Child custody question: For the first three months that he left, I have the children most of the time. He is a high powered banker so travels alot, etc. I then said, why not give him the kids most of the time. For two months, he had them three weeks a month, I had them one.
He complained, complained that I DIDN'T HAVE THE KID ENOUGH. The last three months I have had them most of the time because he has gone on ski vacations and away with his girlfriend ( who he lets stay over when the kids are with him but that is for another day). Anyway, starting this month, he has them one week, I have them the next, etc, etc, Monday to Monday. He now says that he doesn't like that schedule that I have the kids TOO MUCH and he is going to take me to court. Am I missing something?
2007-02-26 04:48:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Why are you allowing him to dictate your life? That is what he is trying to do. Personally get you a good lawyer and have a court order to when and where the kids stay. Make him stick to it and if he complains oh well ,these are his children too. He is playing head games with you. This also disrupts the kids life not knowing when they will be with their father, plus this way you can make plans ahead of time to do what you want.
2007-02-26 05:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the first thing you both need to do is get the children into some form of counseling. This batting them back and forth like a tennis ball can't be doing their emotions any good. Have you or him even thought about what this is doing to your child/children?? Children are the poor victims in a nasty divorce like this and the majority of the time the parents are too wrapped up in their own feelings to even bother worrying about the children's. Yes, I say go to court and set up court ordered visitation and custody. Then make sure that these children have a set routine with that. No changing it just because one of you has a date or something. When you have children with someone, it's for life. It's not something that you can turn off and on like a light switch. Never use the children as leverage. Some day when they look back on the life they lived with you and their father, they are going to remember how they were treated. Whether you and him are married or not, you have to do what's best for the children to have a loving, stable home life. Not what's convenient for you or your ex.
2007-02-26 13:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just being aggravating. If you don't have a court order of legal custody than now is the time to get one. Think about what you really want and what is best for the children. Then keep a calendar of when you have them and when he does.
These kids don't need to know about the problem but they do need consistancy.Ask for what you want when or if you go to court over this matter agian.
2007-02-26 13:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ann D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the faulty "Y" chromosome on his part. Start documenting what time and days you have the children to take to court with you to show that you are sharing custody equally. If one of the children is old enough to understand what's going on (without it causing problems) I would have them sign or initial your documentation so your ex can't say that you're just making up times. Good luck!
2007-02-26 13:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he doesnt know what he wants! you need to decide what arrangement will suit you and then if practical discuss this with him, you have rights too! the kids should be able to freely see their parents on a regular consistent basis that fits with both the parents schedules and know that the arrangement is flexible enough to meet their needs from time to time. you dont say how old your children are, if they are older (say 8 and over) why not include them by asking them what arrangements they would like. if your husband travels a lot, what happens to the kids then? do they travel with him, do they come stay with you? the most important thing is to remember that the kids need tofeel safe, secure and loved, so you and your husband need to sort this out asap
2007-02-26 12:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by sydneygal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like hes being a jerk.you can't please him no matter what the arrangements are,to me it sounds like he wants full custody,and that he don't want you to see the child.Do you have a boyfriend that the child calls daddy and if you do he might be jealous my ex was this way when i got a new boyfriend.And i think a week with one parent then vice versa is a excellent way for the child to spend equal amount of time with both parents,i went through the same thing you are,all i can say is some guys are jerks and it sounds like he is one of the guys that is a jerk.
2007-02-26 12:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by marines_sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have been missing the fact that he is an a**hole. Get an attorney immediately, call legal aid in your area if you cannot afford one on your own. As someone already said, he's up to something - like trying to get full custody.
2007-02-26 13:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a family counselor. You are both so involved that you can't see the situation objectively and will end up hurting the kid. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-02-26 12:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by jezza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are missing something....a court order stating custody, visitation. You need a legal agreement stating these things and stick to it.
2007-02-26 12:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it sounds like your ex is just trying to make things difficult for you. Make sure you write down/record his differing points of view and let the judge decide who your children should be around.
2007-02-26 13:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋