Help! My 3 year old keeps telling me his cousins moved away because they don't love him anymore. It didn't help that one of his best friends also moved away last month.
He told me yesterday that his soon to be baby brother or sister won't love him and will move away.
I'm out of ideas, any help would be greatly appreciated.
2007-02-26 04:21:56 · 8 answers · asked by njyecats 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
All of his cousins/friends are 3 & under. We're going to visit them in May & they're visiting us in April.
2007-02-26 04:37:14 · update #1
Use children's literature. Books and movies are wonderful for helping children prepare for and understand difficult situations. Story characters who model successful coping strategies are an excellent resource for children.
Children's books about moving
Dear Phoebe, S. Alexander
We Are Best Friends, Aliki
It's Your Move: Picking up, packing up and settling in, L. Bourke
I Don't Live Here!, P. Conrad
I'm Moving, M. W. Hickman
My Friend William Moved Away, M. W. Hickman
Moving Molly, S. Hughes
I'm Not Moving!, P. Jones
Maggie and the Goodbye Gift, S. Milord & J. Milord
A New Boy in Kindergarten, J.B. Moncure
Mitchell is Moving, M. W. Sharmat,
The Monster in the Third Dresser Drawer and Other Stories About Adam Joshua, J. I. Smith
Moving Day, T. Tobias
Moving, W. Watson
Lots of kids aren't happy when they hear there's going to be a new baby in the family. Point out to your son all the advantages and responsibilities that come along with being the big brother. Remind him that, unlike really little kids who can't help at all, kids his age can really be involved in helping Mom and Dad get ready for the new baby.
If you sense that he's worried he might not get as much attention from you once the baby comes, talk to him about his fears. Then offer some suggestions that will make him feel better — such as setting aside some special time each week when he gets you all to himself. Many books are available to read with your child to help him become more comfortable with the changes that are occurring in your family — you can look in the bookstore or library for one to take home.
2007-02-26 04:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mum to 2 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As a mom to 3, I'd tell him they moved because of parents decisions, not because they didn't love him any more. I'd use a map to show him where they live, and help him make a card or letter to show he misses them. Remind him he's a wonderful boy and everyone loves him. The same with the new baby. I'd have him make something special for the new baby and let him be part of the whole thing. It will show him he is important and needed. He will then feel loved. Ask the cousins to send letters or things they make to him. Every contact helps. Even phone calls. Hope this helps.
2007-02-26 12:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess I would just make sure he knows all the wonderful things about him, and that there is no reason for people to not love him when he is such a loveable person. Maybe ask the cousins and/or friends who moved away to write to him and tell him how much they miss him and love him. Kids love getting letters in the mail anyway. It makes them feel really special. I know I get a hug from my little cousins whenever I send them a card to let them know I am proud of them for doing well in a soccer game or a dance recital. They love that stuff.
2007-02-26 12:29:30 · answer #3 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you could try taking him to visit those who moved away and spend some time all together. tell him that even though people we love move away, it doesn't mean they will stop loving you. maybe tell him that they love him even more because the love has a very long way to go. also spend some time together just the two of you. get him to talk to your bump also. this may encourage bonding. and get him to draw pictures and make things etc to send to those who moved away. in some cases once the baby is born they toddler instantly bonds, kind of an intuition thing. i hope it all works out, maybe he will grow out of it too good luck
2007-02-26 12:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by obsessed_with_yoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that they are sad and miss him too. They had to move for their mommy or daddy's work or something similar. The closer to the truth the better. Once they visit it should be easier for him. Was he warned that they were leaving or did it appear that they just disappeared to him? It may be easier for him to understand when he knows some thing's coming, he won't feel left when he knows there's a reason why they had to leave. Just reassure him as much as you can.
My brother in law had to go across the country for work and his daughter took it hard. She thought that every one who went to work was leaving her and wouldn't be back. The best thing you can do is be patient. Let him know he'll see how much the new baby loves him as soon as it gets here too. Good Luck
2007-02-26 15:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by emily 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why dont you sit your son down, and make cards for the children that moved away. When you send the cards to them they will more than likely do the same back for him. And when he gets them in the mail you can point out how much they love him b/c they sent him mail. Children like to get mail, and when it is from someone they love it makes it more exciting. This may help him see that they are still thinking about him even though they are not there.
2007-02-26 12:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by Steph y 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
How old are the cousins? Are they like adults and they moved on their own or did they move because their parents moved?
I would say you should talk to them if they are old enough to understand what is going on and have them call him every day and talk to him. And if they are little like him talk to their parents about having them talk on the phone a lot. I don't know what else to say...
Good luck
Emily
2007-02-26 12:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that the baby can't move away, because he/she needs you just like he does to take care of him/her, and that babies love big brothers because big brothers teach them new things.
It also may be time to take him to a therapist who specializes in children.
2007-02-26 12:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋