Should i have a third child?

Question

I have two boys already. 5 & 3. my husband says it is up to me since i am the one that stays home with the children. here is my problem. both of my boys will be in school next year so that would give my husband and i some free time when he is off during the week. And we like to travel and do things outdoors. my boys are at the age where we don't have to worry about diapers, bottles, etc. I really want another child just don't know how much it would change things. If anyone has had the same worries please tell me. I am not trying to sound selfish just confused.

Answer 1

I don't think you are being selfish at all. You have a life to live also. If you really want a child and you are in the position to have one and you are financially stable by all means go ahead! If your children are getting to be older it is a perfect way to start teaching them responsibility and how to help out with a baby. Utilize family and friends to get that extra time together or if you really just want time how about you just wait awhile on having the child.

Answer 2

If you have to ask that kind of question, you already know the answer. Children come with great responsibility, and in this day in time, the responsibilities are only becoming more. Keeping up with the Jones's just so your children can "fit" in with the ongoing changes and, quite frankly, the time that children need to feel secure, having 3 is just almost too much to handle. However, I know many women who have 3 or more children, but the way I look at it, NO ONE could ask me to have another. I am selfish. My babies are my pride and joy, and having another child would require me to compromise the time I spend with them, and the aches and pain and suffering, not to mention the things it does to your body, having another child is something you really really want... NOT SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE that won't come help you feed it in the middle of the night. That is all you honey!!!

Answer 3

If you are going to have one more at this point, you might as well have two. They will play together like your first two did and will be great buddies. Being the first two will be so much older than the third it might be a good idea for you to think about the playmate situation. ;)

Think of it this way, when your children are grown and you can no longer have children, you will have all the time in the world to travel and go out to dinner.

EDIT~ For the one comment that said that you would have no body, I weigh 120 lbs and look like a pin up model. I don't have a work out schedule because I don't have time, I just stay busy and eat right. ;)

Answer 4

I get it!
You know, why don't you have another two in about 5 years.
I have a good friend who grew up that way, it was her and her brother until she was 13 then her parents just said they wanted more so they had two more girls.
I ran into a lady at my Chiropractors office and she had a 15 & 12 year old and a 2 year old - her comment was they have alot of fun with the little one.
I would say to have another set so the youngest doesn't get too spoiled and has a close sibling to play with. I haven't been able to talk my hubby into that one yet - he wants 4 more all 2 years apart!
Hello! I would have no sanity or body!!!

Answer 5

What do you mean you dont know how much it would change things? Did you forget when you went from 1 child to 2? It will be like that, except the other boys will be in school, so you'd had more time with the baby. If you like to travel, it's easier with 2. Your husband needs to have more input on the topic.

Answer 6

I think your not being selfish at all. Having 2 young boys is a handful. Do you think you could handle 1 more. I guess it comes down to if you would rather get a job when your children start school, or if you would rather stay home and start again while still trying to take care of 2 other boys after school.

Answer 7

i have the same problem. my fiance and i already have a 3 yr old and we always had plans to have another baby but i wanted to get married first before we have another child. my fiance already have 5 kids with other women, so thats going to prevent me from quitting my job and being a at home mother. which is something i really want to do. i dont mind the fact that he has other children, in fact i luv them as if they are my own. and i've always wanted a big family. i had a complicated pregnancy with my son and he was born with menagitis. sometimes i feel selfish because i want more children and then i feel scared because i know that i have an illness that i can pass on to my children. and i might not be as lucky as i was before. just so you know that you're not alone.

Answer 8

I was in the same boat as you. Had two boys 5 & 3. Decided we wanted a third to try for a girl. I went off the pill. We did it maybe twice then decided no, I didn't want one. So then we stopped trying. Needless to say, my daughter came 9 months later. She was just meant to be here I guess. Love her lots and can't see my life without her. It is so differant having a girl. Good luck with your decision. As you can see mine was out of my hands, but that was o.k. It is going great and we all adjusted fine to adding another child.

Answer 9

Definitely pray about it!!

How old are you and what are your reasons for wanting another child? In your question you listed the reasons why you wouldn't want another baby - so I'm just curious.

I would say if you are young enough to "take some time off" from the baby scene, you should do it. You would have time to spend with your husband, and you can go ahead and "be selfish" and take care of *you*, and then when you are really ready, go for it!

Good luck!

Answer 10

My first advice would be to pray about it! And then, ask yourself this to help you figure out what you really want and need:

When you have reached the end of your days, and you contemplate your life and your memories, which will mean more to you: the memories and love of another child or the extra time you spent with your husband?

And also, when considering the time you spend with your husband, why not set up one night per week where your kids stay with a friend (and another night per week with their kids stay with you) so both couples get one night off per week?

God bless!