My boyfriend smokes. I hate it. Aside from being absolutely disgusting, it's bad for his health. He's only 19. I've made comments about it and even hid his lighters and cigarettes. But, he just gets upset with me. I love him to death and don't want to start an argument over it but I don't want to see him get sick, either. Help!
2007-02-26 05:47:52 · 12 answers · asked by carebear_grl21 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I don't nag him. I just hide his stuff as a joke. I still don't like it but I love him and won't break up with him because of it.
2007-02-26 06:23:31 · update #1
You cannot get someone to stop smoking if they don't want to quit. Your best bet is to quit trying to make him stop and just try to find things to do where he can't smoke such as going places where cigarettes aren't allowed. Also you can tell him that you don't want him to smoke around you etc.
2007-02-26 05:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much you want him to stop smoking, the only way for him to stop is if he wants to stop on his own. Hounding him and nagging him will not work what so ever and all it will cause is for him to push you away. Before you and him got together, he smoked and now he still does. If you didn't want to be with a man that smoked, you should of never have gotten hooked up with him. Remember you can never change a man, just like a man can never change a woman. It works both ways. Put yourself into his shoes, how would you feel if he nagged to you about something that you do that was just you being yourself and you couldn't or wouldn't change(Healthy or Not Healthy wise). And if your really concerned about your health, then you should of thought about it before.
2007-02-26 14:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you're a hottie and a kind-hearted girlfriend, but nicotine addiction doesn't work that way. He will have to quite entirely on his own when he his ready and dedicated.
If you cannot stand the idea of living with a smoker, I suggest you consider finding another boyfriend.
At least he's only 19, so it will be easier for him to whip it now. But don't hide his smokes or lighter. You will be turned into the Gestapo Woman in his mind automatically. Nicotine fits are finely dressed psychotic episodes.
So keep your distance from his tobacco. Let him want to give up on his own, hopefully because he loves you and wants you to respect him. But not because you're the Police Nanny.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-02-26 13:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. He is addicted to nicotine and you're hounding him will not make him quit. He needs to WANT to quit for himself, not for you. I'm sure there are social programs to help people stop smoking in your area. Check with the local hospitals. They are usually free and they will show him great pics of black and decaying lungs that just might deter him. In the meantime, remove yourself when he's smoking to make your statement. Don't say a thing. Don't allow him to smoke in the house. He has to go out. No smoking in the car. If he just HAS to smoke, make it very inconvenient. Eventually, he'll get the message that you don't like it and take you seriously; perhaps he will start to value his health also. Godloveya.
2007-02-26 13:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation with a girlfriend, I finally made her an ultimate to quit or lose me. She chose smoking in the end, she was more addicted to it. She ended up catching cancer and still couldn't stop smoking. It was sad, and it hurt to break up with her, but I found someone better and my health is improved for the better. Sometimes love has tests we must pass.
The big thing is he is not just damaging his health, he is also damaging yours. If he loves you, that should affect his actions!
2007-02-26 13:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iknow it is gross and smells bad, but do not hide or destroy his stuff. This is only going to cause problems between the two of you and that is not what you are trying to accomplish. He will only be able to quit smoking if he actually wants to. You are just going to have to wait and see if he gets to this stage. he might not and that will be somthing you are going to have to deal with. If it bothers you ask him to smoke only in a certain room or outside. Not in the car. If he agrees not to smoke in the car when you are with him dont rush him or whine while he is having one outside of the store. You have to meet him half way. Good luck and Good health to you both he will quit only when he is ready to.
2007-02-26 13:54:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him quit smoking. That is something he has to decide to do on his own. I used to smoke and I wouldn't quit for my husband, kids or myself until I wanted to do it for me. There is nothing or no one in the world that can make that decision for him but him. If he smokes and you don't like it and that is a big thing for you I suggest you move on and only go out with guys that are non-smokers. Either that or suck it up and deal with it. He will not quit for you - only himself and then only when he is ready.
2007-02-26 13:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by PRS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him stop. You can't encourage him to stop. It's completely up to him. The best thing you can do is ASK him if he wants to stop, and if he says yes, tell him you're not gonna bug him about it, but if he wants help or support, you are there for him.
I dated a guy who's DAD DIED from lung cancer associated with cigarette smoking. He still wouldn't stop. You can't make him.
2007-02-26 13:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have started dating him in the first place knowing he smokes and you don't like it. Now you want to change him and it's not going to work.
2007-02-26 13:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Shari 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him alone the more you nag the more he'll smoke, he will quit when he is ready.
2007-02-26 13:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋