I am the mother of 2 children, my oldest is 10 and a complete joy to be around. My son is 5 and was until December, I was mugged at gunpoint and was hit over the head with the gun. My son was with me and saw and heard everything. This was pretty traumatic for both of us. I have gotten over it. He hates me now. He doesn't want to be around me and when we go anywhere, he throws a fit to stay at home, but I can't just leave him alone. I used to be his best friend, he would sleep with me and cuddle with me, but since the incident with the robber, he doesn't want anything to do with me. He's in counseling but that just is not helping. Is there anything I can do to help him have a relationship with him.
2007-02-26 04:41:24 · 9 answers · asked by kirstycooley2 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
well maybe he's in shock since that incident happen and i recommend you going to special doctors for help but before doing that i would like to give you few advice
try to be friendly with him ask him what he wants and try acting like his friend not a mom and remember kids always say something negative to you when they get angry but infact they love you it's just that they can't express like us adult, i remember when i was small i use to say those stuff to my grandma just to show my anger but infact now i love her very very very much. but dont ever let them do whatever they want, if you think it's wrong stop them but as i told you like his friend not like his mom because kids are not yet fully grown or able to understand the consequences of everything unless they know for sure. and anything you say to them in negative manner is his enemy to them. Just try to make him laugh and try to be even more friendly with him if nothing helps then i strictly recommend you follow the first advice.
2007-02-26 04:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by slash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a drastic response for telling him just to go bed. I would definitely say he is lacking something, maybe attention. He certainly got your attention with that comment. I would have definitely held him a little longer than a hug goodnight the night he said that. But I do think that kids at that age don't understand the finality of "kill" and "death". I wouldn't get too upset over it. He could've picked it up from a buddy or overheard an adult use the same action. Kids have the biggest ears and catch more than you think when we talk. You also might want to think back a day or two and think of anything that may have upset him. Boys tend to hold things in for a while before exploding with something like that. You can almost always pinpoint what went wrong to make him so upset. He was not upset about going to bed, I would almost bet that there was something else he was upset about. You should create an open dialog with your son. You really need to start creating those open lines of communication with your son early in life so that he can feel free to tell you when he's upset about something. I have two sons. It's only gets more interesting the older they get.
2016-03-29 01:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by Robin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be frustrating, but kids his age are still learning the concept of rational vs. irrational. He still doesn't grasp that lens that helps him decide yet. He probably has a fear that you will leave him figuratively or practically through death or by choice. It sounds like he is pushing you away to protect himself and young children can't really rationalize that these things just happen sometimes because the world isn't a perfect place. The staying at home thing is part of it. He feels most secure with you and him both at home so that nothing "bad" can happen. You need to find a counselor that can maybe visit him at home, where he feels safest at first to help him have a positive experience talking to them. Whatever you do no matter how desperate and frustrated you feel keep reaching out to him, because he'll never feel secure if he is always waiting for you to leave him.
Good Luck
2007-02-26 04:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your situation and i can imagine how hard this would be as i also am a mother of two. Since this took place he might have related it to -- when im with mom bad stuff can happen. It will just take him awhile to realize that a lot of good things happen when i am with mom. Dont take it personal, it is not anything you have done. I would not press the issue either, if he is getting reminded about this in his sessions it will only be reminding him of his own feeling and views. Once he has forgotten things will start to change again. Dont dwell on the past and ignore his little remarks. He does not really mean them but do not give him any attention on them as that is what he is trying to get. Instead fill your life full of fun family activities, positive things. And deal with the tantrums in public like you would have if you or your older child had doen these in earlier occasions. good luck to you. Things seem hard right now but focus on the future, it will be better and easier untill they learn about girls. Lol =)
2007-02-26 04:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about what happened to you and this is just adding insult to injury. It sounds to me as he is angry with you for not being strong enough to deal with the robber and at the same time he's still affraid to go out with you in case it happens again. Children at that age believe that a parent is all powerful and that belief was shatterred for him and he doesn't know how to deal with it except to strike out at you. Keep in mind that a 5 year old is not a logical being as in adult logic. So, he is not acting logically, he is acting emotionally and subconsciously. You have to be extremely patient and no matter what he throws at you verbally, just continue being his loving mommy and I believe that eventually he will heal and come around again. Keep him in counselling however, because counselling is not an instant fix and sometimes it takes a while for the results to show. I wish you both well.
2007-02-26 04:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you can do more than counseling, I just wanted to say I'm very sorry that happen to you. I hope that eventually he realizes that it was not your fault that this happened. He may not realize this till he is older.
2007-02-26 04:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by LiveInLove14 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He repeated somthing he heard. bottom line he needs to seek help right away!!!
2007-02-26 04:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by michael m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring him to a house of prayer (church). He needs to know God...if you don't go to church, then both of you guys can go. You have to find a church where the preaching is being done right so your son can go back to his old ways of thinking you're his best friend. I have seen similar situations like this and trust me, God is in the miracle working business.
2007-02-26 04:47:42 · answer #8 · answered by Saved and Sanctified 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
get rid of him
2017-01-12 14:58:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋