In Dec, my husband & I spent time with my Mom (she lives out of state) for a family gathering. When packing to leave, my husband accidentally packed my sister’s jeans (the ones that are around $150). When at home unpacking, I realized we had them. She insisted I mail them to her even though we were all gathering again in 2 wks. Well to this day, the package has not arrived (& I did not insure them). It has turned into a HUGE argument. Normally, I would reimburse her, but 2 yrs ago, we loaned my sister almost $4K. She was "supposed" to pay us back, but we have not seen a penny of it (and don't expect to either). I told my sister I would normally pay her back, but I found it disheartening she was buying expensive jeans when she owed us (and others) so much money. Also, I told her I was confused on her double-standard: we “should” pay her back, but she has shown nothing toward paying us back. I am not going to reimburse her, but I just would like to hear other viewpoints.
2007-02-26 06:00:40 · 13 answers · asked by BMD 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It seems to me that even though your sister owed you the money you were the better person to do what you felt right in your heart to send her the jeans in the mail.Paying her for the jeans that never arrived to her is surely something you don't want to do because of the money she owes to you. However, your probably thinking that if you don't pay her for them then she will be able to have something to throw at you for not paying you back what she owes. So I would pay her for the jeans as you say you are going to, only because you are the better one and she will not have anything to put in your face. However, for the money she owes you, if you have anything in writting you could always take her to small claims court. If thats not a good idea maybe you could just meet her on her pay-days and get something back weekly. I know it's not your responsibilities to chase down your money from her but if you don't go after it your not going to get it. They say family are the worse people to lend anything to. I'm sure you have learned a terrible experience with all this and I think it's awfull when people take your kindness for weakness. When people take and think they are one ahead they always loose bigger in the end.Remember for every 60 seconds you spend angry it is 1 minute of happiness you loose in your life. She will loose in the end. You are the better one.
2007-02-26 06:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by AUDREY 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand where you are coming from. She should pay you pack and you should expect that from her because that is how the real world is and when you owe money to a creditor or a bank you HAVE to pay it back. So now that she is making a big deal about a pair of jeans tell her that you would like her to pay you back the $4k starting immediately. Tell her you want a check for $100 a month until it is paid off.
I actually don't know what your question is though.
2007-02-26 06:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you will pay her back on the condition that she promises to pay your money back first. Begin with $150, payable as soon as you pay her the money. You are the creditor, she is the debtor. She has an obligation to pay you back. (In a normal situation, that is.)
If she refuses, never, ever loan her money again, period. And you don't need to pay her back. That's the problem with relatives and family - when it comes to money, it's a lose-lose situation. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't (lend them money, that is.).
So, the best thing is, if you don't want to loan money, just say "No", and be done with it. That way, you only lose once - you will lose their 'favor', but won't lose your money.
If you do lend them money, you will lose twice. First, they'll think that they are entitled to getting money from you since you are their relative, and therefore, you will be considered their ATM, and you won't likely get any gratitude. Second, they will most likely not give you your money back, and if they do (once in a blue moon), they will do it grudgingly, and call you mean because you asked your money back.
Well, for you at least, you know what kind of sister you have, with regards to money.
2007-02-26 06:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. You did put forth all efforts to get the jeans back to her. She would have them in hand today if she would have been patient and waited for you to bring them to her the next time you saw her. And you are right to where she has not offered to pay you back a dime yet has $150 to spend on jeans.
By the way.....don't loan her anymore money (wink).
Good luck!
2007-02-26 06:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right in not paying her. She is obscene in even mentioning the thought of YOU paying her back for the jeans.
If she keeps insisting, I suggest you send her a 'bill' for the $4K, noting that $150 has been removed from the tab = $3850.
I'm sure you'll never hear a word about it again. :)
2007-02-26 06:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister sounds soooo much like my sister. Unfortunately I dont know how to deal with her either and we havent spoken in nearly 2 years. I hope your situation doesnt come to that. For me, not dealing with her is the only way I can cope. She is hypocrital, selfish, judgemental , and materialistic. She only sees things from her end, so I had to distance myself. If your sister owes you 4 thousand dollars why in the world is she buying such expensive jeans and how does she have the nerve to have a tantrum over wanting you to pay her for them? You may need to leave it alone and see how it plays out. Good Luck to you, I wish I had better advice.
2007-02-26 06:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll pay her back for her $150 jeans when she pays you back the $4k she borrowed and still owes you.
2007-02-26 07:19:03 · answer #7 · answered by pacshore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the right choice, she has the nerve and yes if she could spend money on 150 jeans then yes she could have paid you back your money so I'm with you .
2007-02-26 06:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly If you loan money do it if you have that much to lose
and dont plan on getting it back.
If you helped her out and you did it with the intentions to help you did a good deed what she did with the money she will have to live with and having a rotten gut feeling knowing that she screwed you over . dont hate her for it or remind her , her guilt will be punishment enough
2007-02-26 06:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by sackman95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she still owes you money, tell her you'll put the $150 towards her bill. Now she only owes you $3850!
Sounds like she takes advantage of people, thats too bad.
2007-02-26 06:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋