ok i started going out with this great guy and we dint tel lour friends.... we dint want to tell them so soon.. now they are really mad bcuz they think i lied to them but was just trying to hide it for awhile. i dont no wat to do bcuz i love my freinds and my bf and iam not going to break up with him. i think my friends are being jerks now. so any advice to get them unmad??? help!?!?
2007-02-26 07:37:56 · 11 answers · asked by acelover12forever 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like your friends are being immature but, I can understand where they are coming from. If either of my close friends started dating someone and never told me about it until later, after denying it for that time, I feel like they were hiding something and wonder what the big deal was. If they were dating someone I had previously dated and didn't want to tell me, that's one thing, but if it wasn't an ex or a guy they knew I really liked...I don't see what harm there was just coming out with it.
If anything, sit down and talk to them about the situation. Maybe it goes beyond the fact that you "lied" to them. He might be a great guy to you but, do your friends find something their not comfortable about with him? Is he an ex. of one of your friends or did one of your friends have a crush on him? Did either you or your guy get out of a long term relationship and they feel its "to soon to be dating?" They could just be jealous of you. Either way, ask them and explain to them why you didn't tell them. Was there a reason why you didn't want to tell them so soon? If so, you might as well let them know.
If there is nothing other than you just didn't want to tell them, if they were true friends they accept it and move on. If they still are mad at you, give them time to get over it or just forget and make new friends. Life is to short to be ditching your friends because they are mad that you didn't tell them you were "Dating" someone.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 07:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by galaciel21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They probably feel betrayed, because seriously, what was the point of not telling your friends? 'Cause the second that you made the decision not to tell them, something inside you knew it was wrong, or else you wouldn't have hid it. Give them some time and apologize - if you haven't already and let them know that you didn't mean to not tell them. There's no need to break up with your bf unless your friends have real probable cause not to like him (i.e. he's way too old/abuser/player, etc). Sounds like you guys are in middle school or high school and things like that happen. Friends can be possessive, and so can a bf - so you really do need to find a median or find new friends that can accept you both.
2007-02-26 07:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to wonder if they are true friends; for if they where true friends, they would of had some idea that you had a friend and would be happy that you do currently have a BF.
They are not friends if they are not happy for you in finding what you might think is your love. They should be jumping with joy for your happiness!
Don't let friends control your destiny, you take control of your life as it is and be who you are and not what those around you want you to be.
If they are your friends, they will be there to share your happiness and sorrows - let them be for a while, you'll learn who your friends are!
2007-02-26 07:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends...did you lie to them? Did you tell them something that was untrue or just not tell them about your new boyfriend? There's a big difference. If you didn't lie to them, then the fact that they're mad at you means they aren't really your friends. If you did lie to them, then you aren't really a good friend. Either way, i'd make a serious effort to talk to them. clear the air about why they're mad. Don't get defensive...just listen to them and explain that their friendship means a lot to you. Remember...it's very hard to be mad at someone who isn't mad back at you.
2007-02-26 07:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by I_Spy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, well i think your friends are immature for doing that to you. If that all it takes for them to be gone, then let them go. My advice is to stay close to your new BF and realize that you can always make new friends. Plus if they really are true friends then they will see the error of their ways and miss hanging with you and will come back eventually and then its up to you whether or not to accept them again.
2007-02-26 07:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not worth losing friends over a guy. guys wont always be in your life, maybe they will, but most arent. Guys get what they want, or get bored, or something like that, and leave. Friends are FOREVER, are you willing to lose that? ....just think about it... how long have you known your friends, how long have you known him. how well do you know them, how well do you know him. how long have you been friends, what youve shared with them, the fun times youve had, and then the same for him..... just think bout it, and talk to them, explain to them.
2007-02-26 07:44:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize and tell them that you just wanted to make sure it was going to work between the two of you before you told them beacuse you didn't want to feel embarrased if something happened between you too!
2007-02-26 07:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by desperado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can be like your friends too. You need to say sorry and help them deal with it.Try doing a group activiy together.
2007-02-26 07:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
apologize and tell them that you just needed time to tell them
2007-02-26 07:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by lalanoesbest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
silly ,friends love unconditionally . that answers that
2007-02-26 07:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by josh s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋