i have been with my bf for 4 months, i have fallen for him. we were planning everything together, i was going to move up there in time. he was the one basically planning our lifes together.
he has been off with me the past 2 days and now he has text to say hes not ready for a relationship as he was hurt so badly by his ex and he cant cope with going through it again.
he said he wants us to stay friends and that he still wants to come and visit me once a month and stay for the wkend
(we live 100 miles apart)
he said he wants to go travelling and he needs some space and time on his own.
he said he dont know if he will ever be ready for a relationship.
we are both 25
he has hurt me so much and i cant stop crying, my heart is completly broken as i thought we were gonna be together forever.
please help me? i dont understand all this.
2007-02-26 06:46:22 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was with my ex for 6 years and this is the first guy i have put my all into since then.
we knew each other for 6 months b4 we got it together and he has really hurt me.
2007-02-26 06:53:55 · update #1
first of all it was only 4 months..so chill out....and second its easy just go out with his best friend...duh!! dont you watch t.v..?
2007-02-26 06:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by truesoldier4ever 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, basically he said it all. I feel for you though, it wasn't nice of him to get you all hyped up then dump you, but better to find out now than later. He's not ready, and believe me things happen for a reason. I know how it feels when your heart is so broken. I'll tell you the same thing I told someone else earlier, try to stay in the company of other friends, do some window shopping, find some kind of craft to concentrate on. I know easier than said. Since it hurts so much I don't think I would want to be friends with him, that would only constantly remind you of what you had and what he did to you. In time you'll be able to let him go. Hang in there.
2007-02-26 06:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Dee G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that you are so heart broken give him some space for a couple of days and then try and ask him what is going on. Does he mean when he comes to stay that he gets to 'sleep' with you even though he wants to be friends? Do not sleep with him....its a full on relationship or nothing do not let him use you. He might just be scared because things are moving quickly ie you moving because of the distance but if hes not interested in talking try and move on. Good luck.
2007-02-26 07:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jo H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too much too fast! As great as "Happily Ever After" sounds sometimes when people actually sit down and think about it... It's a scary thing!
Perhaps he does want to be with you and have a life with you, but he probably just has some things he wants to do before he settles down. See other people. Travel. Be his own person. It's not unheard of and you can't really be mad at him for it.
Besides, already talking about forever after four months? It seems like you both were more in love with the idea of spending the rest of your lives together then actually loving each other and being able to do it.
Your sour feelings with pass. Cheer up!
2007-02-26 06:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry this has happened to you as no one deserves the pain of rejection for whatever reason I've been there myself and was totally devastated for around 5 mths,but unfortunately you can't force a friendship or relationship, I know it's hard and painful but you need to move on ,find another interest or love that occupies your thoughts,time is a healer and you'll heal I promise!!! I only wish I could soak up some of your pain for you as I've truly been there :(
Take care gorgeous, This too will pass and you'll be stronger for it :)
2007-02-26 11:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Zenlife07 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, bless you. I know this is the most horrible thing in the world and it feels right now like you will never ever get better. My heart absolutely goes out to you.
Right now, nothing is really going to make you feel, but I promise you that in time you feel right again. In the meantime, here are some things that might help...
- Spend lots of time with friends, they will want to help and love and support you
- Give yourself a proper break from him, seeing him or talking to him will only confuse you, cut your ties
- Treat yourself to lovely things; some new clothes, get your hair done, have a spa treatment - all to make yourself feel good
- Remind yourself hourly that you did nothing wrong, you trusted and you loved and those are great things. Don't ever get cycnical or hard
- Don't try to understand, concentrate on making yourself feel better
Good luck
xxx
2007-02-26 06:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It appears that like many women, you have tried to progress the relationship faster than your boyfriend.
Women sometimes attempt to plan a chap's life and if he is unable to find the right words to put the brakes on, he will sometimes say nothing at first and then see breaking up as the easiest solution. This does avoid having to put up with the woman nagging about his lack of commitment if the relationship continues at a slower pace.
2007-02-26 07:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Clive 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry!
if its any consolation i was in the same boat last october, we had been together for 5 months, im 22 hes 25. He fed me all the same bull sh*t bout our future together then suddenly went wierd and said he wanted to be on his own.
my advice???? walk away now!! at the time i thought it was the end of the world but i slowly started putting myself back together and 4 months down the line im nearly ok, still hurts a bit but im happier than i have been in a long while!
just take time and if you feel like cryin,then cry but never let yourself cry for more than 5 minutes- it worked for me anyway!!
good luck and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-26 07:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by serenbach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
remember you have done anything wrong... He made that choice and knowing that he must find better girl and if you were 100 miles apart... I think he cheating on you.. and Remember he full of it... and
Guess What? you are bright, beauitful, smart, caring, giving, so much of thing of you and you being you and you done nothing wrong... one day he will find you agian and he will be shocked that you have better life and better than you were before and he will feel like crap... Remember, you shouldn't feel bad about this or heart broken ya know... he say things you wan tot hear and all that crap...
I want to be your friend a true friend who listen and who care and who really respect you... I am honest too My wife love me more and she Love me for who I am and being honest.. better than any guys she been with... smiling.. pls don't feel bad smiling..
I know he cheating on you so now he try to cope with his heartache ex girlfriend and don't want to go though.. he must of know what he saying and He not man enought to tell to your face... loser.
2007-02-26 06:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cut all contact he is a total jerk and a coward to dump you by text.
he isnt mr perfect so stop think that he is.
there must have been something that annoyed you about him. focus on this thing when you think of him.
get your friends round and have a girly night in or out. no in fact have tonnes of them!
you got over your ex after six years so you WILL get over a guy you have been with 4 months.
2007-02-26 07:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT's ONLY BEEN 4 MONTHS...
be happy he left you now instead of ending violently in 6 years...
It will be easy to get over him he's 100 miles away, and oh yeah him text you saying he is not ready for a relationship is his way of telling you he got laid. NOT ONLY DID YOU GET DUMPED YOU GOT CHEATED ON TOO!! HA You must be one of the hot dumb broads.
2007-02-26 06:56:31 · answer #11 · answered by simsad31 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋