We've been dating for over a year now and I don't think continuing for the long haul is the right choice for us. I love her very much and don't want to break her heart.
2007-02-26 07:47:54 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell her exactly what you just said in your question. That you love her, don't want to hurt her, but don't believe its for the best in the long run.
2007-02-26 07:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by Tender Hearted 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, some amazingly bad advice.
Sounds like you're bored with her. It happens when two people don't work to keep the relationship fresh.
Are you sure it's not the best choice? You love her, you must like her. But maybe you want the excitement of new loves and aren't ready to settle down?
There's no way you're going to break up with her and not break her heart. But the gentlest thing you can do is probably to do the whole, "I love you, but I don't know if I'm going to be ready to settle down for a while, and I think you deserve better" thing. The trick will be finding just the right message that you don't string her along for another couple of years.
But first, you need to decide the real reason why you want to break up with her.
2007-02-26 07:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can feel for ya. I broke up with my girlfriend, but I took a year to do it. We had been going out for six months when I realized she was not for me. She didn't want to have kids because she was too old. And I wanted to at least adopt. Anyway, I spent a year to help her understand that I was not interested in being anymore serious with her. We continued to date, sleep over, and be friends for about a year. I was house sitting when I let her know. She cried for about an hour. I stayed with her. I went back to my place. She phoned me two or three times. Each time she became more angry. Then she stopped having contact with me. She called me names and stuff on the phone, but she was just upset. It is too bad I had to let her down so carefully. I think it is much easier for some lady to break up with me. Anyway, I hope this helps you find the best way and decision. Another words, I hope you don't rush into it. Take your time, you have your whole life ahead of you to make better connections. And keep the door open for friendship. I tried with her, but it did not work. Maybe, it will work for you. If you try all of this and you feel stupid, don't. It is far too easy to break up. The longer you take the better it will be.
2007-02-26 08:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by mike t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the direct and in person approach is best. Say exactly what you said in your explanation, '... I don't think continuing for the long haul is the right choice for us.'
Or
One time when I broke up with a boyfriend I told him that he deserved someone that could love him more than I did. It says that you care about this person but you can't give them all that they deserve.
Most of all you need to be firm, don't break it off unless you are absolutely certain that is what you want -to do otherwise you will be causing her unnecessary pain.
Good Luck!.
2007-02-26 07:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by Wanderlust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Her You Love Her But Aern't IN Love With Her Anymore Or That You See Her As More Of A Best Freind
2007-02-26 07:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by savannah♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! There's really no easy way to do that. Any way is going to hurt her...not trying to make you feel bad. Sit her down and tell her how you feel, she'll be thankful in the long run that you are doing it now instead of waiting longer and hurting her more. You're doing the right thing though. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 07:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by He's my world 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her pain is up to her, not you. The appropriate thing to do however is just tell her what you said here..that although you care for her, you don't feel the two of you are a good long-term match.
She may disagree but when she realizes that you feel it's not working, she'll accept it, work on getting over it, and move on.
Nice that you care how she feels and want to keep this as pain-less as possible. It's not a pleasant situation for either of you.
2007-02-26 07:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her what u really think. maybe then u will still end up being friends in the long run. f u c k the dum a s s who said to cheat on her b/c that is absolutley the worst thing that u can do to a relationship espaecially if u are hoping to still be friends with her
2007-02-26 07:52:43 · answer #8 · answered by get_high_and_hope_it_gets_u_by 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, do you really want to finish with this girl? Make sure that you 100% certain that you don't want her no more before you break up with her.
Tell her exactly how you feel, women want you to be honest. But she wouldn't want you to be brutally honest, try to let her down as gently as possible. Say that you love her but you're no longer in love with her, but you still care deeply for her and still want to be good friends.
Good luck mate, hope it goes alright xxx
2007-02-26 07:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then that is exactly what you tell her. Do it gently, firmly and honestly. Respect her feelings as well and let her say what she needs to say. Be sure to emphasize that you DO care for her and that this is a choice you've made that you feel is best for the both of you.
2007-02-26 07:50:40 · answer #10 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋