what does my ex-boyfriend really want?

Question

My ex-boyfriend constantly text messages me and if i don't talk back to him he calls my phone until i answer. If i don't answer he thinks that i am with someone. He even texted me 37 times within 2 hours. What is he thinking about... really. I do still care about him and i love him. It hard for me to trust him he broke things off with me. He thought i cheated on him when i didn't. He always thinks that i want someone else and i don't i was very happy with him. I tried to show him that i don't want anyone else but he is insecure about trusting my love for him. What do I do about him?

I need real advice bcause i thinking about getting back toghther with him.

He want to get married and get me pregnant too.

we have been to some premarrital counseling in the past. We still attend the same church and lately he has been making small changes in his behavior but not significant enough for me to feel as if his insecurity about me has dissolved. He has came a long way since we first met 3 years ago. I am not letting my guard down or makes excuses for him. I just want the happiness that we both deserve. Trust me we have been through the storm and the love is still there. We have faced some real challenges i feel stronger about us being together. I am being extremely careful.

Answer 1

you just answered you question...he is VERY insecure and no matter how many times you tell someone you love them and are there for them, and want them,etc... until he knows that HIMSELF i.e- is happy with himself and confident with himself then he will always be a problem. If you still have the patience to deal with him try to find out why he is so insecure? Did he experience something in his past that makes him to be this way? Was he betrayed? I really think you need to leave him alone for a hott minute so that he can find himself.

Answer 2

MOVE ONNNNNNNNNN!

Here's the thing, once trust is broken, it's really really really hard to build it up again. I have a friend that was with her bf for 2 years they broke up and ever since then they call and text each other, by the way that was 1 1/2 years ago, but it doesn't seem like they can move on... and it's doesn't seem like they're getting back together.

Don't waste your time... I'm sure you still love him, but if you're really meant to be together, somehow you will be together again, in the meantime, the communication needs to stop b/w you two, so that you can both think more clearly.

I think you should change your number.

Answer 3

I would tell him flat out face to face. Look, you broke up with me. You thought I cheated on you and I am a honest and faithful person. You are an insecure person and that is your problem that you have to deal with. You broke up with me. Now you are harrassing me with the many text messages and phone calls.

Ask him why he is constantly messaging you and harassing you when he broke up with you. The relationship is over and you do not want to hurt anymore by someone who cannot trust you.

I had a boyfriend like that. He would always pick up the other line to see who I was talking to. When he came over to my apartment and someone knocked on my door ( I never answer my door if I do not know the person), and I didn't answer it, he accused me of not answering it because I was having an affair and that person on the other side of the door was the person I was having an affair with. He was very insecure. I wound up getting a place with him and found out that he was very jealous and very much insecure and even started to meet a woman in pretense to train for the mini marathon 3 days before the event. He wound up throwing me agains the wall ONE time. It is not a good situation to be in. No matter what you do, you will never change him or help him. He has to be able to help himself. It was the best thing for me to get away from that situation. He will still call me on occasion and I will not ever tell him where I live. He begs me to let him come over. He somehow got my number.

I now have one of the best boyfriends ever. He respects me and is not jealous or possesive. He has his own issues, but don't we all. These little issues are the ones we can live with. The possessive and insecure ones do not ever lead to good relationships no matter how much you want them to or how much you think you can change or help them. Best wishes to you. You can find someone else who will respect and love you with what you really deserve. My prayers are with you. Remember that honesty and communication and faith are very important in every relationship. The communication he is doing is demanding and is not right. He sounds controlling and possesive and you deserve much more. Think about what you really miss. Do you miss what you want him to be?

Answer 4

It seems that in one instant that you want to break up with him and move on with your life or you want to be with him and try to work things out but you are not sure because of the things that he has done but in a way it is like he is stalking you. You say you still have feelings for him but think about it ,is it love or lust now or are those thoughts there because you don't know what to do with them, It should be pretty simple, you either want to get with him and talk things over and get back together or you want to tell him that you don't want to be in the relationship anymore and why you feel that way. Don't dwell on this anymore then you have to or you will never figure it out and it will always be on you mind, so you have to make a decision about what you want to do and make sure that you are comfortable with that decision.

Answer 5

I am sure this guy wants to be in control. He couldn't handle all of his messed up thoughts during your relationship, and he cannot handle them now either. That is sad, but actually no longer your problem. You were trustworthy, but he chose not to see it. Too bad.

This guy has trust issues and needs professional help, as far as I can see. Just this thing, to text 37 times in two hours!! Help!!

You need to set up boundaries and tell him that his behavior is bad.

Jealousy is like an illness, and as long as he is sick, your being together is going to make you unhappy eventually.

Answer 6

file harassment charges, and look into a restraining order. 37 texts in 2 hours is really excessive...not to mention he broke up with you, so he needs to get over it. you're trying to, so should he. i can about imagine what lengths he'd go to or what future relationships he could ruin if you let this continue. my most recent ex had 2 of his ex's who would constantly call him or randomly show up, even so much as got a hold of my cell and would call me. there is a point when enough's enough....and to me he hit that mark. these other women calling my ex and myself put ALOT of strain on things, and led to that relationships demise, which is sad....he was a great guy, but i couldn't deal with the drama....stop him before he hurts your happiness.

Answer 7

CHANGE YOUR NUMBER! He sounds like a Quack and that he Can't move on and He wants to Play these games of His and Want you to Play along in the process....The feelings you Think you have for him Still aren't Love, it's Pity on His Crazy ***.....BE DONE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

gosh! i am havin the same problem. me and my bf have been on and off and all bc he thinks i dont love him as much as he loves me...when u figure out what to do...tell me!

Answer 9

Assure him that you are happy with him. Any human can misunderstand or self assume after all we all are imperfect. Convey your concerns and everything will be alright.

Answer 10

..he is needy and clingy....get rid of him...besides, he doesnt trust you and sounds like he's always on your back...