Well i have this girl who i was dating for maybe 10 or 11 months and she dumped me saying that she needed to be single for a while to get to learn herself. Back in August she cheated on me but we got through it and everything seemed fine until like 2 months ago when all this happened. Here is the catch, she loves me and wants to be with me but i met anouther girl. I want to be with this new girl and see how things go. How do i tell my ex that i dont want to be more than just friends with her without hurting her. I mean she hurt me alot so many times and now just because the rolls have changed now she wants to see me. I went out with the new girl this sat night and the next day my ex asked me what i did. I told her because i dont lie and she got all mad. Then she asked if she could see me and i said it would be fine. Then she asked if we could hook up. I told her i dont know but i know what the right answer really is. She told me she would call me later that day and never did
2007-02-26 04:28:59 · 12 answers · asked by lethalx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know i want to be with this new girl but i really dont want to hurt my ex. Im to nice of a person i guess. This new girl treats me so good and we have way more in common and such than me and my ex. How can i tell her that its over or what should i do? Thanks
Its funny too because my ex broke up with me and i have only seen her maybe 3 times in the last 2 months. I didnt see or speak to her for about 2 weeks until like friday. It was like she was avoiding me so i figured im moving on. Now that she sees that i have found better NOW she wants to be with me. It sucks
2007-02-26 04:29:24 · update #1
I've been through this before. The thing is with a prideful people jealously is their downfall. The most likely scenario is that your ex doesn't really want you, but she's jealous that another girl has moved in on you and wants to prove to you that she's better than the other girl. Trust me getting back with your ex is a super bad move.
Your best move is to go with this new girl. Put everything you have into your new relationship. I know it sucks having to do this because us nice guys don't want to hurt others. You just have to keep in the back of your mind your ex is going off her pride, it doesn't really have much to do with you. You've found something new, and your ex will too.
There are very few break ups that don't end up messy or with one of the people not liking the other. If your ex confronts you about this just tell her you've found something new and that no matter what happens you'll always have the memories of eachother.
Just let your ex know she'll never be replaced, but you want to move on.
2007-02-26 04:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Advice4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on moving on! Stick with your guns and continue to do so. If you really like this new girl, take a chance on a new love.
When someone has moved on, it usually leaves the other person wanting you more. It's competitive nature and you now become a challenge in their eyes. Sometimes when someone says they need to figure things out, they really do and only realize their mistake of letting you go afterwards. It's not always easy. But love should be easy. It shouldn't be hard, hurtful, painful. It should be the best time of your life! Tell your ex, that you just want to be friends. I know you don't want to hurt her but sometimes the truth hurts.
I would recommend seeing where your new relationship can take you. Hope it's healthier then your last. Happy dating!
2007-02-26 04:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the way it works. When and Ex sees you have moved on to someone else 9x out of 10 they automatically are jealous or they want you back, because they hate the thought of their ex with someone else, My advice is just once don't be the nice guy, I'm not saying act like and a**hole towards her but just be straightforward and to the point with her that you've moved on and that this other girl really makes you happy and that you'd rather be with her and that things just didn't work out or was meant to be between the two of you and tell her it's best that the two of you move on with your lives, seeing as how you're already on the path to doing that I'd say she'll get the picture!
2007-02-26 04:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop worrying about being "too nice of a guy". Be an honest guy, that's the best thing. Be honest with your ex, and tell her that it is time for you to move on and that you don't want to hurt her and that's final. She doesn't need anymore details than that because all she will do is obsess over everything and blame the other girl and it will only cause more problems.
Don't date or string along two girls at the same time. It will only bring you more problems.
Good luck!
2007-02-26 04:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by KOI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having played both roles (the two girls), it's unfair to the new girl, and its unfair to your ex as well. It will hurt your ex for you to move on, but it hurts her more to see a possibility for you two to get back together. It's unfair to the new girl because you're not giving her your full attention. I see that you have moved on. You need to stay consistent and let your ex know that you have moved on without ignoring her or being mean. Just be a "friend" in girl terms. (someone you can talk to) Make sure you're absolutely CLEAR that there is no way you two are getting back together.
2007-02-26 04:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as you probably already know there are some women and men who enjoy seeing others hurting, and I'm assuming that your ex is one of those who say they wanna be with u to keep you dreaming of hope BTW both of you guys, but in realty she just wants someone to drool and suffer for her. You gotta show her that your done with her bull **** and try out this new girl. Keep in mind that nice guys finish last so u gotta grow a back bone to break off this little idea of hers, that she might want to play u AGAIN.
2007-02-26 04:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by catkiss17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you've moved on. You can be polite, but don't call her, don't agree to meet her, don't do anything but be polite, and politely tell her that you've moved on.
What happens next is that she figures out that it might well be over, and she throws the "hail mary" play. She's going to have a sudden crisis, and you're going to be the only one she can turn to. It'll be a car wreck, someone stalking her, money problems, need a ride to work, something.
Don't fall for it. If you do, you'll wind up back here asking how to break it to your current girlfriend.
2007-02-26 04:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by open4one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All break ups hurt. You have no choice but to tell her. Being friends with an ex is a no no if you want this new realtionship to last.
Tell your ex nicely and say its over i found someone who treats me good. She will learn from her mistake.
2007-02-26 04:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the way it always is! Tell her the truth. All you want is friendship. She may not like to hear it but the truth is that she prob only wants you back because have someone else. Now she wants what she can't have. Good luck with this new girl!
2007-02-26 04:34:36 · answer #9 · answered by ChristinaN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she wants you when she can't have you then when she can have you she doesn't want you. I would go with the new girl the old one has proven she is unfaithfull and I think you'll probably end up in the same position you just got out of.
2007-02-26 04:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by 7S282 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋