I have a 2 and 4 year old and am planning a 4 day 3 night trip with my husband to get away before baby number 3 arrives (I'm 3 months pregnant). I'm leaving them with their grandmother. I feel so bad for them cause they'll miss mommy and daddy. I've never left them for this long. I'm afraid I won't have fun because I'll be worried and missing them BUT... I really need this break and I haven't been on a vacation for many years. Any advice to ease the pain of leaving them? Thanks.
2007-02-26 05:23:39 · 15 answers · asked by mamalori 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Honey, I could go on all day! I understand how you feel, b/c I have 4 kids myself! Only...we are not fortunate enough for them to have great grandparents that love to spend time with them, so our getaways are way to few and far between! I DREAM of going on a weekend break w/out my children,..and yes, I feel bad about those thoughts sometimes, but hey, I never saw a rulebook that said just because you have kids, you don't deserve a life anymore!!!! You are a person, and are worthy of enjoying time with your husband and time alone to pamper yourself! And the fact that you are a mom, makes you even MORE worthy of those things than a childless woman. Afterall, a happy mommy makes a better mommy! :) (much better than an over-stressed one). so relax and enjoy it while you can!
2007-02-26 06:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, know the feeling. After a long stint w/o a vacation, I was ready for one. The wife was ready for one, but had a hard time leaving the kids for a few days...so, she did not enjoy herself...neither did I.
You see the kids every day and they know you love them. You will have a hard time leaving, but you need to. You owe it to yourself for some personal time. A half hour after your gone, if the kids are kept occupied, it will make it easier on them. Calling only reinforces what they mean to you.
BOTTOM LINE: If you can't leave them for 3-4 days for some personal time, without worrying about them constantly, then don't go. You and your husband will be miserable for 3-4 days if all you do is think about the kids – THINK ABOUT EACH OTHER. You may as well just stay home and imagine a pretend vactation.
Go, sleep in and catch up on some of the things you and your husband have probably overlooked for some time – intimacy without interruption :)
2007-02-26 13:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have left my kids for the weekend before and was worried about this too. They are little also. They had more fun than I did. Grandma always spoils them. They will have a vacation too. Of course they did have times where they cried and wanted mommy. We talked to them on the phone and told them we would all go out to dinner when we got home. This celebrated them being great for grandma and us being back together as a family. Everything will be great- don't show them you are worried, show them that you are exited to let them have a vacation with grandma.
2007-02-26 13:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look...here is an opportunity to put your attention on your number 1 and number 2 concern....First you have to take care of yourself so you can be the mother and wife that you should be...Second...your husband should come before your children (but you know that rarely happens...how can it with 2 little ones on your hip)...So leave the guilt trip and enjoy and reconnect with your husband...He so needs this time with you and so do you...it will make a happier more connected marriage...your children will survive...and be better for it with a rejuvinated mommy...Wearing the guilt as a badge of honor to show what a good mommy you are...is a waste of time and energy. Have a great time!
2007-02-26 13:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are basing your guilt on the assumption that while this is a fun trip away for you and your husband, it will not be a fun time for your children. Essentially you are planning to be miserable, and assuming they will be miserable also.
If you change your perspective to be that EVERYONE is going on a holiday, just not to the same place, it'll be more fun. When my children were little I remarried, and my husband and I wanted a honeymoon without kids. So we arranged "mini-holidays" for each of them, and went on ours. They LOVED it!
My suggestion is that rather than viewing this trip as YOUR chance to get away, spend time with your little ones listing off all the things THEY could choose to do with grandma. What things do they get to eat at grandma's that they don't at home? Where can they go for an outing? Where will they sleep? What special snuggle-toy are they taking? Wrap your mind and theirs around this being a holiday for THEM before the new baby comes, and you'll be able to leave knowing they're having the time of thier lives.
Then you need to remember that giving your children new and exciting experiences is not something to be guilty about - it is something to be proud of, and it's what parenting is all about. Even tiny little birds have wings and teaching them at a young age that they can spread their wings a little and you'll cheer them on is a great thing. They'll be talking about their big adventure for a long time to come, and will learn that they can be apart from you, have fun, and come home and tell you about it without feeling guilty that they had fun without you.
Have a great time.
2007-02-26 13:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by JS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to realize that having a happy, adjusted marriage is crucial to your children's happiness. It is so easy to put the marriage on the back burner, but it's a huge mistake. You two were a couple before you had the kids and it's essential you stay a couple once the kids start arriving.
Try to enjoy your vacation break because you're probably not going to have another in a long, long time. If you are 100% confident that your children are being well cared for, STOP WORRYING. Children are as blessed by their grandparents, as grandparents are as blessed by their grand-kids.
2007-02-26 15:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry they will still love you no matter what. Go and have fun with your husband. I was the same way for the first year my daughter was born, But at the same time it's feels good to leave them with a love one, which you are. You will thank me for telling you to go on this trip. Also to make your self feel better call them at least once or twice a day just to see how things are going and make sure one of those calls are at night so that you can read to them or at least hear them say good night to you. GO AND HAVE FUN YOU WON'T REGRET THIS. : - )
2007-02-26 13:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only advice I can give is to talk to them and explain that you will be back. The 2 y/o prob won't miss you too much, but the 4 y/o might miss you and be afraid to let you out of their sight for a couple of days upon return.
2007-02-26 13:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by Indiana Jones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave small gifts from mom and dad. Even small notes saying mommy and daddy love you and miss you. Grandma can give them out when she feels it's needed. Or if they are staying at your house, hide them where they will find them. I'm talking Dollar store toys or books. You can always call from where you are to say goodnight to them. Remind yourself, you have to take care of you first before you are good to them. You will miss them, all parents do, but when you come home, you'll be refreshed and excited to see them. I'm mom to 3 and have used these things when my kids and I were separated.
2007-02-26 13:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your vacation! Just keep it in your mind that your taking a break to come back a refreshed and rejuvenated mommy! Most likely they will be having tons of fun with grandma as well.
2007-02-26 15:32:41 · answer #10 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋