My Ex (we hav been broken up a year adn a half after a 3 year relationship) is very depressed and suicidal right now. I know that I have always been able to make him feel better and I really think I can help... but he mentally abused me so bad that I think I might get caught back in it. What would you do if you were me? Leave him to cope on his own, or help him out?
2007-02-26 04:45:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
No. He is your ex.
2007-02-26 04:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends...
Only you know what you will and won't do...
Some emotionally crippled people know nothing but manipulation to get what they want. They don't do what they do to be evil or mean, but because that is the way they were taught by example and are only going with what they know... These people don't realize why others get hurt by it when they don;t know how to be any other way.
They are usually very honest... if you are willing to listen to what they are saying and not what you want to hear... Which is the flip side of that kind of nature... (these two types usually find one another.)
Like say your mom was always the type that denied everything... maybe even took a little sedative or two to deal with a detrimental sunny outlook on everything because God forbid anyone be willing to hurt them by acting out of character with their expectations of them? It is yet another subtle form of control through denial...
That person pairs well with a wounded needy emotionally disabled person who is all too willing to prove them wrong...
It is like one trying to help the other build something but neither one has the instructions... Imagine the mess that would cause. One fueling the illness of the other...
It is therefore not healthy to be around people like this... and since you have already stated how you will probably get reeled in again, chances are... You will do just that. You have already made up your mind.
We all pick and chose our drama... It just comes down to how much you are willing to compromise yourself to help someone else? Because you always do... There is always an expenditure.
2007-02-26 05:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As mean as this is going to sound. You need to look out for you especially when your describing a relationship where you have helped him deal with his depression and so forth, only to have him misuse you. You just doing a stop-gap measure everytime and that isn't fixing the problem. He sounds like he is seriously mentally ill with an affliction that needs to be diagnosed and treated by a medical doctor. The best thing you can do is contact his family or really close friends and have them take him to a medical center to be evaled and make it clear to them that he is suicidal. My mom did this for thirteen years with my dad and finally had to leave him when he threatened to kill her in the middle of a bi-polar/schitzo related delusion. Trust me, really bad thing to be a kid and watch it all go down, but it is almost worse for an adult. Because they don't ever bounce back from stuff like that, the way kids do.
take care of yourself and leave him to others.
Good Luck.
2007-02-26 05:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
samesituation with me but different story... because we're just together for 1 year and a half.... breaking up is really hard, especially when you really love that person too much! right? i tried to cut off all the means of our communication and ask my family that if ever this man calls tell him that i'm not here and not available. but deep inside me is different... i feel that i still want to communicate with him and talk all those matters that regarding our status. but contrary to my mother's wants i communicated with him and he was like crying... he feels really sorry for that. i opened doors so that we can communicate with each other, i explained to him the things that start our arguments and how bad i felt after he said all those bad things for me. and as we come to the bottom point in which we agreed that we have to let each other go and that we will both move on together.
>it's also good to let him know the things and explained to him that things you both need to know. i read an article that says "your accountable for every heart that you broke". it's also your conscience if he kills himself because of you... i think it would be better to clear your conscience. just tell him that you didn't want to take him back. and if he needs your help then he must agree on the terms and condition you set if he doesn't, then it's good to leave him and cope on his own because you already gave him a chance but then he doesn't meet your terms...
>so, it's your decision girl. try to give him a chance but make sure you set your standards because you must also be careful not to break your heart again.
2007-02-26 05:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him. You sound like a compassionate person and I wonder if you could really live with yourself if he did kill himself and you did nothing. Just keep your guard up and don't let him pull you back in. You were strong enough to get out, so use that strength. The lord wants us to help everybody even our enemies. I know it will be hard, but you can do it.
2007-02-26 04:53:32 · answer #5 · answered by almostcrazee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really hate him or the behaviors that he has done in the past, it sounds to me that you still have feelings for him, if you feel that you could help him without hurting yourself then go for it otherwise call the authorities and let them deal with him as a danger to himself
2007-02-26 05:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by ourlittleposseof12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you can be at danger by helping him out, then dont help him. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to take care of yourself first. Besides, Im sure that he has parents and friends and girlfriends to helphim out.
2007-02-26 04:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not your responsibility to help him, although you may choose to do so.
Keep in mind that if you decide not to help him, you are not responsible for his actions.
My suggestion is to contact him, let him know that you heard he was down, suggest that he seek professional help, and offer to help him find a therapist. If he refuses, then let him be.
2007-02-26 04:54:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jay 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no i wouldnt in my case id see him dead first
2007-02-26 10:13:36 · answer #9 · answered by arniesmum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋