Friends with benefits?

Question

I've been friends with benefits with a guy for four months now, but I want more. Trying to make this situation into a real relationship hasn't gone good. Should I continue to try and make a relationship with my FWB or break it off and try to make a relationship with someone else.

Answer 1

break it off, he's only seeing you as a benefit. find someone whom you can have a relationship with.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, I hate to say it but "Friends with Benefits" or "The No Strings Attached Deal" whatever people are calling it these days eventually doesn't work. It might be what you both want in the beginning because it can be very convenient, but eventually someone will have feelings for the other person and 9 out of 10 times the other person won't feel the same way. It has come to my attention and with my own experience that the woman is usually the one to attach feelings with the FWB and I think its natural. I say that because most woman think on emotion and when your having sex with a man its the most intimate part of yourself. You open yourself up (no pun intended) you are your most fragile and vulnerable that come out and it can be a very special moment.....but unfortunately that special moment might be for one person and not the other.

The truth to it all is you have to be honest from the beginning, as a woman if you think hey I think I could handle this but I don't know my mind might change in a few months and might grow feelings for this guy......then that's what you have to tell that guy.

And vice verse for the guy, if you think truly this is the only thing you could handle at this moment because you have enough going on in your life.......then that's what you have to say to the girl.

The key is to be as straight-forward as possible without being insensitive.

I think we have to redefine what we want in our lives and how we want people to treat us. Its understood we live in a different time where women have more choices (i.e. go back to school at any age, pursue career over marriage and children, etc) and that is fine but men and women think differently no matter what. We have to figure out what's more important.....do we really need to have a friend w/ "benefit or can we just invest in the rabbit???

I hope I haven't offended anyone, if so that wasn't my intention, just think about it, it makes sense.

Answer 3

Its very hard to transition into a relationship with a friend with benefits. I mean the guy is getting everything great without the attachment and title, why would he want to change that?? You have to think about how he acts with you. Has he ever mentioned something more, is he affectionate with you, does he seem genuinely interested in you and not just the sex?? If so, you may have a chance, but if not, most likely he's using it for what it is. If you feel comfortable talking to him, then maybe try to bring up the possibility of taking it further and see how he reacts. But be warned he may move on to someone who wont get attached becaues he's not ready.

Answer 4

I think only one time has a FWB relationship turned into more in my life. It usually is just all about the benefits. If you went into this thinking that it would turn into a relationship, you thought wrong. He sees you for physical pleasure, nothing more. But like I said it worked okay once for me, so why don't you tell him how you feel. Tell him you want more. If he says he doesn't want more, then move on.

Answer 5

Friends with benefits usually end up falling out as one person wants more than the other wants or can give. If that person doesn't want a relationship, you will have to move on to someone who wants a relationship - and an exclusive one at that.

Answer 6

FWB is very tricky, and usually one of you will always want more than the other. Unfortunately it's usually the woman who will want to take it to the next level. You should talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel. It's better to deal with it right now, instead of down the line, after you get more attached. Who knows, maybe he'd like to be more than just FWB as well. If not, then you should move on. Hopefully your friendship will survive it! Good luck!

Answer 7

you say it hasn't gone good so to be honest I think that answers your question.. You could make a break with your FWB altogether and see if he comes to you and asks for more, and if not move on. But i wouldnt try to do anything more from y our end. Just break off and back off and spend some time on your own, concentrate on your friends and fun and your own life. See what happens.

Answer 8

I say break off and try a relationship with someone else.
This guy justs wants you for sex. There is very little if any at all chance that a relationship would work between you two. Try looking for a nice guy, a guy that doesnt want you for your body, but for your personality. That way when you two do "express your love" for one another, it will be better and more meaningfull.

Answer 9

If he doesn't share the same feelings as you and showing you that he wants more, then he is happy with the way things are with you now... It is up to you to decide if you can continue things this way knowing that there is a big chance that this is as far as things will go with you. If I were you, I would continue it and but keeping my eyes open... who knows, if your fwb finds out that your seeing someone else that might give him that push into your direction.... just keep your options open and you will be fine...

Answer 10

The beneifts you refer to are supposed to the be product of a healthy, committed relationship. Giving the friend the benefits without the committment means he doesn't need a committment.

I would stop doing the benefit thing with anyone untill someone commits in marraige. Believe me, it's worth the wait.

Answer 11

OK here's what you should do. The problem with FWB is that people don't set a time limit. I say tell him he's got a month. Or better yet, tell him he has one last time with you, and then you have to go one way or the other.