How do I handle this?

Question

My relationship is perfect in every way. He supports me and my kids, he treats me like an angel. He asks for nothing but that I be faithful to the promises we have made to eachother. I love him more than life and I KNOW he loves me very much as well.
BUT........
He has a hard time talking about feelings. Sometimes out of the blue he will say something that melts me. This is getting more and more rare, though. I tell him how much he means to me. I tell him how wonderful he is and how happy I am to be with him and I am, but sometimes I really just need to hear a few little things from him and he CAN'T do it. On the one hand I feel bad for being upset about it, but I don't know how to not be upset. He bends over backwards to make my life wonderful and I hate myself for hurting and being so sad when he is so wonderful in every other way but that one. What do I do?

Answer 1

Communication is key in any relationship. My ex sometimes had a hard time communicating with me and would bottle up feelings and all the little things that were bothering him would come out at one time when they could have been handled at the time, with a lot less hurt.

You need to decide what the most important thing is for you. By him treating you like an angel and supporting you and your kids, he is in his own way showing you how he much he cares for you. Some people have a hard time verbally communicating their thoughts and feelings so they choose to do it through their actions. Ultimately, you need to decide if you are ok with him not expressing them verbally.

Tell him how you feel about it and tell him why it is important to you. Don't forget to tell him how much you appreciate everything else he does for you though. In the end, that may be the only true way he can let you know how much you mean to him.

Answer 2

i sort of had the same problem with my ex. You just have to decide how important it is to you. Whenever i was in the relationship with him, that little thing he never did, well i started to really over analyze it and make it a big deal, but then whenever i lost him, i realized that that little thing actually wasnt so important, because i knew how he felt about me and how i felt about him, so i had wasted all that time over analyzing it, and i was trying to change him into something he could never be... Have you tried talking to him about it though? Just tell him you would really like to be more intune with his feelings. Has he ever written you a letter saying how he's felt? Maybe he just has a hard time saying certain things outloud.

Answer 3

it's not good that he seems to be bottling up all his feelings and emotions. you might want to suggest a councilling session where you go together and speak with a relationship therapist who could help bring him out of his shell. sounds like he may have some hurtful feelings in his past that may be preventing him from expressing himself. hard to say exactly.. but yah, it is very important for your relationship for him to feel open and comfortable communicating with you.. definitely do something about it.. because the issue won't go away.

Answer 4

thats just how guys are...