Is it healthy to placate a child's failings by saying he/she is special?

Question

Or should the message be: You're at a disadvantage, now what can you do to work through this disadvantage?

Answer 1

Ok you need to tell them to simply do better next time. Do NOT tell them it's ok caus etheir special b/c then they'll think that no matter how many time s they screw up in their life it will be fine cause they're special....

Answer 2

Depends on how old the child is. If its a teenager they're pretty much going to think you're calling them stupid. Ifs its a grade schooler then you will need to elaborate further because the last thing any child needs is an excuse with no follow up or no solutions. Through this they'll only learn they have an excuse for their shortcomings and they'll leave it at that without further attempt at doing better or getting anything right. Sometimes you have to take into consideration the way that particular child learns, not all children get things with the same basic instructions. So before you give up on them and write them off as challenged you should first try alternative ways of teaching and you'll find you can get most children up to speed.

There are people with real learning disadvantages such as dyslexia who excel and do even better than children with no disability. The key to teaching those children is through having come to know how they see the world or learn, and then teaching them their lessons in a manner that they understand it based on how they see things.

Answer 3

Is this child actually retarded in some way or have a disability? If not there is no way it is appropriate to make exuses for them by saying they are special. I work with special needs kids and there is a big difference between just being bad certain subjects and being "special ed."
WHat is the disadvantage this child has? If they are just bad a certain subjects, then they just need to focus more and work harder, and the question I have for you is if you and the child are willing to do extra work. If you arent willing to take extra time to help you are cheating them out of possibilities for a good future.

Answer 4

Every child has something they can do well. The object is to find it. They may not be good at all things but they can do something. When you find out what it is, encourage the child in that area. It's dangerous to tell a child they are at a disadvantage. It's easier to steer them in a different direction once you find something they do well. If it's schoolwork, then work with them to get it done, even get a tutor. Otherwise, as a parent it's your responsibility to be positive with your child.

Answer 5

I think the disadvantage statement sounds like...we know you have problems but we can work at it to see if we can get you to do better. Special sounds more like you have a problem and beyond help (you were born that ways so, oh well).
Disadvantage sounds better (you at least know there may be someway to move past this), no body wants to be special (it sounds like your beyond help, blame nature and never strive to get past it).

Answer 6

It depends on how 'special' the child is. But, overall I think placation is a cop out.

Answer 7

You're being very vague with your question, so it's difficult to give you the proper answer.

If one kid is special, all kids are special. Don't feed an ego, whether it be a depressed one or an energetic one.

Why do they have to do anything at all? What's the situation here?

Answer 8

i like the last idea about saying "what can we do to do better next time.

however if the child is always failing maybe its time to say "your wonderful anyways".

Answer 9

well i really dont know but i should say that its probaly not the right choice i thinks you should tell that person the turth dont lie to them

Answer 10

NO