I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months. I know it sounds short but we have grown very close to each other, and close to God as a couple. We love each other very much, and marriage comes up in conversation frequently. Everyday that passes makes me even more sure that he is the one I want to spend my life with and make my life with. But I find myself wanting marriage more and more, but we are still somewhat young and still have careers to build and goals to achieve. Would getting married beforehand hinder that, or would getting engaged be better, and just stay engaged for a while? Would engagement somehow help us achieve those things, together?
2007-02-26 05:07:19 · 20 answers · asked by Littleone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would disagree with a lot of people in this post. If you are a mature individual, 4 months is plenty of time to get to know someone and know whether or not this is someone you could spend the rest of your life with. If you know, then that's all that matters.
I got engaged after only 5 months, but I knew he was the one. We've now been together a year, and we're getting married in May. I have no regrets about getting engaged that soon. I am a mature 25 year old educated woman. I am in the beginning of my career but I feel being engaged nor getting married affects your career.
Do whatever feels right to you. Few people are lucky enough to find someone and just know they're the one that soon, but enjoy it! To those on the outside looking in it doesn't seem long enough, but they don't know the depths of your relationship. Only you and him do! I hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-02-26 05:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A long engagement is a nice thing. An engagement is you both pledging your love for each other and to each other and the world, it is a pledge of marriage in the future at some point. However it sounds like you need to be engaged for awhile. Weddings take time and money to plan and are meant to last forever. I would wait until you have been together for a year then if you still want to get married I would go to your church and go to couples classes together. It will help strengthen the foundation of your relationship and prepare you for a life together and then you might think about planning a wedding maybe a year after that.
2007-03-02 00:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with most people who have answered your post. My Fiancee and i knew each other for only 6 weeks when we got engaged. We didnt plan on having a quick wedding, but we wanted to formally recognise what we both knew we were feeling. It has now been two years and we are getting married in September. Not even once have i wondered if i made the right descision. I love him more today than i thought i ever could, and i cant wait to make him my husband.
If the only thing keeping you from getting engaged is the fact thats its only been 4 months, then do it. But if you honestly feel that it would be a risky move, then its best to wait. Trust me. When you know, you know. It will become perfectly obvious to you that you cannot live another day without making a commitment to this person and you will know.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 20:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kylee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people get married after only a few months, so it is never too early. Everyone is different.
You say that you have careers and goals to achive before marriage. OK, so get those done and then get married. You can be engaged for as long as it takes.
In my case I was engaged for 5 years! We got engaged when we were 18, but we both wanted to go to college and graduate before marriage. After I graduated we moved in together while he finished up his last year of college. We married a week after he graduated.
Almost 2 years married, and VERY happy :)
Just make sure you talk about all the "big issues" before marriage - kids, finances, etc.
2007-02-26 13:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really great that you want to get married instead of living together. But you do need a little time to be sure. And it's much harder to break it off if you need to after you've become engaged. So, if I were, you, I'd opt for a short engagement rather than getting engaged earlier and planning the wedding for a year or more. If, after a year of dating, you really believe you want to be married, then get engaged and get married a couple of months later with family in attendance. If you want a big reception, you can always have that a bit later.
Good luck, and use your head as well as your heart.
2007-02-26 13:25:59 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how young you two are, but yes 4 months to me is not long enough to know someone, and yes, you both have a career you are trying to build, so i would put of the marriage thing off until at least 4 more months or longer, if you feel the way you say, it won't hurt either one of you to wait, you both will be there when the time comes. Maybe a promise ring or something like that. Good luck
2007-02-26 13:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to be dating at least a year, hopefully longer - for the two of you to get to know each other better, for each of you to know each other's families and friends, and to go through all the holidays, etc. together. Then, be engaged for at least 6 or 8 months before getting married.
Finish your education first, gain your independence by starting your career, moving out on your own and paying rent and bills, and learning more about the world in general through life experience. Then, you will know if you are ready when you have become a mature woman, and can bring your best to a husband.
2007-02-26 16:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is going to help a whole lot, but i am in the exact same boat. I have only know my bf for 6mos and weve been dating for 4mos, we have also been living together for the better part of that as well. At first I was afraid that it wouldnt work out at all since we were rushing a bit of it. Circumstances as they were I had to move in immediatly. But to the contrary it has worked out beyond our wildest dreams. We are very happy together and he is working on our engagement right now, Ive already choose a ring and Im almost positive he's going to ask me anyday now. We talk about marriage on almost a daily basis and I know we will be happy together. The only thing we keep thinking is if this is going to be the rest of our lives why put it off? We dont wanna wait for rest of our happy lives to begin so we will start it now. Were not sure on how long of an engagment we will have but I really doubt it will be any longer than 6 months. Im sure if you feel you two are right together and you know you are happy then you will be even happpier married. everyone else says take your time but sometimes the train will leave without you! so dont wait to long! Bonne chance!!
2007-02-26 13:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tavia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say stay single. The first couple of months in a relationship is magical. There is no need to rush and be married or even engaged. You should give it at least a year before getting engaged.
2007-02-26 13:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think knowing someone for 4 months is not long enough to judge whether this person is someone who is suitable to make a lifelong committment to. What is wrong with being exclusive to one another until some time has passed? If you're planning to be together fro the rest of your lives, what difference does it make if you're engaged or whatever?
2007-02-26 13:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋