stay at home mom?

Question

hello, i am a stay at home mother, my son is almost 18 months old. But i am also currently a lil over 7 months preg. I feel bad for my son cause i dnt have that much energy to run and play around with him, i love takeing hm to parks and stuff, bt i dnt have the energy or alot of the times the capability to keep up with him. with cleaning the house all day and chasing a 17 month old i am exausted. my husband is very busy, hes in the military and due to deploy soon, so he is never home, and when he is i dnt like him helping with much i want him to relax. so that make things a bit more exausting, lol. then i dnt have much patience because all of this, im sure its the preg hormones, but sometimes i think im gna go crazy, lol!!! i get irratated so eaily i juz feel i cant relax! does anyone have any ideas of what to do all day or how to stay sane?? :) thank you

Answer 1

My hubby is military too!

I haven't managed to stay at home sane. My son is 1yr old and we are TTC#2.

I would go to family support services and do a moms and tots playgroup, that will get you out.

Email me. [e-mail]

Answer 2

Hello fellow Military Wife,
Well I can tell you from experience you need to get some help. I am also 7 months pregnant with 3 older children age 3-8 and my husband is deployed also. I think number one with a deployment looming over your head it makes your life that much more crazy. As much a I hate to say it after he has left and is gone for a month or so you might actually find it easier to relax.

One thing I have found helpful is a program that is offered here on base is free Saturday child care. With 3 and a half children money is tight and having a saturday afternoon to relax is not only important for me but the children also. I don't know where you are stationed but I am sure most bases have some kind of program in place! If not find a friend or neighbor who might switch on and off with you every other weekend for a few hours, believe me most of them want a break too!!

I think most of all you need to look at things in a new prespective. You are 7 months pregnant and you have a one year old. YOUR HOUSE WILL NOT BE CLEAN ALL THE TIME!! Well at least not if you want to be sane. Sit down learn to relax and get done what you can. Your children will grow so fast enjoy this time while you can. The housework well it stays the same forever!!

Answer 3

Stay at home army wife here. While I have 2 school age boys, I watch a 21 month old while his mom is in the field doing her train up. There are other times that my house is full of SIX boys at once because I try to give another mom of 3 boys (under age 4) a break every once in a while.

The thing that I have found that works FABULOUSLY is to have a schedule. My older boys are on a schedule...get up, dressed, breakfast, meds, teeth, take to school at 8. Run errands, play a little while, Doodlebops at 9:30, blues clues at 10. Educational games/fun til 11. 11 I fix lunch, 11:30 eat, 12 nap time. And then I recharge my batteries...take a nap, read a book, watch tv, etc. It is important to just relax when you can! Pregnancy can be tough but so can chasing an 18 month old around all day! Enjoy your time, do what you can and dont stress. Your son will be just fine!

My husband is set to deploy soon also. Find some wives (live on post?) and get a playgroup together...Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Well my husband was deployed almost through my whole third pregnancy, I had 2 older boys at the time. He even missed the birth, so I had to do it on my own with no family, noone in the delivery room. Now I have 3 boys and am pregant with twins. I have no energy what so ever. I sit with my 20 month old and read lot, that way I am spending time with him, but not having to run and chase him. I also just force myself to move sometimes. I realize it is my responsiblity and often I just want to cry. But I trudge on. It is hard but you have to do what you have to do. The first few months after the baby is born will be harder, but then once he/she starts sleeping, I promise it will get better, then when your husband is back home, you will look back and think. Dang I am one strong woman and you will be very proud of yourself for what you have accomplished.

Answer 5

See if you can do things with another mom who lives close by--if you have a good day invite her kid over to play, and see if your son can hang out at her house sometimes. Help each other with cleaning chores--a lot of stuff is faster and quicker with two people on the job, and it will help both of you keep track of what your trying to get done (you know it's easy to get sidetracked with a little kid around). It will break up the monotony for both you and your son, and it will also help you to stay sane if you have someone to talk to about things. If you don't know anyone see if there's any kinds of programs or activities (church, military stuff, whatever) nearby. You'll meet up with someone who probably needs a 'buddy mom' as much as you do. And even if you don't get everything on your to do list done, try to have dinner (or pizza) already ready when your husband gets home and use that time for the whole family to relax and spend time with each other. Don't waste that time on laundry or sweeping the floor. Your memories together are precious, even if your doing nothing but cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, and you need the wind down time as much as your husband needs it. Even when your husband is gone still have a time of day set when you get 'off work', and you stop trying to do anything but hang out and wind down with your kid.

Answer 6

HI,
I have two babies, a two1/2 year old and 10 month old, Iknow what your going threw, I had the same problem.
I know it's hard, but there are mom groups all over that you can hook up with, and talk, hang out, get out of the house and be your self.
It's hard when you stay at home, you tend to become detached from the outside world, and everyday seems the same with the same chore, mess's to pick up etc....
I understand, You need to make time fore yourself, you are not being selfish you are being human, you are more then just a mother, you are yourself, mother, wife, and friend, and you have to make sure you don't lose that.

Make friends, outside the home, and take time to visit, hang out, laugh, or just take a bath.
You can be a great stay at home mom.......and still have time for yourself.
Find something you enjoy doing, taking a walk, working out, going out to coffee, or reading a book, and make sure you make the time to thst.

Hope I helped.
:)

Answer 7

I know how you fill.My husband works nights/weekends and when I worked I worked days. When I was pregnant with my third child I thought I was going to die. My other two were 4 and 2 at the time. On the weekends I always took a nap when they did and I got a book with 365 things to do with your toddler(there is also one for older kids..I have it now). Some of the activities require just you to set them up and they can have all the fun they want and you can rest.

Answer 8

I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM WITH FOUR BOYS 3-10 YRS. IT'S HARD TO STAY SANE MY HUBBY'S A TRUCK DRIVER SO I DO ALOT OF THIS ON MY OWN. I FEEL BAD WHEN IT SEEMS MY SON DON'T GET MUCH ATTENTION SO WE PLAY WHILE I CLEAN OR COOK WHEN I VACCUUM HE HAS HIS OWN SO HE GOES BEHIND ME WITH HIS AND I TAKE A LITTLE PLASTIC TUB AND GIVE HIM A WRAG AND PLATIC WEAR TO DO HIS OWN DISHES(no water) he looks at it as if he is helping me and i enjoy the time we spend together(granted sometimes the chores take longer but to me it is worth it)he also sits on the side of the washer and helps me through in clothes then he gets to dump the soap in-my first two are 14 months apart

Answer 9

When my son was 17 months I gave birth to my daughter. The whole time I was pregnant I was so confused, How was I going to spend time with my son and take care of my baby? You know what happened? It just came to me. I just instantly knew what to do. When my daughter napped I played with my son. We went out and played and I had a baby monitor on my hip. We would stay in the front yard. You have to make your time precious. Your son will hit your new baby, he will get jealous, and it will be hard to potty train him. That's the life we have chosen, and we will survive. You need to involve your son with many things, like helping with the diaper changes, bathing baby, feeding baby, etc...My husband is also busy (not in the military), but he makes time for us. He has a very demanding position and when he comes home he lives all his worries at the front door. Your Husband needs to play with the new baby, and you need to spend time with your son. Read him a book at bedtime, give him kisses, and think to yourself, have you hugged your child today? My son was ready for the new baby, because..I carried around a fake baby (in my house hehe) and told him to help me. Once the baby is born and you start to feel better, get on the floor and play with him and his favorite toys. Be funny with him and teach him paitence at the same time. It'll be hard, but you can do it.

Answer 10

First, stop playing the martyr! Your husband is the child's FATHER - have him help out.

Second, realize that taking care of yourself and your unborn kid for the next 2-3 months outweighs everything else. No guilt. That baby needs all your energy. If your son needs to take a backseat for a few months, that's fine. He'll get over it.

Answer 11

Hire a maid to come in once a week to do dishes, vacuum, laundry, etc. It would help you out emmensely while you are pregnant & nursing the new baby. That way you don't have to rely on someone else to watch the 18 month old and you can do whatever you want.

Good Luck & Congrats on the new baby!