Why is it so hard for parents to disipline their kids?

Answer 1

Cause nobody is allowed to discipline anymore, the rights of children, rights of workers, rights of prisoners. Where are the rights of parents and, employers, teachers etc list is endless!!

I do however, stick the "V" up to anyone who would even dare try to chastize me! Reason is my kids are so far turning out lovely well mannered children with respect for other adults/people. It never did me any harm and I think more should be like me. We let people dictate to us what we should or should not do with our children and complain when things do not go right. Parents need to believe in what they think is right. Show children there are rights and wrongs. A smack never did me any harm at all and I used to fear my dad coming home if we had been naughty. Too many of us are trying to be our childrens friends. Is that not just for an easy life. I don't want to be my childrens enemy but a person that they see as having morals and able to let my hair down without hurting anyones feelings or property.

I don't condone smacking but if the need calls for it then they'll get it! There is no reason why they shouldn't, as long as it is not out of my sheer frustration and that it is really necessary. I will never leave my mark on my child but let them know that i mean business!

Answer 2

Kids can be naturally persistent, stubborn, and resourceful, in addition to their more endearing qualities. As they get older, they learn to manipulate quite well. Some parents I think just aren't well-equipped for this, and don't understand that raising a child is an ever-changing process. Time outs work in toddlerhood, but not so much on middle schoolers. A cute 2 year old stamping their foot and saying NO! is cute, but coming from a 5 year old, should be disciplined. Also, good discipline needs a plan, so the parents can be consistent about it. What consequence should the child have EVERY TIME they commit a particular offense? How many warnings should be given?

Almost anything the parents decide upon is going to work in the end, as long as they stick to it CONSISTENTLY. Even if that choice is to spank for every little offense. I may not agree with it, but I'm fairly certain that the child WILL learn what behavior is expected of them, and to try and comply with those expectations (or expect the consequence). And even if that choice is to always offer an opportunity to apologize and make up for the wrong, and an acceptable alternative to the offense. One sounds too strict to many, the other will undoubtedly sound much too lenient, but in the end both will work if that is what the family is comfortable with, and if they practice it consistently.

I think too many parents discipline their children out of frustration and spur-of-the-moment decisions on how far is too far with a particular behavior. I know I'm guilty of that on my not-so-good parenting days. But I recognize it and try to do better. It works best with a plan that makes sense ahead of time, rather than spontaneous random punishments being thrown out there when the parent finally reaches their limit.

Answer 3

Its because they are not their kids anymore,they belong to the state only when they go out of the way that we wish the parents had control over them.
The other thing is that some parents do not know how to disipline kids,they instead abuse them.
My mother used a stick on me and my brothers and we still love them,visit them and take care of them and most of all we still have so much respect for them.
My child gets punished if he is wrong and we do not have a disipline problem at home.

Answer 4

I don't have a problem disciplining my kids. I have two sons, 28 and 11, so I only have the 11 year old still at home. When my oldest was younger, I would get compliments on how well-behaved he was. I also often get the same compliments on my 11 year old. I'm not sure how I was lucky enough to have them both turn out that way, because I was a single parent for many years with my oldest son. But I do know that I have always been consistent with my discipline, and resisted the temptation to make idle threats. Fair punishment was always carried out. However, at the same time, both of my kids know they are very much loved. Also, I don't have much patience for out of control kids or kids that talk back, so maybe that is why I always made sure I was consistent with the discipline. If you don't start your kids out early in their lives with proper discipline, you will pay for it the whole time they are growing up. Besides, no one likes to be around undisciplined kids.

Answer 5

Discipline is a hard slog. Dealing with the tantrums, enforcing the rules when to give in would be so much easier and instilling a sense of self and self respect in children is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

When your child is crying his/her eyes out because they want to watch the inappropriate TV that all their friends are allegedly watching or stay up past their bedtime or not eat what they've been given it goes against your natural instincts to allow them to continue crying and say no.

The increased 'rights of children' have led to already weak parents being bullied by their own offspring, with little or no back up from official sources available. Some 'common sense' parenting classes for those who need them and a little less championing of 'teenage rights' wouldn't go amiss in the current climate.

Personally I don't have a problem disciplining my children so far(never say never)-the rules are quite clear and have been from a very early age and are not deviated from regardless of the size of the strop. In fact the bigger the strop the higher the likelihood you'll be losing a privilege not gaining one.

I'm just pleased that despite the media portrayal I'm quite clearly not the only 'draconian parent' on the block!

Answer 6

It's down to society today. Parents,teachers,law & order...all the rights of these authority figures have been handed over to the child and we have all gone soft. I think the human rights bill which was brought in for the right reasons has been hijacked and used for the wrong reasons. Along with the human rights bill, political correctness is also to blame for some of it. Parent's don't know where they stand these days and are scared of being accused of abuse if they smack their children..and worse still is the fact that most young children and teenagers know they have rights too.
When discussions about smacking have reared, the arguments against is that it teaches children about violence....well excuse me but they seem to be doing that anyway...at least when we were allowed to smack without fear...it gained a bit of respect..albeit brought about by fear of a smack but it made life a touch easier from a parent and teachers point of view. When teenagers today decide they will do something and the parent says no.....they know they can just do it anyway...and what will happen....probably nothing cause they haven't been brought up with the phsycological deterrent that smacking creates. Luckily my teenagers respect me enough that when I tell them that they cannot go out..they don't but I can easily see how some mothers especially cannot keep control over their teenagers. I also feel that the breakdown of the 2 parent family has also taken away a teaching of respect that is gained from the observation of a usual mother/father relationship.
Before I am blasted down in flames from people shouting out about the genuine cases of child abuse in our society it seems to me we have done what we always do....punish the many for the sake of the few...(which seems to be true in many areas of society today)...and lets face it child abusers will abuse anyway whether smacking is allowed or not...and whether the parents or the children have the rights....

Answer 7

I do not know why it is so hard for some parents. I do believe that some parents are scared of what other people may think. They are worried about making their child feel unloved or they do not want to seem like they are abusing their children.

It really bothers me when I'm out and I see children talking back to their parents. Kicking and screaming at them, not listening and running around like wild animals. Being disrespectful and ill-mannered.

I do not have a problem with discipline and my boys are well mannered, respectful, smart and they know they are loved. Whenever they are somewhere I do not get any bad feedback from them. I always, here wow your children are so well behaved. They are the sweetest little things, etc etc. They still have fun and do what children do.

Answer 8

For one, as a mom to 3, society won't let us discipline our kids. Too many people want to get involved when a parent decides what discipline works best for them. Many are afraid to discipline because of that. Others don't know how to discipline. They are lost as to what works, what's allowed, and what their child will respond to. Not that I endorse spanking, but look at the 50's and 60's, we didn't have near the violence, the out of control children or the other stuff going on. Children back then knew if they got in trouble outside the home, when they got home it would be worse. Kids now a days are taught to call CPS in preschool. They aren't afraid of punishment at home, cause they just threaten the parent.

Answer 9

Well some parents just don't care and let there kids do whatever. Other parents give there kids anything they want so they don't feel the need for punishment because there kids can do no wrong. Some parents have fear of the law and what could happen if they do. And others do punish and set down the law.

Answer 10

Does discipline have to mean 'smacking'?
I did sometimes smack my son when he was younger, it was an immediate punishment for a certain behaviour - he knew and understood the link. Taking away treats/priviliges later in the day - he couldnt remember why it was happening.
My advice is
Be consistant, give warnings before resorting to punishment, and follow any 'threats' through ie grounded/no pocket money etc. The minute you back down you have lost it. Dont give in to promises - your kids can be crafty - even younger children will say what you want to hear.

Some parents are too scared to say no, incase their children wont like them.
You are their parent first, friend second. Sometimes you have to make hard desicions which you wont like making and they wont like receiving.