We're pretty sure she cut her brother's computer power cable with scissors, and she definitely "snitched" her friend's Blue Peter badge during a visit to the friend's house, because we found it hidden in her bedroom later. The scary part is she denies things quite credibly, even suggesting to the friend's father places he could look for it at home! Lecturing her doesn't seem to get through - anyone know what works?
2007-02-26 04:52:27 · 11 answers · asked by drbrkeeping 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sit down with her and let her know that you will not be mad if she tells you the truth, no matter how bad it is. Talk to her calmly and rationally. Let her know that you can be trusted. Keep it positive, because if she learns now to feed off negative attention, she might continue to do that for a very long time.
If she tells you, ask her why she did it. Listen to her. Then give your opinion of why it is wrong to do those things.
If she denys it, and you know she is, don't give her any special attention whatsoever. Answer with "Okay," instead of the full approach. Maybe she will experience the guilt feeling, she is old enough.
2007-02-26 05:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Rachael T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give one last try without intimidating her to let her know how wrong this is. If this fails speak with the school, GP, surgery nurse about getting her help. If this goes on too long she will become unpopular and could lead to many upsetting things including bullying. Better attempting to get it sorted out now than leaving until a critical situation is reached. Children often do things naughty at that age and deny it but if it is continuous I think a parent has that gut feeling that there is more to it that normal childlike behaviour. Hope all goes well.
2007-02-26 09:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you will a carrot and stick approach
carrot = incentive for telling the truth
stick = punishment for lying
As a start you could say that you do not trust her and you will hold her responsible for every bad thing which happens and this will stop when she takes responsibility for some of the things she has done.
You could also offer an amnesty where you will not punish her for things she has done if she owns up.
I'm sure you can think of a few things too.
If you have to resort to cctv and polygraph tests then it has probably gone too far.
edit: Dora's advice sounds very good
2007-02-26 05:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most children go through this at one time or another, praise and reward her when she tells the truth and punish her when she is being deceiptful. Take away her favourite toys or stop her from seeing her friends. It is a problem but do not get too stressed about it if you start correcting her now it should not lead to bigger things. Is there any sibling jealousy that could be the cause of it. Good luck to you but you are not on your own with this one.
2007-02-26 05:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest very strongly that these episodes are more than just the taking or destroying of things. She may be seeking attention. (children dont care whether its negative or positive) Has anything happened in the home recently? a death, new partner of a parent or close family member, is she being bullied. Try to avoid what she is doing and steer her conversation towards what is going on in her little life at the moment.
2007-02-26 05:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I must admit it's quite worrying.
Maybe by showing her how important it is to be able to trust her.
I sometimes have this problem with my daughter.
I do remind her that there's on the three of us, and that I need to trust her as she's growing up, so that I can give her more independence, and that no matter what anybody says, if I can trust her, I'll be happy enough.
I may listen to what others have to say, but at the end of the day, she will be the one I keep my trust to.
It does work.
2007-02-26 05:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is teaching her this behavior? Is anyone in your home dishonest? My guess is she's learning it from someone. Perhaps spending more time with her and getting to know her would resolve the issue. Color with her, have tea parties with her, take a walk in nautre with her. Take her to the library ... there are plenty of books for children about this and you can read them together! She is still just a baby and needs your guidance. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 05:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by divinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to teach her that what shes doing is wrong, try treating her every time she tells the truth, take away things when she lies or when shes being disrespectful. Put her in a corner if you have to, hard to get em in there but you can do it!
Your the parent you are the boss!
2007-02-26 05:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time she does it and you find the truth make her face the consequences of her act: if she hides something and you find it (the badge, for exemple), make her give it back personaly to it´s owner and apologize. Be smart and observe her to get to her before she gets to you, it´s time to give her real attention before it gets worse.
2007-02-26 05:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by Juliana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This girl needs help now!!!!!!!!! Get her into counseling before she gets any older. This is a very serious situation!!!
2007-02-26 05:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋