Ok so here is the problem i have known this girl for the last 7 years and when i first met her she didnt like me at all. I know her family really well and her father thinks of me as a son. But it get even better the girl i have been talking to is engaged. She has second thoughts about marrying the guy and has been going out with me and asking me to come over to spend time with her. Yesterday i saw her at bowling and we talked and she doesnt believe that i would date her if she were single. I told her that i could in a heart beat and that i wouldnt think twice about it. But the matter is is that she is engaged so what am i to do. She really is a wonderful girl. Should i just take myself out of the situation or should i go after this. What do you think? She really likes me alot and loves spending time with me as well!!!
2007-02-26 08:11:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should remove yourself and not cloud her thinking. You do not want someone who likes you but is involved with someone else. You need to let her make her own decisions in her time. You need not let you be the reason she makes the decision. She may be getting cold feet and want to see ( the greener grass on the other side).
If you were the fiance, you wouldn't like you being that guy.
It was like she was asking if she broke off the engagement, she wants someone to fall back on. You really do not want that either. You do not want someone on the rebound.
You need to back away no matter what and do not take her calls or meet her. You do not need to explain anything to her either.
2007-02-26 08:18:54 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is this: Engagement affords a couple that plans to marry an opportunity to make sure they're doing the right thing. It is much better to have second thoughts NOW than after the marriage has occurred. I think that you should make your feelings known to her. Tell her the only reason you're not all over going out with her is because she's engaged. Tell her that if she wasn't engaged, youd like to be with her. You'll have no regrets, no matter what happens, if you lay your cards out on the table.
If I were her fiancee, I'd definitely want to know if she was having second thoughts. I'd only want her to marry me if she knew, without any doubt, that I was *the* one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
2007-02-26 08:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by Scotty Doesnt Know 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love triangle. Well she has to make the choice to end the engagement based on feelings, not facts. You have known her for seven years, when did the feelings start. She got engaged I would assume in the last few years. Maybe she is going based on the fact that a relationship wasn't built prior to her engagement.
The girl has to decide for herself, whether she has a sure thing with the future husband. If she doesn't feel that the relationship is solid, then she shouldn't be getting married.
But by trying to interfer with her relationship may change the way her father feels about you and may change the dynamics of the relationship you have with this girl.
If there ever comes a point in time where she feels she will cheat on her fiance, then she knows it is time to get out that relationship and move on with you
2007-02-26 08:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave, if she does that to the guy she's in engaged now. You will always have the idea that she will cheat on you. And i think she will. Plus you would like it if you were the other guy. so just leave them alone. she's not for you. ask yourself why do hang out with her, what do you want from her. and if is physical attraction only. and make a decision base on what you feel. because she only Care's about what she feels.
2007-02-26 08:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she already knows that you would date her, had she not been engaged. you really anwsered this question yourself...take yourself out of the situation. she needs to make a decision. if she makes the wrong one, well then she'll have to live with that. but don't be an *** and get yourself involved with a girl that is engaged. it sounds as though she likes the fact that she can have her cake and eat it too. i would stay away, until she makes the decision to dump him, or get married.
2007-02-26 08:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by snowflake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has cold feet and is using you as comfort. Yes she may like you but she is engaged!!!!!! Put yourself in her fiance shoes, if shes doing it to him she'll do it to you. Step back....... if she ends it with the finance then the window of opportunity is open and go for it. DO NOT become the reason she called off the engagement people will resent you. good luck
2007-02-26 08:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by sayj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a person who is engaged still has the right to change her mind. However, do not date her unless she breaks her engagement with the guy first!!!!
2007-02-26 08:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off for now and see if she winds up single. You did the right thing by telling her that you would date her IF she was single. I suspect she is just flirting around etc. to really "see" if she wants to get married. I will lay you good odds she goes through with it.
2007-02-26 08:40:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has second thoughts about being with the other guy, then are you sure she won't have second thoughts after a while of being with you?
It doesn't sound to me like she's really in touch with what she really feels, or she changes her mind alot.
2007-02-26 08:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by kateronii 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where are your parents! Jeez it's not rocket science. If they have a BOYFRIEND OR ENGAGED OR MARRIED stay away from them. You have no business even having the "if you were single discussion." Find your own girl ... and be the best man you can be.
2007-02-26 08:19:37 · answer #10 · answered by Summer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋