Okay this isn't about me(good God no!), but a friend. I have a guy friend who a bunch of people suspect might be a virgin. Now before you go ahead and praise him for "waiting," let me mention that it is NOT by choice. He is not the religious type, or a prude, or sex-scared, or the type to take things extremely seriously. He simply cannot get girls to save his life!!
There is nothing wrong with him--he looks decent, has a college degree, a nice car, and he finally moved out of his parents' house(he couldn't afford to before)--except for the fact that he is extremely low-confident and hates himself for who he is! I think part of the reason he hates himself, is BECAUSE of the rejections that he's gotten in the past...virginity is a big fat reminder of these rejections.
Is being a virgin at his age that rare?(be honest!) Also, is it a potential turn-off for getting girls, esp since it's "by default," i.e. involuntary? Cause that happened w/ another guy friend who was one til 25.
2007-02-26 08:00:41 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is NOT holding out for that "special someone." He is NOT choosing to wait. He will hook up with anyone remotely attractive and wililng! Please see my other question, titled "virgin-by-default."
Also--There was nothing traumatic that put him in the predicament of hating himself. He simply grew up as a nerd w/ overprotective parents, is very self-critical of himself by nature, and has the social skills of a middle-schooler(in other words: he's shy and unconfident). I don't think he ever got past his "nerdom" as me or a few other ex-nerd friends have. I try to help him, and he listens and always says "yeah maybe you're right" but then never changes anything!! I think he really feels that he is "beyond help." He keeps relating himself to that 40-yr-old virgin movie and says that he'll be alone for life.
2007-02-26 08:15:28 · update #1
Why are there always people suggesting that *I* get with him? What do I look like...a charity organization? In words of my friend Ed, my v***** is not Unicef lol! Besides, who says that I'm even single/available for my virginal guy friend?
Another thing...yeah I admit that I'm "thankful" about not being a virgin like my friend. The reason why is, because I love sex so much and having a sex life changed a lot of things in my life and my outlook on things. And yeah to be honest, I WOULD be a little turned off on a guy who is a virgin-by-default over the age of say, 20. It'd make me wonder if there was something wrong w/ him that maybe other girls saw and I just wasn't perceiving. Things like that have happened in the past, so that's part of where my opinion on this comes from. Also, desperation does not = attractive. But that's just my opinion. I'm more concerned with everyone elses' opinions.
2007-02-26 08:41:35 · update #2
WHO SAID THERE WAS A TIME LIMIT ON WHEN YOU SHOULD STOP BEING A VIRGIN??? HIS TIME WILL COME AND WHEN IT DOES HE WILL BE VERY HAPPY!!!
2007-03-06 03:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I found it amusing that you are asking whether it's ok, but then the first thing you say is good god thankfully it's not you. That compells me to ask YOU what would go through your mind and your feelings if you were single and the man you just met that you want to date tells you that he's not had sex with a girl before.
For what it's worth, you can tell your friend my opinion. If I were dating, I would find it a bit unusual, but I would not hold it against him. I'm not going to laugh or run screaming to the ladies room just because of that. It's his lack of self confidence that would turn me away, not that he's not been with a woman before. On a scale of 1-10, that would be like a 2 or a 3. His lack of confidence would peg the top of the scale. Tell him to get over it and build a better self-image of himself. He's not going to get off the ground with most women otherwise. If my relationship with a man who has never had a woman ever got to a point of physical intimacy, I would be happy to let him know what to do with me. Believe you me, I would take very good care of my guy if I'm his first. Look at it this way, at least he has no stupid ideas about what women want and isn't all arrogant about it. Just like any other man, he will need to learn what each specific woman likes and dislikes anyway since we're not all the same. A good lover will take the time to learn and do what's good for the one he's with. Read up on some of the nomal sex stuff and how to please a woman. Don't be totally clueless and ask stupid questions like "what's a clitoris?" and be prepared to learn about what pleases his partner. She will do the same for him. Don't go believing that having had sex before is a panacea.
2007-02-26 08:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by Elisa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont think its bad at all. i mean i even think its kind of cute in the way that he just hasnt been with anyone else, so that if i were with him i would feel more special that i could be his first. i dont think its the virginity thats not getting him any girls its the low self esteem. I have a friend he's 21, and has a low self esteem too, he cant get a girlfriend to save his life. Its true women are attracted to confindent men. He needs to learn how to fake it or figure out that he is worth something regardless of whether or not he's had sex.
2007-02-26 11:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by thop 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell me about ...I'm 27 and have the same problem. I can't get a chick to save my life, have low self esteem, depression and I hate myself because of it. And i'm a virgin. Go ahead and laugh. When I tell women this they say its a good thing cause i'm not a player and I'm a very honest , caring and great guy....Seems like me and him are in the same boat. It really does suck. Women tell me these things then don't want me. I know the rejection hurts alot.. been through that more times then I can count.
I should just get the points casue I addmitted I'm a 27 yr old virgin..!!!!
Then why don't you BANG him and give him pity sex !!! to get him outta this hump he's in...
If u wanna talk contact me !!!!
2007-02-26 08:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it seems it is not common for either men or women to be virgins at that age. however, why is it that he has not been able to get a girl? if it is because of low self-confidence, then what happened to put him in that predicament? I certainly wouldn't down a guy for being a virgin or not getting girls or whatever. Regardless of his past I would look at his personality and how he treats me and others... he seems like a decent guy who just hasn't met the right girl yet. he will. good luck to him...
2007-02-26 08:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No...Ever seen 40 Year Old Virgin, the movie with Steve Carell?
2007-03-05 07:25:13 · answer #6 · answered by Terry C. 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nicely I waited till 35 and it became into with a 20 twelve months old as i became into no longer involved in love till then. Married her a twelve months later and been 2 many years now. yet advantageous if I had my time over i could have not any concerns.
2016-10-02 01:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by mechem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend will choose to have sex whenever he wants to. don't worry about him being a 26 yr old virgin. when the time is right, he'll have sex with that special someone!
2007-02-26 08:06:55 · answer #8 · answered by niners1800 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yeah it is pretty much rare. But I kinda like the sound of him...tell him to message me! lol. I dont think there is anything wrong with this though..I just dont understand why he cant get a girl..
2007-02-26 08:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by michakitty87 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how do these prospects know that he is a virgin. I don't know why that should change his future...if he is very comfortable with you maybe he should go out with you and some other friends where he can meet new people....he needs to feel comfortable with himself before he will be comfortable with someone else....tell him good luck
2007-02-26 08:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that 'boy' is impotent. Ask him to get help from doctors. They can fix every issue. I was impotent too for many years, and that’s why I too was scared of dating girls, so that I do not get ‘exposed’! But then, one girl came in my life that I trusted. I told her my condition. And she still accepted me as her bf. Initially it was very frustrating to use only finger(s)! But bless the girl's courage and patience, she did not let go of me. Later.. much, much later I started getting erections again ( thanks God) and now we have regular and healthy sex. In fact I want sex to twice a day now and keep pestering her for that! From impotence to this!!!
From that day onwards( because of this incredible girl) my respect and love for women folk has gone up tremendously and I love them and admire them and psst cant live without em!
Anyways, yours friend can be healed too. Ask him to go to a doc or to confide in a kind and considerate girl he can trust, who will be patient with his 'condition' and above all ask him to have faith in God!
2007-02-26 08:20:14 · answer #11 · answered by Wiickid 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋