it in the past and not let it hold you back...instead move on


you are not what has happened to you but how you handle what has happened to you (ex. you are not a victim of sexual abuse, you are a person coping with past sexual abuse)

don't let your aunt continue to victimize you by holding you back from what you want and need to do

You can be a good person and make a positive difference in this world.

Answer 6

First of all i feel sorry for what happen to you....My advice to you do not let anyone intimidate you that person who told you "we are sorry you cannot be of use here because you are black" was so racist it's very unprofessional of her to tell you that.I know how you feel cause i was put down too by my teacher last semester when she told me that i dont have the potential to be a nurse it really really hurts me that i almost cry but i just ignored her cause i thought that she is in no position to tell me that and no rights to tell me that.i hope my advice helps...

Answer 7

Say what? She told you that you couldn't help because you were black? I don't believe you. Why didn't you go to her boss, if she really said that? I think you are looking for attention. That is just outlandish and the fact you did nothing about it (except feel "devastated") means it didn't really happen.

Go see a psychiatrist for your problems.

You've been posting about your low self-esteem for weeks. You said you stopped taking your medication because you were "becoming addicted" to them. What a CROCK. You are addicted to your misery. You don't want to get better---you're afraid you won't get anyone's sympathy anymore.

My mother used to say,"You know where you can find sympathy? It's between shi* and syphilis in the dictionary."