my daughter getting married next yr and she want the full monty!!!
me and her father have given her a budget and she done really well. however this week she ask for more (£4000). the grooms family are well off and havent paid a bean should we ask them to chip in the extra???
2007-02-26 05:54:02 · 34 answers · asked by barnsleybell35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yes - if the couple are unable to provide the extra then yes.
have you look at areas where you can cut corners for example:
we bought our own champagne and paid corkage... (the bottles in the hotel were £65 for house, we went to Threashers and got 3 - 2 got Bolonger at £30!!)
she bought her dress from BHS and the Bridesmaid dress, altogether for all and shoes £1100
we did it all on £7500....
also ask everyone if this was the best price... surprising how many people and companies will give discount
2007-02-26 06:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by tink 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Should be able to do the full Monty for around £7000, depending on number of guests. Can be done less but can also cost a lot more. It is a tradition that the brides family pay for her wedding, thankfully a tradition that is slowly dying. If you are unable to pay the extra £4000 then explain this to daughter and see if/where cuts can be made, less guests for example, or less posh hotel and reduced meal costs
2007-02-26 06:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by BobC 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No I wouldn't lower myself to go round with the 'begging bowl' and ask the inlaws to be. We have/are paying for all our daughters weddings but that is suiting us. Both times inlaws have/are giving very generous gifts. This is really the responsibility of your daughter. Sounds like you agreed to a certain sum of money which if she is now asking for £4,000 'extra' must have been a substantial amount. She should not be now putting you in this position. She should either be cutting down on the wedding she had planned or having discussed this with her partner and they both considered his parents ought to be helping out HE should be the one doing the asking of his parents, not you or your daughter. Weddings are indeed a costly business and depends much on circumstances, I know lots of couples pay their own wedding or the two families agree to contributing amounts. Sometimes it is lack of thought. When I got married my father in law was wealthy and I was really a bit angry that he hadn't offered to put anything towards the wedding. I was glad I didn't say anything as in actual fact he gave us an extremely generous wedding gift just before the wedding and when his 2 daughters got married after us I realised that he didn't hesitate just took it for granted he would pay as it was his daughters. This has also happened as I said with my own daughters inlaws. The couple really should have decided who was paying what, what they too could afford etc before making wedding plans which I imagine are quite elaborate? Good luck whether you give in and produce the extra cash or let them get on with it. It won't be an easy decision. either way.
2007-02-26 08:43:08 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a prime time for both families to come together and talk about what is being paid. You've given her a budget, so why should she need more?
I say have a group meeting and discuss this together.
Don't be surprised if your daughter turns into a whiny bride when she doesn't get her way. L4000 (sorry, US keyboard) is a LOT of money!
2007-02-26 05:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
What a lucky girl to have her parents pay for her wedding!! I think its a bit excessive asking for £4000 more! If you are coughing up the majority then hell yes the other family should chip in too!! We are in the 21 century most parents would laugh if there kids expected them to pay for there wedding! I know mine would!
If i were u i would descreetly put ur point across! or just ask ur daughter to budget a little more after all theres more to marriage than an expensive wedding!
rx
2007-02-26 06:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
most couples getting married these days pay for their own wedding(i did).you are being very generous.the groom should do the asking not you.4000 extra is a huge amount.draw the lime somewhere.
2007-02-26 06:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. That's the norm these days, it's modern life after all. There is a nice way to ask anything, maybe you could suggest the son in law to be and your daughter approach the grooms family to ask for a contribution so that you don't have to?
2007-02-26 05:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say this is the limit, this is as much as we can do. Way back when, weddings were not as expensive as they are now so the brides parents paid, and now people want alot more and I think its kinda split between the two families. They have to stick within the budget you set or pay the rest another way. If they are old enough to get married, they are old enough to understand.
2007-02-26 05:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Traditionally, the groom's parents do not pay for the wedding. It wouldn't be good form to ask them to pay. If they offer, then take it, but do not ask.
Tell her you gave her a budget and there's no more money left. Costs of weddings are ridiculous, and it sounds as if she's more interested in the wedding than the marriage. Tell her to tone it down because she's not getting anymore money. And do not allow her to borrow for the wedding. How can they have a strong marriage if they're still paying off the wedding years later?
2007-02-26 05:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by scarfyrre 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think that your daughter and her fiance should be responsible for the extra. You gave her a budget, and she made choices that cost more than the budget would allow. I think that two people who are old enough to get married are old enough to make the adult decision of either sticking to a budget or coming up with more money themselves.
2007-02-26 06:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by Shellbell 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋